Some Thoughts as We Enter a New Year...

There are two days in each week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring it back and we cannot undo a single act performed. We cannot erase a single word which we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
That leaves only one day - TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow, that we break down.
It is not the experience of TODAY that drives people mad; it is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Therefore, live but one day at a time.

When you are sad

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then - to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting."

from "The Once and Future King" by T.H. White

Sermons

Following the Sunday morning service, the pastor stood at the back of the church, shaking hands with the worshippers as they left. As one man shook hands, he looked intently at the pastor and said, "Powerful sermons, Pastor. Thoughtful, well researched. I can always see myself in them... and I want you to knock it off."

"Do Not Feed The Dingoes"

This sign is posted in Ormiston National Park. Most tourist probably think it's there to protect humans. The thought being, 'if you're close enough to feed a dingo you could be in a position of real danger.' Not True! The sign is posted to protect the dingoes. Each autumn, when the feeding tourists have long since departed, the park service must carry off the remains of dead dingoes who became so dependent on tourists that they were no longer able to gather food for themselves. We can become like the Ormiston Dingoes if we depend on others to spiritually feed us. Each day we must gather spiritual nutrients for ourselves from God and His Word.

Recipe for a Miracle

1 cup Tension
2 cups Stress
1 teaspoon of Guilt
2 heaping cups of Limited Time
3/4 tablespoon of Urgency A dash of "no Other Choice"
3 heaping cups of Faith

Fold ingredients gently into a bowl. Mix vigorously and add a few tears.
You’ll sweat a little as you knead the dough. Pack it firmly between your hopes and dreams and form into a perfect ball.
Sprinkle it with a little faith (I recommend Hebrews 11), rolling the ball in the flour until fully covered.
Place it under a veil of belief and allow it to rise.
Put it in the oven that has been preset at the perfect temperature for the heat of trials and tribulations.
Allow it to brown under the warmth of God’s love. Remove after due season and allow to cool in the confidence of his promise.
Garnish with your praises. Arrange neatly on a platter of thankfulness and serve to friends, families, and, oh yes, strangers...invite them too! Pass on the recipe to all who request it and let them know that with this recipe, they have the makings of a miracle.

Heart Gifts

It's not the things that can be bought
that are life' richest treasure,
It's just the little "heart gifts"
that money cannot measure
A cheerful smile, a friendly word,
a sympathetic nod
Are priceless little treasures
from the storehouse of our God...
They are the thing that cannot be bought with silver or with gold
For thoughtfulness and kindness
And love are never sold...
They are the priceless thing in life for which no one can pay,
And the giver finds rich recompense in giving them away.
- Helen Steiner Rice -

HoHoHo!!!

Christmas Repeated?

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion."
The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?"
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."
"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
"That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"
Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because some thoughtless hotel clerk wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

All is Calm: All is Bright

Somewhere in the hustle-bustle,
Maybe after prayers are said,
May you thrill with thanks that Christmas
Started in a manger bed.
Somewhere in the midst of glitter,
Maybe in a candle’s glow,
May you feel a peace and calmness
As God’s blessings overflow.

We’re blessed, aren’t we?

* If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive the week.
* If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pains of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people around the world.
* If you can express your beliefs without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.
* If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.
* If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.
* If your parents are still married and alive, you are very, very rare.
* If you hold your head up with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
* If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
* If you own just one Bible, you are abundantly blessed. 1/3 of the world does not have access to even one.
* If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read anything at all.
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

Christmas began...

Christmas began in the heart of God; it is only complete when it is in the heart of man:
A little child, a shining star A stable rough, the door ajar Yet in that place, so crude, forlorn, The hope of all the world was born.

A Christmas Thought

During the Christmas Season of 1879 an agnostic reporter in Boston saw three little girls in front of a store window admiring the toys. One of the girls was blind. As he approached, he overheard the other two girls trying to describe the playthings to their friend. In a later newspaper story the reporter said he had never thought how difficult it would be to explain what something looked like to someone who had never been able to see.
Two weeks later this same agnostic attended a meeting conducted by Dwight L. Moody. His plan was to catch the evangelist in some great inconsistency. To his surprise Mr. Moody used his newspaper article of the three children to illustrate a spiritual truth. "Just as the blind girl couldn't visualise the toys," said Moody, "so an un-saved person can't see Christ in all His glory." He went on to say that "God opens the eyes of anyone who acknowledges his sin and accepts the Saviour in humble faith.
That night the Newsman discovered his need and the truth of Moody's words.

Christmas without...

If shepherds had not come to worship, when the tidings came to them;
If there had never been a Christmas star, or a babe of Bethlehem;
There would be no Christmas story,
And there would be no “peace on earth”.
So let’s keep Christ in Christmas, in spite of what some say,
For without our blessed Saviour, there would be no Christmas day.

Discovering Christmas

A man hated church, but he loved ducks. But his ducks were really dumb ducks. They wouldn't go south when winter came. He fretted as each day got colder, and they weaker. He tried to put grain down leading into his barn, where they would be safe, but they wouldn't have any of it. He left the doors open at night, and put lights on inside, and they didn't even notice. It grew colder as the days went by, and the duck lover pondered and thought. He played music inside. He put Fox decoys all around outside. In frustration, he finally tried to herd them into his barn, but the more he waved and shouted, the more afraid the dumb ducks got, and fled further away from the warmth and the food their loving duck shepherd was offering them.
Our poor duck shepherd fell to his knees sobbing, knowing these ducks would soon die now, and nothing he could do would help them- nothing, because he was unfathomable to them, and they feared him. He thought, "If only I could be one of them, I could show them, communicate to them, and they would accept me, and not be afraid of me, and I could bring them to safety, warmth, shelter- to a place I myself have prepared for them. Just then he heard the bells for Christmas eve services, and realized for the first time what that babe in Bethlehem was all about...

