The Importance of Receiving

Receiving often is harder than giving. Giving is very important: giving insight, giving hope, giving courage, giving advice, giving support, giving money, and, most of all, giving ourselves. Without giving there is no brotherhood and sisterhood.
But receiving is just as important, because by receiving we reveal to the givers that they have gifts to offer. When we say, "Thank you, you gave me hope; thank you, you gave me a reason to live; thank you, you allowed me to realise my dream," we make givers aware of their unique and precious gifts. Sometimes it is only in the eyes of the receivers that givers discover their gifts.

- Henri Nouwen

The Dignity to Give and Receive

"Nobody is so poor that he/she has nothing to give, and nobody is so rich that he/she has nothing to receive." These words by Pope John-Paul II, offer a powerful direction for all who want to work for peace. No peace is thinkable as long as the world remains divided into two groups: those who give and those who receive. Real human dignity is found in giving as well as receiving. This is true not only for individuals but for nations, cultures, and religious communities as well.
A true vision of peace sees a continuous mutuality between giving and receiving. Let's never give anything without asking ourselves what we are receiving from those to whom we give, and let's never receive anything without asking what we have to give to those from whom we receive.

- Henri Nouwen

The Beauty of Shyness

There is something beautiful about shyness, even though in our culture shyness is not considered a virtue. On the contrary, we are encouraged to be direct, look people straight in the eyes, tell them what is on our minds, and share our stories without a blush.
But this unflinching soul-baring, confessional attitude quickly becomes boring. It is like trees without shadows. Shy people have long shadows, where they keep much of their beauty hidden from intruders' eyes. Shy people remind us of the mystery of life that cannot be simply explained or expressed. They invite us to reverent and respectful friendships and to a wordless being together in love.

- Henri Nouwen

Foolishness

"Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, God decided, through the foolishness of our proclamation, to save those who believe... We proclaim Christ crucified,... Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength." (1 Corinthians 1:20b-25 NRSV)
Scripture nowhere condemns the acquisition of knowledge. It is the wisdom of this world, not its knowledge, that is foolishness with God... The history of philosophy is a story of contradictory, discarded hypotheses... Many of them have failed to avail themselves of that which would unravel every knot and solve every problem, namely, the revelation of God in Christ as given in the Holy Scriptures.

- Harry A. Ironside

A Guide For Our Path

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "The various religions are like different roads converging on the same point. What difference does it make if we follow different routes, provided we arrive at the same destination." I find it interesting to note that he qualified his statement by concluding, "provided we arrive at the same destination". That seems like an enormous proviso. What if one's religion doesn't get them where they want to go, namely to be with God in heaven? It's a little late at that point to get on a different road.
I guess I would rather place my proviso on the One who had been there all ready, and had come to guide us there. 1 John 4:14 says, "We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God." Jesus, the risen Christ, said of Himself, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6)

- Rev. David T. Wilkinson

Who was Jesus?

He began His ministry by being hungry, yet He is the Bread of Life.
Jesus ended His earthly ministry by being thirsty, yet He is the Living Water.
Jesus was weary, yet He is our rest.
Jesus paid tribute, yet He is the King.
Jesus was accused of having a demon, yet He cast out demons.
Jesus wept, yet He wipes away our tears.
Jesus was sold for thirty pieces of silver, yet He redeemed the world.
Jesus was brought as a lamb to the slaughter, yet He is the Good Shepherd.
Jesus died, yet by His death He destroyed the power of death.

- Gregory of Nazianzus, A.D. 381

The Hands And Feet Of Christ

Jesus' hands and feet were not just anyone's hand and feet, but the signs of His real bodily presence. They were the hands and feet of Jesus marked with the wounds of His Crucifixion. It is of great spiritual importance that Jesus made Himself known to His disciples by showing them His wounded body. The Resurrection had not taken His wounds away, but, rather, they had become part of His Glory. They had become glorified wounds.
Jesus is the Lord who came to save us by dying for us on the Cross. The wounds in Jesus' glorified body remind us of the way in which we are saved. But they also remind us that our own wounds are much more than roadblocks on our way to God. They show us our own unique way to follow the suffering Christ, and they are destined to become glorified in our resurrected life. Just as Jesus was identified by His wounds, so are we.
This mystery is hard to grasp, but it is of the greatest importance in helping us to deal with our own brokenness.

