On The Journey To Becoming a Man

We all find out who we are by the process of finding out who we are not. Little boys try to walk around in their fathers' shoes. They trip and slide, then retie their little-boy runners on their little-boy feet. Older boys have to distance themselves from mothers and sisters and girl classmates and hang out with the "fellas." After contrasting himself with girls and women, a man turns to finding out who he is by comparing himself with other males. This is a dangerous test that can result in "compara-sinning," in which he measures the worst of himself with the best of one other male. So the journey moves from a sense of inferiority through awareness and up the hill of acceptance.
By his physical and psychological sexuality, a man is a donor and a doer. First he tries to give without awareness and acceptance. After he has become aware of himself through interactions with others, he arrives at self-donation out of gratitude for what he has received. Manhood is the final and graceful, level place for living, when he has accepted himself gratefully. This process is assisted greatly by those from whom he had to distance himself earlier. Parents in various forms give the boy-becoming-man wisdom, history and vision. Women give him a deeper sense of his heart, emotions and gentleness.
This process of becoming a man allows him to face God, his creator, with simple honesty. The journey is all a creational walk with God. A mature man does less demanding of life and others, but desires to receive more so that he might donate more of himself to others.

- Fr. Larry Gillick, S.J.