Language Facts

* The verb "cleave" has two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: "adhere" and "separate".
* The homonyms "raise" and "raze" have opposite meanings: to build up and to tear down.

Check the Seal

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

Christmas Giving

I only did what you have done
A thousand times or more
When Joseph came to Bethlehem
And knocked upon my door
I did not turn the Christ away
With alibi so deft.
Like you, I simply gave to Him
Whatever I had left.
-B. P. Baker –

How well do you know your carols?

Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Ni.. (cough!, hack,!!)
The following Christmas carols could have been written by government departments. Can you guess the original titles?
1. Move Hither The Entire Assembly Of Those Who Are Loyal In Their Belief
2. Embellish Interior Passageways
3. Vertically Challenged Adolescent Percussionist
4. Soundless Nocturnal Period
5. Majestic Triplet Referred To In The First Person Plural
6. The Yuletide Occurrence Preceding All Others
7. Precious Metal Musical Devices
8. Omnipotent Supreme Being Elicit Respite To Ecstatic Distinguished Males
9. Caribou With Vermilion Olfactory Appendage
10. Jovial Yuletide Desired For The Second Person Singular Or Plural By The First Person Plural
11. Commence Auditory Reception The Announcing Cherubs Vocalize
12. Kris Kringle Will Be Arriving In The City In The Not Too Distant Future
13. Bipedal Traveling Through An Amazing Acreage During The Period Between December 21st And March 21st In The Northern Hemisphere
14. Its Arrival Occurred At Twelve O’clock During A Clement Nocturnal Period
15. Exclamatory Remark Concerning A Diminutive Municipality In Judea Southwest Of Jerusalem

How well do you know your carols?

Answers to bureaucratic carol titles...
1. O Come All Ye Faithful
2. Deck The Halls
3. The Little Drummer Boy
4. Silent Night
5. We Three Kings
6. The First Noel
7. Silver Bells 8. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
9. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
10. We Wish You A Merry Christmas
11. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
12. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
13. Walking In A Winter Wonderland
14. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
15. O Little Town Of Bethlehem

A familiar, but ambiguous carol

How many of us have sung "The 12 days of Christmas" for as long as we can remember but never knew its meaning? Hope you find this as interesting as I did. Now, if only I knew the source of this information...
Catholics in England during the period 1558 to 1829, when Parliament finally emancipated Catholics in England, were prohibited from ANY practice of their faith by law - private OR public. It was a crime to BE a Catholic. "The Twelve Days of Christmas" was written in England as one of the "catechism songs" to help young Catholics learn the tenets of their faith - a memory aid, when to be caught with anything in writing indicating adherence to the Catholic faith could not only get you imprisoned, it could get you hanged, or shortened by a head - or hanged, drawn and quartered, a rather peculiar and ghastly punishment I'm not aware was ever practised anywhere else. The song's gifts are hidden meanings to the teachings of the faith. The "true love" mentioned in the song doesn't refer to an earthly suitor, it refers to God Himself. The "me" who receives the presents refers to every baptised person.
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge which feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, much in memory of the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered thee under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but thou wouldst not have it so..."
The other symbols mean the following:
2 Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying = the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8 Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping = the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

Christmas: Three Perspectives

An American Perspective
The Freedom From Religion Foundation has received permission to put up a sign next to the Christmas tree in Wisconsin's state Capitol. The sign reads, "In this season of the Winter Solstice, may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but a myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds." The back of the sign has a reading, "Thou shalt not steal." The Madison group said it planned to make the sign "a winter solstice tradition." Religion Today. December 12, 1997
In Cuba…
Cubans will celebrate Christmas for the first time since 1962. Fidel Castro told the National Assembly, a legislative body, that the one-time only event will be celebrated in honor of Pope John Paul II's visit next month. The Pope had asked Castro to reinstate the holiday prior to his visit. Christian Cubans regard the move as a miracle, but expatriates say it is merely a political move by Castro to gain approval from Western governments. Christmas was canceled when the country declared itself officially atheist-communist in 1962 and redefined as secular in 1991, according to news reports.
In Australia…
“As a society we are very family-focussed at Christmas,” says Diana Kenny. “It can be very difficult for those people who are isolated, alienated, lonely, abandoned, or living in nursing homes. That sense of loneliness can become very heightened at that time of year. Kenny cites the case of a homeless young woman who tried to commit suicide each Christmas Eve so she could spend Christmas Day in hospital. Kenny met her after her third Christmas Eve suicide attempt. “At least in hospital she got a warm bed, Christmas dinner and the nurses made a bit of a fuss.” from the MBF publication, Living Well, Summer 1997 edition, p 19

An Advent Poem

‘Twas the night before Jesus Came
'Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mum in her rocker with baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be The Day!

The light of His face made me cover my head
It was Jesus! returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and this sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear;
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There's only one life and when comes the last call
We'll find that the Bible was true after all!

© 1993 Bethany Farms, Carrollton, Illinois, USA

The Challenge of Christmas

“When Christmas is over,” said a store manager to a minister, “it’s over, and it’s my job to rid this store completely of Christmas in a day.”
“Well,” replied the minister, “I have a bigger job: to keep Christmas in the hearts of people for the rest of their lives.”

Christmas Decorations

In our complex, commercial work it is hard to see in Christmas Decorations Your sacred significance. Please garland our lives with Your grace.
As we trim our churches, shops, schools, institutions, homes and clubs with synthetic imitations, direct our thinking to this central reality - Christ's coming into our spiritual understanding. Christ's life in our living, His death and resurrection our certainty of immortality.
From every candle, globe and tinsel string shall shine for us the Light of the World….
The wood of crib, carved nativity figures and cross become our tree of life.
Help us relate our space-age satellite and Your Star of Peace into the unity that makes power a protection for mankind.

