Doubt is an essential ingredient in a life of faith. Nevertheless, I grew up believing that there was no place for doubt in my life. To be a person of faith, one had to eradicate every doubtful thought. It takes a major paradigm shift to welcome doubt as a friend. On the other hand, doubt can easily become an idol we worship. Because doubt can take on the appearance of academic thoroughness and depth, I find myself tempted toward intellectual superiority and cynicism. This becomes a paralysis that shadows faith. And doubt is grounded in self-focus - my fears, my understanding of truth, my expectations. This becomes a solipsism that isolates us from the life God offers.
I find myself invited, through struggling with doubts, to look beyond self-perceptions to God. This can be a long process. Knowing my bent to control life and doubt God's abilities, my spiritual director encouraged me to pray with the verse "His [Jesus'] divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness" (2 Peter 1:3a). For four months I wrestled with the inner doubts that surfaced as I faced into the actuality of this suggested truth. As I intentionally chose to shift my focus to the wonder of God, I was drawn to embrace Truth, letting my view of reality fall away. Facing my doubts was deepening my faith!
- Steve Imbach
No comments:
Post a Comment