- Henri Nouwen

Travelling With the Eyes of God

Travelling - seeing new sights, hearing new music, and meeting new people - is exciting and exhilarating. But when we have no home to return to where someone will ask us, "How was your trip?" we might be less eager to go. Travelling is joyful when we travel with the eyes and ears of those who love us, who want to see our slides and hear our stories.
This is what life is about. It is being sent on a trip by a loving God, who is waiting at home for our return and is eager to watch the slides we took and hear about the friends we made. When we travel with the eyes and ears of the God who sent us, we will see wonderful sights, hear wonderful sounds, meet wonderful people ... and be happy to return home.

by Henri Nouwen

Smiles Breaking Through Tears

Dying is a gradual diminishing and final vanishing over the horizon of life. When we watch a sailboat leaving port and moving toward the horizon, it becomes smaller and smaller until we can no longer see it. But we must trust that someone is standing on a faraway shore seeing that same sailboat become larger and larger until it reaches its new harbor. Death is a painful loss. When we return to our homes after a burial, our hearts are in grief. But when we think about the One standing at the other shore eagerly waiting to welcome our beloved friend into a new home, a smile can break through our tears.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Responsibility

It's easy to break the word responsibility down into its parts, 'ability to respond.' But to see how we can live that out takes attention to the people and teachings in our lives.
Frank, a friend of mine with Down syndrome, put me straight about my ability to respond when he heard me bad-mouthing Paul. He said, "If you want to help Paul, you have to love him!"
My eldest sister, Joan, demonstrated another type of ability to respond. After losses of friends, income, and health, at age eighty-four she moved from California to Canada to be closer to family. Unable to bring her car, she learned the subway. Unaccustomed to winter, she bought cold-weather clothes. Then she joined a church, a bridge club, the library, and the art gallery, where she made new friends and established a whole new life.
Look at the two great commandments - love God, and love your neighbour as yourself - as priorities in becoming a responsible human being. And see how Jesus lived them out (Luke 6:12-19): "Jesus went onto the mountain to pray and spent the whole night in prayer to God." Presenting ourselves to receive and give love to God in prayer is first.
"When day came he summoned his disciples and picked twelve of them." Belonging to families and communities that teach us self-love in truth and humility, with compassion and forgiveness, is second.
"He came down with them and stopped . . . where a large gathering of people had come to be cured of their diseases... Power went out from him and cured them all." In communion with God and others, we walk amidst pain in the world and respond with compassion.

by Sue Mosteller

The Meaning Of Easter

Easter never fails us. Even in the worst of times, amidst destruction, death and despair, Easter arrives as surely as daybreak, boldly proclaiming the message of renewal and hope.
...Biblical accounts of the first Easter Sunday have proven to be a powerful source of inspiration and transformation. The world was never the same again. The blood stained linen wrappings and the empty tomb ushered in a radically different era of brave new beginnings. The message of love, faith and hope still resonates across the globe [in the midst of world tragedies].
Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said in "The Brothers Karamazov": "Without God, everything becomes permissible." But Easter declares: "With God, everything becomes possible." That means hope - hope that transcends our limitations and triumphs over our worst fears. Easter epitomizes the kind of tragic optimism that cannot be crushed by all the forces of darkness, including death. This is the true meaning of Easter!