Christmas Cards

As we buy or make, write on and post our Christmas Cards
Help us to infuse our acts with a true prayer for each person receiving a card.
So may we translate a task that could be wearying to a fruitful meditation of worship.
We ask for seeing eyes and sensitive minds to appreciate the craftsmanship, design and artistry that, through Christmas Cards, glorify Christ's birth within the human heart.

The Homeless Christ

You still walk the streets, our streets,
looking for a place to put your head,
still poorer than a bird in its nest.

You still knock
on the double-latched bolted-shut door
with Christians inside.

Christ, you are still discarded
and dropped in the wastebasket
of sometime or never.

Christ, your chance is still slim
in our land of goodness and keep-smiling,
where we live by your ethics without knowing you.
Proclaimed: teacher among teachers, king among kings,
God among Gods, one of the may ways to salvation,
take it or leave it.

Jesus, don't let me live outside of you, outside of the heart of the world.
Smash down my locked door, rest in my house and sit at my table.
Let me be on your side, drown me in your love.
Neglect the name and number that I am,
the address and place in or out of society
and break through to me to release the weights
clinging to my hands and feet.

And love me into your love, into your Christmas.

by Ulrich Schaffer, in Greater Than Our Hearts: Prayers And Reflections

In all things

In the happy moments praise Him,
In the difficult moments seek Him,
In the busy moments bless Him,
In the quiet moments worship Him,
In the waking moments trust Him,
In the painful moments touch Him,
In the loving moments thank Him,
In the quiet moments worship Him

At Least He’s Consistent!

At the doctor's office, the old professor had to fill out a questionnaire. One question was, "What kind of exercise do you do?"
"None," he wrote.
The next question read, "How often do you do it?"
The old professor quickly filled in, "Every day."

Make Census to you?

A man was sitting on his porch, when someone walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand. "What can I do for you?" he politely asked. "You selling something?"
No, sir, I'm not. I'm a Census Taker."
"A what?"
"A Census Taker. We're trying to find out how many people are in Australia."
"You're wasting your time here. I have no idea."

Truer than you really know...

A little girl, on the way home from church, turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, the Preacher's sermon this morning confused me."
The mother said, "Oh! Why is that?"
The girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. Is that true?"
"Yes, that's true," the mother replied.
"He also said that God lives within us. Is that true, too?"
Again the mother replied, "Yes."
"Well," said the girl. "If God is bigger than us and He lives in us, wouldn't He show through?"

Two Camels

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mum why have I got these huge three-toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".
"OK" said the son.
A few minutes later the son asks, "Mum, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert",
"Thanks Mum" replies the son.
After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mum, why have I got these great big humps on my back?"
The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we
can go without water for long periods."
"That's great Mum, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store
water, but Mum ..."
"Yes son?"
"Why are we in the San Diego Zoo?"

Thoughts from Abraham Lincoln

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage-payer.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatreds.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could - and should - do for themselves.

Prayer For The Working Person

Lord Jesus, as I enter this work place, I bring your presence with me. I speak Your peace, Your grace, and Your perfect order into the atmosphere of this office. I acknowledge Your accomplished within these walls. Lord Jesus, I thank you for the gifts you have deposited in me. I do not take them lightly but commit to using them responsibly and well. Give me a fresh supply of truth and beauty on which to draw as I do my job. Anoint my creativity, my ideas, my energy, so that even my smallest task may bring You honour.
Lord, when I am confused, guide me. When I am weary, energize me. Lord, when I am burned out, infuse me with the light of the Holy Spirit.
May the work that I do and the way I do it, bring hope, life, and courage to all that I come in contact with today. And Oh Lord, even in this day's most stressful moments, may I rest in You. In the mighty Name that is above all Names, in the Matchless Name of my Lord and Saviour Jesus, I pray, Amen.

- Author Unknown

What failure?

It is important to acknowledge a mistake instantly, correct it, and learn from it.
That literally turns a failure into a success. Success is on the far side of failure.
- T. J. Watson (1874 - 1956) Founder of IBM -

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though chequered by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. - Theodore Roosevelt -

Reading the Psalm

A leading actor was honoured at a banquet. In the after dinner ceremonies the actor was asked to recite for the pleasure of his guest. He consented, and asked if there was anything special anyone in the audience would like to hear.
There was a moment's pause, and then an old clergyman spoke up. "Could you, sir," he said, "recite the Twenty-Third Psalm?"
A strange look came over the actor's face, but he was speechless only for a moment. "I can sir - and I will, on one condition, and that is that after I have recited, you, my friend will do the same."
"I?" replied the surprised clergyman; "but I am not an elocutionist. However, if you wish, I will do so." Impressively the actor began the Psalm, holding his audience spellbound. As he finished, a great burst of applause broke from the guest.
After the applause had ceased, the old clergyman arose. The audience sat in intense silence. The Psalm was recited, and when it was done, there was not the slightest ripple of applause, but those in the audience whose eyes were yet dry had their heads bowed.
The great actor, with hand on the shoulder of the old clergyman, his voice trembling, exclaimed, "I reached your eyes and ears, my friends. This man reached your hearts. I know the Twenty-Third Psalm, but this man knows the Shepherd."

Paper Machines

A young executive was leaving the office one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen", said the CEO, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly", said the young man, flattered that the CEO had asked him for help. He turned the the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
"Excellent! Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "Two copies will be plenty."

The Emperor Moth

A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. On that day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. It just seemed to be stuck. Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrivelled body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of health.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.

