On the Journey Towards Living With Doubt

In his ecstatic poem "I thank You God for most this amazing day," e. e. cummings wonders how any "human merely being" could "doubt unimaginable You." And I know that feeling, from rare moments when I seem to rise above, sink below, or expand beyond my small, everyday sense of self, my busily thinking mind, my ego working so hard to preserve the separateness of me. But most of the time, my consciousness is filled with doubts of every variety.
It is so easy, and often not unjustifiable, to doubt the truth of what we are told, the motives of people who affect our lives, the security of our future, the value and meaning of our past. And it can be hard to see the presence of God as the forest that contains all those trees. In this routine state of mind, it's just as easy for me to wonder how any "human merely being" could not doubt the unimaginable.
I wish I could trust and believe unquestioningly. But doubt is an undeniable aspect of who I am. I cannot banish it. But I can work diligently to keep it from sliding into the negative entrenchment of cynicism. Perhaps the key is to make sure I also doubt my doubt: remember my own experiences of assurance, really listen when others share theirs, and leave room for the inbreaking of transcendent certainty, which can come in the most surprising ways.

- Susan M. S. Brown