- Paul T. P. Wong, Ph.D., C.Psych., Trinity Western University

The Autumn of Life

The autumn leaves can dazzle us with their magnificent colors: deep red, purple, yellow, gold, bronze, in countless variations and combinations. Then, shortly after having shown their unspeakable beauty, they fall to the ground and die. The barren trees remind us that winter is near. Likewise, the autumn of life has the potential to be very colorful: wisdom, humor, care, patience, and joy may bloom splendidly just before we fall to the ground and die.
As we look at the barren trees and remember our dead, let us be grateful for the beauty we saw in them and wait hopefully for a new spring.

by Henri Nouwen

Resurrection Power

"God will raise our bodies from the dead by His marvelous power, just as He raised our Lord from the dead." (Ephesians 6:14 NLT)
Think about the greatest manifestation of power you could witness. Perhaps a hurricane or tornado came to mind, maybe an earthquake or an atomic bomb. I read about something more powerful than any of these. On May 18, 1980, there was an incredible explosion, estimated at 500 times the force of the atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima. The blast ripped 1,200 feet off the top of a 9,700-foot volcano name Mount Saint Helens. Within one minute a cloud of ash blocked out the sin. Sports Illustrated reported that the "heat, blast and ash destroyed 26 lakes, 154 miles of resident trout streams and 195 square acres of wildlife habitat."
That display of raw power is impressive. However, the Bible tells us that the presence of our God could make not only Mount Saint Helens crumble but also all the mountains known on earth. The psalmist wrote, "The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth" (Psalm 97:5, NLT). God is an awesome and powerful God, Creator of both heaven and earth. Ephesians teaches us that the greatest manifestation of God's power was not for destruction but for the resurrection of Christ from the dead!

- Lenya Heitzig and Penny Pierce Rose in "Pathway to God's Treasure: Ephesians"

Where Mourning and Dancing Touch Each Other

"[There is] a time for mourning, a time for dancing" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). But mourning and dancing are never fully separated. Their "times" do not necessarily follow each other. In fact, their "times" may become one "time." Mourning may turn into dancing and dancing into mourning without showing a clear point where one ends and the other starts.
Often our grief allows us to choreograph our dance while our dance creates the space for our grief. We lose a beloved friend, and in the midst of our tears we discover an unknown joy. We celebrate a success, and in the midst of the party we feel deep sadness. Mourning and dancing, grief and laughter, sadness and gladness - they belong together as the sad-faced clown and the happy-faced clown, who make us both cry and laugh. Let's trust that the beauty of our lives becomes visible where mourning and dancing touch each other.

by Henri Nouwen

Living Faithfully in an Ambiguous World

Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in nature colours and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.
It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities. We have to learn to make wise choices without needing to be entirely sure.

by Henri Nouwen

The Saturday Obituary Of Jesus Of Nazareth

Jesus Christ, 33, of Nazareth, died Friday on Mount Calvary, also known as Golgotha, the place of the skull. Betrayed by the apostle Judas, Jesus was crucified by the Romans, by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate. The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture, and loss of blood.
Jesus Christ, a descendant of Abraham, was a member of the house of David. He was the son of the late Joseph, a carpenter of Nazareth, and Mary, his devoted Mother. Jesus was born in a stable in the city of Bethlehem, Judea. Humble beginnings for one who, at the time of his death, was labeled "King of the Jews". He is survived by his mother Mary, his brothers including James, John the beloved, his other faithful disciples, and many other followers. It was thought that Peter would be one of his staunchest supporters, but he denied Jesus, not once but three times.
Jesus was self educated and spent most of his adult life working as a carpenter and later a teacher. Jesus also occasionally worked as a medical doctor and it is reported that he healed many patients. Up until the time of his death, Jesus was teaching and sharing his Good News, healing the sick, touching the lonely, feeding the hungry, and helping the poor.
Jesus was most noted for telling parables about his Father's Kingdom and performing miracles, such as feeding over 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish, and healing a man who was born blind. On Thursday, the night before his death, he held a last supper celebrating the Passover Feast, at which he reportedly washed his disciples feet and foretold his death.
The body was quickly buried in a stone grave, which was donated by Joseph of Arimathea, a loyal friend of the family. By order of Pontius Pilate, a boulder was rolled in front of the tomb. Roman soldiers were put on guard and remain there today.
In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that everyone try to live as Jesus did. Donations may be sent to anyone in need.
Jesus Christ had such a promising ministry. It is too bad it had to end this way.