What is Seen

What you are speaks so loud
That the world can’t hear what you say,
They’re not listening to your talk,
They’re looking at your walk,
They’re judging by your actions, every day.
Don’t believe, you’ll deceive by claiming what you’ve never know,
They accept what they see and know you to be
A life by your actions, shown.

Failure

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.

None of these People were Perfect

... and God still met them where they were
Moses stuttered.
David's armour didn't fit.
John Mark was rejected by Paul.
Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
Amos' only training was in the School of fig-tree pruning...
Solomon was too rich.
Abraham was too old.
David was too young.
Timothy had ulcers.
Peter was afraid of death.
Lazarus was dead.
John was self-righteous.
Naomi was a widow.
Paul was a murderer,
So was Moses.
Jonah ran from God.
Miriam was a gossip.
Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
Elijah was burned out.
John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
Martha was a worry-wart.
Mary was lazy.
Samson had long hair.
Noah got drunk.
Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
so did Peter, Paul-
So hang in there...God still loves you… in fact He loves you so much He won't leave you the way you are. "Being confident of this very thing, that He which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ" - Philippians 1:6

Sermon Analysis

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.
The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."
The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"

When the Church Bulletin Editor Takes a Holiday

Some classic typos from church Bulletins around the world
* Sermon Outline:
I. Delineate your fear
II. Disown your fear
III. Displace your rear
Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
* If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.
* Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
* Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."
* Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.
* If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
* We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
* Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
* Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer.
* Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
* Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
* The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared.
* As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
* Fifth Sinday is Lent.
* Thank you, dead friends.
* Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
* Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
* Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits. We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
* For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
* Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.
* Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess need assistance in next month's food drive. Volunteers are needed to spit up food.

My Cup Overflows

I've never made a fortune and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow.
And as I go along life's way, I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven't got a lot of riches, and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loving ones around me, and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his blessings, and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup has overflowed.

O, I remember times when things went wrong, my faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke, and the sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe about the tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage, When the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings: I'm already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Groaners

* What happens to a baby duck before it grows up? It grows down.
* I once read a book about anti-gravity. I just couldn't put it down.
* Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf"
* Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.
* What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop? Getting the scoop!
* Is a fjord a Norwegian automobile?
* I looked up synonyms for "diet" in my thesaurus, and found myself at words for a loss.
* Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.
* A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.
* Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Specifications

They're still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they stated that they will only accept three defective parts per 10,000.
When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. "We Japanese had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you."

Holmes and Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!

Feel Like Giving Up?

This poem was written by Mother Teresa and is engraved on the wall of her home for children in Calcutta.
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Learning From Childlikeness

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. Kids see flowers for Mum and blowing white fluff you can wish on.
When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money, and I look away. Kids see someone smiling at them, and they smile back.
When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm, so I sit self-consciously and listen. Kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words, and if they don't know them, they make up their own.
When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk. Kids close their eyes, spread their arms, and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing.
When I pray, I say "thee" and "thou" and "grant me this" and "give me that." Kids say "Hi, God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to heaven yet. I would miss ummy and Daddy."
When I see a mud puddle, I step around it. I see muddy shoes and clothes and dirty carpets. Kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.
I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from? No wonder God loves the little children!

Depends On The Hands

A basketball in my hands is worth about $49. A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million. It depends whose hands it's in.
A baseball in my hands is worth about $6. A baseball in Mark McGuire's hands is worth $19 million. It depends whose hands it's in.
A tennis racket is useless in my hands. A tennis racket in Pete Sampras' hands is a Wimbledon Championship. It depends whose hands it's in.
A rod in my hands will keep away a small, wild animal. A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea. It depends whose hands it's in.
A sling shot in my hands is a kid's toy. A sling shot in David's hands is a mighty weapon. It depends whose hands it's in.
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches. Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in God's hands will feed thousands. It depends whose hands they're in.
Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse. Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will produce salvation for the entire world. It depends whose hands they're in.
So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because...
It depends whose hands they're in.

Contradictions

God bless our contradictions, those parts of us which seem out of character. Let us be boldly and gladly out of character. Let us be creatures of paradox and variety: creatures of contrast; of light and shade: creatures of faith. God be our constant. Let us step out of character into the unknown, to struggle and love and do what we will. Amen.

- Michael Leunig

The Protestant Dictionary (2)

CHOIR: 1. A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to pantomime singing. 2. If the music is quality, the words cannot be understood. 3. If the words are quality, the music is lousy.
CHORUS: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
UNKNOWN TONGUES: Mother's pantomime instructions to her kids from the choir.
BULLETIN: Congregation Information, read only during the sermon.
AND IN CONCLUSION: A phrase that usually appears midway through a sermon.
MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by a Health Insurance Company 2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of the service, consisting of the pastors, the choir, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song on Sunday AM, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

The Protestant Dictionary

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Protestant Churches.
USHERS: The only people in the church who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
AMEN: The only part of any prayer that everyone knows.
BAPTISTRY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

How Do You Like These Apples?

This is a famous but rather complicated riddle.
A group of friends were discussing the subject of how many apples Adam and Eve ate in the Garden of Eden. The first person to speak was very matter-of-fact and said that it could only have been one apple.
The second person asserted that Adam 8 and Eve ate 2, making a total of 10.
The third person said there was something wrong with that, because Eve 8 and Adam 8 also, making 16.
"But," said another person, "if Eve 8 and Adam 82. that would be a total of 90."
Still another person said: "According to history, Eve 81 and Adam 82. That would total 163."
"But," put in someone else, "don't you see that if Eve 81 and Adam 812, that would make a total of 893."
"According to my figuring," said a college professor, "if Eve 814 Adam and Adam 8124 Eve, that would total 8938."