author unknown

Becoming Friends of Our Children

Can fathers and mothers become friends of their children? Many children leave their parents to find freedom and independence and return to them only occasionally. When they return they often feel like children again and therefore do not want to stay long. Many parents worry about children's well-being after they have left home. When their children visit they want to be caring parents again.
But a mother can also become the daughter of her daughter and a father the son of his son. A mother can become the daughter of her son and a father the son of his daughter. Father and mother become brother and sister of their own children, and they all can become friends. It doesn't happen often, but when it does happen it is as beautiful to watch as the dawn of a new day.

– Henri Nouwen

Ransomed And Forgiven

Christ came to earth for one reason: to give His life as a ransom for you, for me, for all of us. He sacrificed Himself to give us a second chance. He would have gone to any lengths to do so. And He did. He went to the cross, where man's utter despair collided with God's unbending grace. And in that moment when God's great gift was complete, the compassionate Christ showed the world the cost of His gift...
He who was perfect gave that perfect record to us, and our imperfect record was given to Him. Jesus was "not guilty, but He suffered for those who are guilty to bring you to God" (1 Peter 3:18). As a result, God's holiness is honored and His children are forgiven.

- Max Lucado in "The Gift for All People"

Friendship in the Twilight Zones of Our Heart

There is a twilight zone in our own hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves - our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and drives - large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness.
This is a very good thing. We always will remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility but also to a deep trust in those who love us. It is in the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.

by Henri Nouwen

Workaholics 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my foreman, I shall not rest.
He makes me mow down the green pastures.
He leads me to generators beside rapid waters.
He wears out my soul.
He shoves me to conferences for my schedule's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of relaxation,
I fear no chance of rest;
For my feelings of guilt, They haunt me.
Thou dost prepare a work table before me.
In the presence of my comrades.
Thou has filled my mind with worry;
My workload overflows.
Surely busyness and pressure will follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will run to and fro
In the house of the Lord forever.

by Edward J. Vasicek

Sharing Our Solitude

A friend is more than a therapist or a confessor, even though a friend can sometimes heal us and offer us God's forgiveness.
A friend is that other person with whom we can share our solitude, our silence, and our prayer. A friend is that other person with whom we can look at a tree and say, "Isn't that beautiful," or sit on the beach and silently watch the sun disappear under the horizon. With a friend we don't have to say or do something special. With a friend we can be still and know that God is there with both of us.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Responsibility

There is an old Hasidic saying that people should carefully observe which way their hearts draw them, and then choose that way with all their strength. I have come to appreciate the wisdom of this advice as I learn to be a good parent. Raising a family carries responsibilities that I used to think were beyond my handling. But as my wife, Clara, and I bring up three children under the age of four, I am realizing that I can best influence them in a positive way when I connect to them from the places of my own passion and strength. I have discovered the joys of co-creating stories with my son and sharing language and rhythm with my daughters.
For instance, I can engage my son's imagination and persuade him to choose to eat that plate of beans as I tell a story about Salvador and the Bean Eating Giant. Storytelling does not absolve me from learning good parenting techniques, but I am grateful I have discovered a personal approach that connects with my son and daughters.
Raising our children seems possible to the extent I ask for and am open to support from family and friends, surrender to God's strength and love, and remember the tools that have helped me handle earlier obligations in my life. I see that my passions and enthusiasms are gifts to share with my family and resources with which to live out my responsibilities.

by Tim Greenwood

Great Sorrow

I love the story of a little girl named Ruth, who was sent on an errand by her mother. She was gone for such a long time that her mother became frantic with worry. When Ruth finally returned, her mother hugged her tightly, asking, "Where have you been? What took you so long?"
Ruth replied, "On my way home I saw Sally sitting in front of her house. She was crying because her doll was broken."
"So," said the mother, "you stopped to help her fix her doll?"
"Oh no!" replied Ruth, "I stopped to help her cry."
Jesus said, "The greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends" (John 15:13, NLT). He saw that our sins caused great sorrow, so He stopped and shed not tears, but His blood, for our sins.