The Will of God

God’s will for my life is not a neat box on the path, but the path itself- a pilgrimage to be discovered by trust and obedience

- Gloria Gaither -

Some Riddles to Test You

At what time of the day was Adam born? A little before Eve
What animal took the most baggage into the ark? The elephant took his trunk
What animal took the least baggage into the ark? The fox and the rooster took only a brush and comb between them.
What was it that Adam and Eve never had, but gave to their children? Parents
Did Eve ever have a date with Adam? No, it was an apple!
What did the Egyptians do when it got dark? They turned on the Israelites!
How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel!

An Evening Prayer

O God, our Father, we thank you for this day which is passing from us now.

For any glimpse of beauty we have seen.
For any echo of your truth that we have heard;
For any kindness that we have received;
For any good that we have been enabled to do;
And for any temptation which you gave us grace to overcome:
We thank You, O God.

We ask Your forgiveness for anything which has spoiled and marred this day.
For any word which now we wish that we had never spoken;
For any deed which now we wish that we had never done;
For everything which makes us ashamed when we remember it;
Forgive us, O God.

Eternal God, who gives us the day for work and the night for rest, grant unto us, as we go to rest, a good night's sleep; and wake us refreshed on the morrow, better able to serve You and to serve our fellow-human beings. This we ask, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

from William Barclay: The Plain Man’s Book of Prayers

A Thirst for Knowledge

God be with those who explore in the cause of understanding; whose search takes them far from what is familiar and comfortable and leads them into danger or terrifying loneliness. Let us try to understand their sometimes strange or difficult ways; their confronting or unusual language; the uncommon life of their emotions, for they have been affected and shaped and changed by their struggle at the frontiers of a wild darkness, just as we may be affected, shaped and changed by the insights they bring back to us. Bless them with strength and peace.

from Leunig, The Prayer Tree

To have succeeded

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Most Significant Decision

This may shock you, but I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude is that "single string" that keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there's no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.

- Charles R. Swindoll

Some Children's Prayers

daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold". At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute -how come you called God 'Harold'"? The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy Name."

And this particular four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

With His Help You Can Do It!

Somebody said that it couldn't be done, but he with a chuckle replied,
"Maybe it couldn't", but he'd be the one who wouldn't say so until he tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin and if he was worried he hid it;
And he started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn't be done - and he did it.

Somebody scoffed, 'Oh you'll never do that, for no one has yet ever done it.'
But he took off his coat and took off his hat and trusting in God he’d begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, if any doubt rose he'd forbid it;
And he started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn't be done - and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done and thousands just waiting to fail you;
There are thousands to point out to you one by one the dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle right in with a bit of a grin and take off your coat and go to it;
God will give you the strength to tackle the thing that cannot be done and you'll do it!

Signs Found Out the Front of Churches

* You are not too bad to come in. You are not too good to stay out.
* Come in and let us prepare you for your finals.
* A miser is a rich pauper.
* Ask about our pray-as-you-go plan.
* We hold sit-in demonstrations every Sunday.
* No matter how much you nurse a grudge it won't get better.
* If some people lived up to their ideals they would be stooping.
* Pray up in advance.
* [At an Arizona church in August] You think it's hot HERE?
* I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me.
* Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children.
* K-mart is not the only saving place.

Things We Will Never Understand

Did you ever wonder why?
Some comedian has said: You tell a man there's 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, but tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it? Why?
Why is it called a hamburger when it's made out of beef? Why do you put suits in garment bags and put garments in suitcases? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms -- are they afraid someone is going to sneak in there and clean them?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic? When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss -- it sounds like a near hit to me?
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they know you don't have? Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway? Why are they called apartments when they're stuck together? Why are they called buildings when they are already finished? Shouldn't we call them builts? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Why? Probably the most asked and least-answered question in the English language.
At human birth the brain weighs, on average, 14 ounces. It usually reaches its maximum size at age 15 (proving the size of the brain has nothing to do with intelligence level). At its maximum size, the brain weighs an average of 46 ounces, slightly less than three pounds. In liquid measurement, that's about a big gulp from the soda machine at the local gas station. There is no way for medical professionals to prove this, but the old theory was that we only used about 10 percent of our brain capacity. If that were true and we only start out with a big gulp in the first place, we're down to about a quarter-pounder with cheese by the time we're done. And we think that with our quarter-pounder with cheese, we're going to comprehend the infinite, decipher the mysteries of the millenniums, we're going to answer all the questions? Right!
Isn't it logically impossible that we as finite creatures could ever fully understand the infinite? Yet God reaches out to us, and invites us to know Him, and be known by Him - in that curious mixture of knowing, and yet not knowing fully. We walk by faith, in the knowledge of God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Responsive Prayer - Growth

Lord God Almighty, every year you renew the face of the earth;
Every Easter we are reminded of your will to renew this world, fallen into sin and death. Though each year brings us back to this remembrance, it is not your will for us to remain as we are.
Forgive us, Lord, for remaining as those on pure spiritual milk,
For failing to grow in our salvation,
For resisting your urge for us to chew on meatier matters of life and faith.
We must pause and ask ourselves whether we have truly discerned in Your Son the dawning of true life.
(Silent Reflection)
Lord, you have invited us to share in this new creation.
Teach us how to be a people who are ever seeking to move on into new territory,
Leaving behind yesterday’s struggles, and moving into the new challenges of the present, and the future.
All creation speaks of your renewing touch, Bringing new life from old.
Grant that we too might demonstrate your renewing touch – in our work, and in our worship. Grant that by the power of His resurrection we may be born anew to a living and dynamic hope, and so overcome the world.
Let your resurrected life renew every part of our life. Through Jesus Christ,
Crucified and risen Lord, we pray. Amen

Who’s the Cheat?

Sitting at the bar after a game, Joe said to a club member, "I'm not about to play golf with Jim Walsh any more. He really cheats!"
"Really?"
"Well, just today he suddenly found his 'lost' ball only two feet from the green."
"That's possible."
"Not when I had the ball in my pocket!"

Prayer of Trust

O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death
I will not fear,
for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me
to make my journey alone.
Amen

- Thomas Merton

The Bird in the Cage

There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New
England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying
a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.
Several eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak...
"I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, 'What you got there son?'"
"Just some old birds," came the reply.
"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.
"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time."
"But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"
"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."
The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"
"Huh?? Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing - they ain't even pretty!"
"How much?" the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?" The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.
The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.
Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story......
One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.
"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don't want those people!!"
"How much?" He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all your blood."
Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.
The pastor picked up the cage, opened the door and walked from the pulpit.

The History Of The Praying Hands

In the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, a father of eighteen children worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade as a goldsmith and any other paying chore he could find. Two of Albrecht Durer the Elder's children wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew that financially it was not possible.
Finally, the two boys worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would work in the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by labouring in the mines. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were highly regarded so by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.
When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant homecoming. After the meal, Albrecht rose to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled him to fulfil his ambition. His closing words were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you."
All heads turned to where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No ...no ...no ...no." Finally, he rose and wiped his tears. He glanced around at the faces he loved, and then said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look ... look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother ... for me it is too late."
More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolours, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world. Yet, like most people, you are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. and may very well have a reproduction of it.
One day, in honour of all that Albert had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The Praying Hands."
The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Let it be your reminder, if you still need one, that no one - no one - - ever makes it alone!

Magnificent Man

Man, man, magnificent man;
Creates forces that outshine the stars.
He can shoot himself up and tap-dance on the Moon;
Or hurl himself clear out to Mars.

He can unleash a force that evaporates steel
Since he's learned how an atom behaves.
Yet he has no recourse but to bow to the force
That summons the dead from their graves.

from Johnny Hart (BC comic strip Nov 1994)

Doing the job well

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.

- Martin Luther King, Jr. -

The Pastor and the Eggs

The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for their entire 25 years of marriage.
Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, "WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbours for $1.

Spelling Trivia

If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
POTATO would be spelled: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

Renewal

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.

- Albert Schweitzer -

Inspiration and Passion

Inspiration and passion usually go together. If you are going to try to persuade others to go with you, it certainly doesn't hurt that you've got very strong convictions about where you are going. Like Columbus did, for instance, to discover the New World. And, if you've got passion and conviction, you're more likely to be inspiring. If you're inspired yourself and you're passionate about something, you're more likely to succeed at it, and you're more likely to get others to come with you.

- Ted Turner -

On the ark

A rabbi asked a six year old boy what his favourite bible story was. "I guess the one about Noah and the ark, where they floated around on the water for 40 days and 40 nights" replied the boy.
"That was a good story" said the rabbi, "and, with all that water, I bet they had a good time fishing, don't you think?"
He boy thought for a moment, then replied "I don't think so... they only had two worms".

God Knows

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.
When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish...
God has counted your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.
When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.
When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn...
God has a solution.
When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.
When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.
When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe...
God has smiled upon you.
When you have a purpose to fulfil and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing...
GOD KNOWS

Joy

Joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstance... A man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy.

- William Barclay -

Undercover Clergy

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

Spoiled Rotten???

"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own colour TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when he misbehaves?" asked his friend."
"I send him to our room."

Be Still... Psalm 46:10

Most of the significant advances in human history - great social and political reformations, artistic productions, unique inventions, etc. - have come not from rushing around but from being still. They required periods of deep and rigorous contemplation, for only in this way can we escape the clamour of outer voices that remind us of 'how we've always done it.'
How do we find this time for solitude and introspection? We must stake it out for ourselves. One top manager I know does not allow his people to talk on the phone or meet between 8:30 and 9:30 in the morning. This is their quiet time. I used to talk to people on airplanes. Now I use that time to reflect, read, write, or just quiet my mind. I am amazed by my creativity after a long flight.
The point here is that there is no way to do silence wrong. The only thing 'wrong' would be not to do it.

Ken Blanchard, The Heart of a Leader

Just One Little Contribution… So Great

A minister once was asked to conduct the funeral for a man who had helped develop the famous Boeing 747 aircraft. After the service, I spoke with the widow and commented on how remarkable it was that her late husband had helped build that marvellous machine. She said, "The truth is, he worked on one little switchbox smaller than a loaf of bread. That's all he worked on for 15 years. But when that 747 lifted off the ground for the first time, it was the happiest day of his life."
He worked on one small switchbox for more than a decade. Yet the huge plane couldn't have lifted off without this man's contribution. Often we see only our seemingly small efforts and feel we aren't very important. But when the great Kingdom of God "lifts off," we'll be thrilled to find out that all of our efforts were essential.

Yom Kippur Confession (The Al-Chet)

For the mistakes we committed before You under duress and willingly.
For the mistakes we committed before You through having a hard heart.
For the mistakes we committed before you through things we blurted out with our lips.
For the mistake we committed before You through harsh speech.
For the mistakes we committed before You through wronging a friend.
For the mistakes we committed before You by degrading parents and teachers.
For the mistakes we committed before You by exercising power.
For the Mistakes we committed before You against those who know, and those who do not know.
For the mistakes we have committed before You through bribery.
For the mistake we have committed before You through denial and false promises.
For the mistake we have committed before You through negative speech.
For the mistakes we have committed before You with food and drink.
For the mistakes we committed before You by being arrogant.
For the mistakes we committed before You with a strong forehead (brazenness).
For the mistakes we committed before You in throwing off the yoke (i.e. refusing to accept responsibility).
For the mistakes we committed before You through jealousy (lit: 'a begrudging eye').
For the mistakes we committed before You through baseless hatred.
For the mistakes we committed before You in extending the hand.
For the mistakes we committed before You through confusion of the heart.