- Lenya Heitzig and Penny Pierce Rose in Pathway to God's Treasure: Ephesians

The Healing Touch

Touch, yes, touch, speaks the wordless words of love. We receive so much touch when we are babies and so little when we are adults. Still, in friendship touch often gives more life than words. A friend's hand stroking our back, a friend's arms resting on our shoulder, a friend's fingers wiping our tears away, a friend's lips kissing our forehead - these are true consolation. These moments of touch are truly sacred. They restore, they reconcile, they reassure, they forgive, they heal.
Everyone who touched Jesus and everyone whom Jesus touched were healed. God's love and power went out from him (see Luke 6:19). When a friend touches us with free, nonpossessive love, it is God's incarnate love that touches us and God's power that heals us.

by Henri Nouwen

Seven Last Statements

Christ made His love for the world passionately evident in these last statements from the cross...
"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Do you realize that you are in need of the Father's forgiveness?
"Today you will be with Me in Paradise." Have you realized and confessed Jesus as your personal Saviour?
"Woman, behold your son." Jesus is concerned and provides for all of us.
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" Jesus was forsaken so we don't have to be.
"I thirst!" This personal statement reminds us that Jesus is not only God, but He also was man. Jesus identifies with our needs.
"It is finished." Our sin is paid for and sin's control over our lives is broken!
"Into Your hands I commit My spirit." You can entrust your life to God's hands.

- Greg Laurie in "Why the Passion?"

Forever Worthy

Dear God,
I have sinned
Against Heaven
And against You.
I am no longer worthy to be called Your child.

Child,
I know... I know...
But My Son
Is forever worthy
To be called Your Saviour.

- Ruth Harms Calkin in "Lord, You Love to Say Yes"

The Ways to Self-knowledge

"Know yourself" is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn't mean to analyse ourselves. Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it might be helpful to explore in some detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can ever completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others.
Solitude, silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred center, where God dwells. That sacred center may not be analysed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.

by Henri Nouwen

Don't Blame It On The Twinkies!

"If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong doing." (1 John 1:9 NLT)
To confess means to own up to the fact that our behaviour wasn't just the result of bad parenting, poor genes, jealous siblings, or a chemical imbalance from too many Twinkies. Any or all of those factors may be involved. Human behaviour is a complex thing. But confession means saying that somewhere in the mix was a choice, and the choice was made by us, and it does not need to be excused, explained, or even understood. The choice needs to be forgiven. The slate has to be wiped clean.

- John Ortberg in "The Life You've Always Wanted"

Claiming the Sacredness of Our Being

Are we friends with ourselves? Do we love who we are? These are important questions because we cannot develop good friendships with others unless we have befriended ourselves.
How then do we befriend ourselves? We have to start by acknowledging the truth of ourselves. We are beautiful but also limited, rich but also poor, generous but also worried about our security. Yet beyond all that we are people with souls, sparks of the divine. To acknowledge the truth of ourselves is to claim the sacredness of our being, without fully understanding it. Our deepest being escapes our own mental or emotional grasp. But when we trust that our souls are embraced by a loving God, we can befriend ourselves and reach out to others in loving relationships.

by Henri Nouwen

A Still Place in the Market

"Be still and acknowledge that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). These are words to take with us in our busy lives. We may think about stillness in contrast to our noisy world. But perhaps we can go further and keep an inner stillness even while we carry on business, teach, work in construction, make music, or organise meetings.
It is important to keep a still place in the "marketplace." This still place is where God can dwell and speak to us. It also is the place from where we can speak in a healing way to all the people we meet in our busy days. Without that still space we start spinning. We become driven people, running all over the place without much direction. But with that stillness God can be our gentle guide in everything we think, say, or do.

by Henri Nouwen

Are You In The Will?