Two thoughts on Adam and Eve

* Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
* At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

How to promote the absence of God

(some tips from C. S. Lewis)

“Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully. But you’d be safer to stick to the papers. You’ll find the advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or snobbish appeal.”

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologise to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.
But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologised to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister together, and as God calls you to the tasks He has appointed for you, don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength, and that "In Him every one of God's promises is a Yes."

Overcoming the "impossible"

Many men fail because they quit too soon. They lose faith when the signs are against them. They do not have the courage to hold on, to keep fighting in spite of that which seems insurmountable. If more of us would strike out and attempt the "impossible," we very soon would find the truth of that old saw that nothing is impossible... Abolish fear and you can accomplish anything you wish.

- C. E. Welch -

God knows

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.
When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish...
God has counted your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.
When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.
When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn...
God has a solution.
When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.
When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.
When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe...
God has smiled upon you.
When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing...
GOD KNOWS

A lesson on Value

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."
He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.
"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God's eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to Him.
Psalm 17:8 states that God will keep us, "as the apple of His eye."
THOUGHT: The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we are but by WHOSE WE ARE!

Still Learning

There's a chimp at the Fort Worth zoo who's making headlines - they've taught him to read! He's now reading the Bible, and Darwin's "Origin of the Species." It is confusing him - he's not sure if he's his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.

True Heroes

The Christian ideal changed and reversed everything so that, as the gospel puts it, "That which was exalted among men has become an abomination in the sight of God." The ideal is no longer the greatness of Pharaoh or of the Roman emperor, nor the beauty of a Greek nor the wealth of Phoenicia, but humility, purity, compassion, love. The hero is no longer Dives, but Lazarus the beggar; not Mary Magdalene in the day of her beauty but the day of her repentance; not those who acquire wealth, but those who have abandoned it; not those who dwell in palaces, but those who dwell in catacombs and huts; not those who rule over others, but those who acknowledge no other authority but God's. - Leo Tolstoy in What Is Art?

Growth and Change

I believe a man is born first unto himself - for the happy developing of himself, while the world is a nursery, and the pretty things are to be snatched for, and pleasant things tasted; some people seem to exist thus right to the end. But most are born again on entering manhood; then they are born to humanity, to a consciousness of all the laughing, and the never-ceasing murmur of pain and sorrow that comes from the terrible multitudes of brothers.

- D. H. Lawrence -

The state of humanity

A person asked God, "What surprises you most about mankind?"
And God answered:
"That they lose their health to make money, then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."
"But this is no real surprise to me, for what may be known about Me was plain to them -- I made it plain to them. Ever since the creation of the world, My invisible qualities -- My eternal power and divine nature -- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
"For although humankind once knew me, they neither glorified Me as God nor thanked Me, so their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged My truth for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than Me, their Creator -- who they should praise forever."
adapted from Paul's letter to the Christians in Rome.

(source unknown)

Success and Mistakes

To some people, I am kind of a Merlin who takes lots of crazy chances, but rarely makes mistakes. I've made some bad ones, but fortunately, the successes have come along fast enough to cover up the mistakes. When you go to bat as many times as I do, you're bound to get a good average.

- Walt Disney -

The Bible in 50 Words

God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promised landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained.

Conversion

“What must be destroyed, then, is the old way of thinking, and this must be replaced with a new nature. This is all accomplished when Christ, by His Spirit, is invited to take up residence within us. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me."...
We must never assume that conversion is simply obeying commands. It is much more than outward performance. It is allowing our vary nature to be changed so that from the heart we are participants in the things of God.”

Artificial Intelligence

Several years ago we had an office junior who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

Inspiration

The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration. - Ernest Newman

Individual and Team

My wife and I were in Sydney, Australia, and we had an opportunity to attend a performance of the Sydney Philharmonic Orchestra at the famed Opera House... When we arrived thirty minutes early, the orchestra members were already warming up... As they warmed up, the music sounded like noise to me.
At one minute before eight the conductor walked onto the stage. Immediately everybody sat up straight. As he stepped onto the riser, everybody came to attention. At eight o'clock he raised the baton, and when his arms came down, the music started. What had been noise a few seconds earlier became a beautiful melody.
The orchestra leader had converted a team of all-stars to an all-star team... No one instrument dominated any other; rather, each harmonized with and became part of the others.
The conductor had, for a number of years, been a musician in an orchestra. He had learned to be obedient and follow the orchestra conductor when he was a performer. In short, he had learned to obey so that later he could command.
I once saw a young man with a T-shirt emblem proclaiming, "I follow no one." What a tragedy! Because until he learns to follow, he will never be able to lead. – Zig Ziglar

A Prayer for Quiet

I have, O Lord, a noisy heart. And entering outward silence doesn’t stop the inner clamour. In fact, it seems only to make it worse. When I am full of activity, the internal noise is only a distant rumble; but when I get still, the rumble amplifies itself. And it is not like the majestic sound of a symphony rising to a grand crescendo; rather it is the deafening din of clashing pots and clanging pans. What a racket! Worst of all, I feel helpless to hush the interior pandemonium.
Dear Lord Jesus, once you spoke peace to the wind and the waves. Speak your shalom over my heart. I wait silently … patiently. I receive into the very core of my being your loving command, ‘Peace, be still.’
Amen.

from Richard Foster, Prayers from the Heart

Achievements

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

- Doug Larson-

It’s all in how you tell it

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company.
The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.
To show just "how" the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game:
"The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 1996 Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game."