Have you dreamed about inheriting treasures from a long lost relative? To be "in the will" would change your life forever! Consider the rags-to-riches story of Jack Wurm. In 1949, Mr. Wurm was unemployed and bankrupt. As he strolled along a San Francisco beach, he found a bottle with a scroll inside. He discovered that this "message in a bottle" was the last will and testament of Daisy Singer Alexander, heiress to the Singer Sewing Company fortune.
The faded paper read: "To avoid confusion, I leave my entire estate to the lucky person who finds this bottle, and to my attorney, Barry Cohen; share and share alike." The courts discovered that she had written the note and thrown the bottle into the Thames River in London. It had drifted across the oceans to San Francisco and reached a penniless Jack Wurm. Jack inherited over $6 million in cash and Singer stock.
Similarly, God has sent us a "message in a Bible." Within this book you'll find the "last will and testament of our Lord" with a different kind of inheritance - spiritual treasures. How will you respond? Will you walk past it? Or, like Jack Wurm, will you step out in faith and take action? Failure to take God's promises seriously leads to spiritual poverty. Jack's inheritance can't begin to compare with the spiritual wealth God offers His heirs!

- Lenya Heitzig and Penny Pierce Rose in "Pathway to God's Treasure: Ephesians"

Coming Together in Poverty

There are many forms of poverty: economic poverty, physical poverty, emotional poverty, mental poverty, and spiritual poverty. As long as we relate primarily to each other's wealth, health, stability, intelligence, and soul strength, we cannot develop true community. Community is not a talent show in which we dazzle the world with our combined gifts. Community is the place where our poverty is acknowledged and accepted, not as something we have to learn to cope with as best as we can but as a true source of new life.
Living community in whatever form - family, parish, twelve-step program, or intentional community - challenges us to come together at the place of our poverty, believing that there we can reveal our richness.

by Henri Nouwen

The Infinite Value of Life

Some people live long lives, some die very young. Is a long life better than a short life? What truly counts is not the length of our lives but their quality. Jesus was in his early thirties when he was killed. Thérése de Lisieux was in her twenties when she died. Anne Frank was a teenager when she lost her life. But their short lives continue to bear fruit long after their deaths.
A long life is a blessing when it is well lived and leads to gratitude, wisdom, and sanctity. But some people can live truly full lives even when their years are few. As we see so many young people die of cancer and AIDS let us do everything possible to show our friends that, though their lives may be short, they are of infinite value.

by Henri M Nouwen

God's Work of Art

One of the great works of art in the Western world is Michelangelo's Pietà, a marble statue of an anguished Mary holding the crucified Christ. Some years ago a fanatic nationalist rushed upon the masterpiece and began smashing it with a sledgehammer. Although the damage was significant, Vatican artists were able to restore the statue to near-perfect condition.
You were created to be a masterpiece of God. Paul writes, "For we are God's poiema" - a word that can mean God's "workmanship," or even God's "work of art." God made you to know oneness with Him and with other human beings. God made you to be co-regent with Him - to "fill the earth and subdue it," to "have dominion" over creation under His reign and with His help. It is the goodness of God's work in creating us that makes our fallenness so tragic. This is why my disappointment in myself runs so deep.
But God is determined to overcome the defacing of His image in us. His plan is not simply to repair most of our brokenness. He wants to make us new creatures. So the story of the human race is not just one of universal disappointment, but one of inextinguishable hope.