Boxed Kisses

Some time ago a friend of mine punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared up again when he found that the box was empty. He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present there's suppose to be something inside of it?" The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy it's not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her forgiveness. My friend told me that he kept the gold box by his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who put it there. In a very real sense, each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses. There is not more precious possession anyone could hold.

First Funeral

A young minister, in the first days at his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died.
Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a very hard time, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell - the nut has gone to Heaven."

Reading the Bible

Some seem to expect the Word of God to hit them like a jolt of adrenaline each time they read or study it. Although the "jolt" may hit us periodically, the benefits of the Word of God act more like vitamins. People who regularly take vitamins do so because of their long-term benefits, not because every time they swallow one of the pills, they feel new strength surging through their bodies. They have developed a habit of consistently taking vitamins because they have been told that, in the long haul, vitamin supplements are going to have a beneficial effect on their physical health, resistance to disease and, general well-being The same is true of reading the Bible. At times it will have a sudden and intense impact on us. However, the real value lies in the cumulative effects that long-term exposure to God's Word will bring to our lives.

How to Give Your Cat a Pill

1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth. The retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
2. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger. Then retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
3. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good cry.
4. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and... Oooops!
5. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.
6. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.
7. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)
8. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man-or woman.
9. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.
10. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours). Take two aspirins and lie down.

by Peggy Althoff

Some Powerful Motivation

A U.S. Army officer told of the contrast in his pupils during two different eras of teaching at the artillery training school at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. In 1958; the attitude was so lax that the instructors had a problem getting the men to stay awake to listen. During the 1965; classes, however, the men, hearing the same basic lectures, were alert and took copious notes. The reason: these men knew that in less than six weeks they would be facing the enemy in Vietnam. One reason that Bible study seems to be irrelevant to many Christians is that they have no interaction with non- Christians, no vital ministry to growing believers, and no personal and internal struggle for godliness, all of which are factors that bring the truths of the Bible to apply to life.

Is Your Hut Burning?

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground - it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

New era?

The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Losing our Bible?

A story is told of a devout father whose son was studying for the ministry. The son decided to go to Europe for an advanced degree, and the father worried that his simple faith would be spoiled by sophisticated, unbelieving professors. "Don't let them take Jonah away from you," he admonished, figuring the swallowed- by-a-great-fish story might be the first part of the Bible to go. Two years later when the son returned, the father asked, "Do you still have Jonah in your Bible?" The son laughed. "Jonah! That story isn't even in your Bible!" The father replied, "It certainly is! What do you mean?" Again the son laughed and insisted, "It's not in your Bible. Go ahead, show it to me." The old man fumbled through his Bible, looking for the Book of Jonah, but he couldn't find it. At last he checked the table of contents for the proper page. When he turned there, he discovered the three pages comprising Jonah had been carefully cut from his Bible "I did it before I went away," said the son. "What's the difference whether I lose the Book of Jonah through studying under non-believers or you lose it through neglect?"

Production

Times of general calamity and confusion create great minds. The purest ore is produced from the hottest furnace, and the brightest thunderbolt is elicited from the darkest storms.

- Charles Caleb Colton -

Making the Hard Choices

Have you ever seen a straight river? Canals are straight, but all rivers seem to be crooked. We call it "meandering." Why are rivers crooked? Because the natural tendency of a river is to take the easiest way around any obstacle. So rivers are always crooked, and they always run downhill. Some people are like rivers - always following the line of least resistance; too lazy or immature to put forth much effort into the journey of faith, into shaping their spiritual identity. It is always easier to watch TV than it is to pray; easier to read the newspaper than the Bible; easier to stay as we are than confront difficult realities in ourselves and work for transformation; easier to complain about the world as it is rather than be part of its change and part of a better future...

Knowing Your Gifts

One of the great modern church searches is for individuals to find their spiritual gifts. And it is an important search. However, it seems to me that the people who are best placed to see and affirm our spiritual gifts do not look back at us when we shave in the morning (or put on our makeup!) The greatest way to discover gifts is to point them out in others. In that way, we can help each other fulfil the plan that God has for us, both individually, and as a church!
Look for, and affirm the gifts you see in others!

The Communal Need

When I first became a Christian, about fourteen years ago, I thought that I could do it on my own, by retiring to my rooms and reading theology, and wouldn't go to the churches and Gospel Halls; . . . . I disliked very much their hymns which I considered to be fifth-rate poems set to sixth-rate music. But as I went on I saw the merit of it. I came up against different people of quite different outlooks and different education, and then gradually my conceit just began peeling off. I realized that the hymns (which were just sixth-rate music) were, nevertheless, being sung with devotion and benefit by an old saint in elastic-side boots in the opposite pew, and then you realize that you aren't fit to clean those boots. It gets you out of your solitary conceit

- C.S. Lewis -

If only God were...

A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letter back the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, "Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there."

Top 10 Hymns for the Aged

10. It is Well with My Soul (but my legs are tired).
9. "Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing"
8. "Amazing Grace (considering My Age)".
7. "Just a Slower Walk with Thee"
6. "Count Your Many Birthdays, Name them one by one"
5. "Go Tell it on the Mountain - and Speak up !"
4. "Give Me That Old Timer's Religion".
3. "Blessed Insurance"
2. "Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah - I've Forgotten where I Parked"
And the NUMBER ONE HYMN is...
1. "Nearer, My God, to Thee".

Good Advice

Edited from material handed out at freshman orientation at the University of Minnesota.
• Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier - Angela, age 11
• Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk - Bruce, age 13
• A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. - Megan, age 14
• Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. - Nick, age 9
•Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute. - Lisa, age 9.

Signs Of Stress

1. Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
2. You can achieve a "runner's high" just by sitting up.
3. Trees begin chasing you.
4. You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
5. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
6. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
7. You and Reality file for a divorce.
8. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
9. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
10. You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.