- John Ortberg in "The Life You've Always Wanted "

Lovingly Engraved

Novelist Reynolds Price said there is one sentence all humankind craves to hear: "The Maker of all things loves and wants me." That is the sentence Jesus proclaimed, loud as sweet thunder. The Maker of all things is the Maker of all human beings, an odd species that He, unfathomably, deemed worthy of individual attention and love. He demonstrated that love in person, on the gnarly hills of Palestine, and ultimately on the cross.
What the prophets spoke about, Jesus lived. "I have engraved you on the palms of My hands," God said in Isaiah's day. When He visited earth in the form of a Servant, He showed that the hand of God is not too big for the smallest person in the world. It is a hand engraved with our individual names and engraved also with wounds, the cost to God of loving us so much.

- Philip Yancey in "The Bible Jesus Read"

Not Breaking the Bruised Reeds

Some of us tend to do away with things that are slightly damaged. Instead of repairing them we say: "Well, I don't have time to fix it, I might as well throw it in the garbage can and buy a new one." Often we also treat people this way. We say: "Well, he has a problem with drinking; well, she is quite depressed; well, they have mismanaged their business... we'd better not take the risk of working with them." When we dismiss people out of hand because of their apparent woundedness, we stunt their lives by ignoring their gifts, which are often buried in their wounds.
We all are bruised reeds, whether our bruises are visible or not. The compassionate life is the life in which we believe that strength is hidden in weakness and that true community is a fellowship of the weak.

by Henri Nouwen

The Virtue of Flexibility

Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and are standing up again when the storm has calmed down.
Flexibility is a great virtue. When we cling to our own positions and are not willing to let our hearts be moved back and forth a little by the ideas or actions of others, we may easily be broken. Being like wild reeds does not mean being wishy-washy. It means moving a little with the winds of the time while remaining solidly anchored in the ground. A humorless, intense, opinionated rigidity about current issues might cause these issues to break our spirits and make us bitter people. Let's be flexible while being deeply rooted.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Responsibility

Responsibility is one of those words whose meaning changes over time. When we're children, responsibility is an achievement to be celebrated. As adults, responsibility might not look so appealing. It smacks of burden, obligation, being tied down. It seems obvious to consider that responsibility is about response - the ability to respond - but what might not seem so obvious is that responsibility is an attitude of the heart. What does it mean to have a responsive heart? It means being open to our own emotions and needs, receiving the pain and joy of others, and giving something of ourselves in return.
As a therapist, I have seen that many people struggle deeply with responsibility (response-ability). The thought of truly responding to our own deepest longings and the needs of others is frightening and overwhelming. One person I work with feels that if others need anything from her she will be consumed, wiped out by the other's request for her to respond. For that reason, everything that happens to her must be someone else's responsibility. And of course, she cannot allow herself to have any needs either, as this might wipe out the other who has to respond to her.
When we fear responsibility, we become isolated, afraid to really connect to the other who needs us, or the parts of ourselves that are weak or vulnerable. It's true that responsibility carries risk - risk that we will be unappreciated, or left heart-broken. But at the same time, when we are responsible we are alive; we are responding, not just passively letting life happen to us. The God who created us in the divine image might be thought of as "the one who responds." To take responsibility is to grow up in the Spirit and claim the life that we have been given. It's worth the risk.

by Lisa M. Cataldo

Hurry Sickness

Meyer Friedman defines hurry sickness as "above all, a continuous struggle and unremitting attempt to accomplish or achieve more and more things or participate in more and more events in less and less time, frequently in the face of opposition, real or imagined, from other persons."
Though our age intensifies "hurry sickness," it's not a new problem; people in ministry have been subject to it at least since the days of Jesus. During one hectic season of ministry, Mark notes of the disciples, "For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat."
Far too many [Christians] think of this as a life verse, as if God will reward the hectic one day with, "What a life you had! Many were coming and going, and you had no leisure even to eat. Well done!"
Not quite. Jesus was aware of this problem, and He constantly withdrew from crowds and activities. He taught the same to His followers. In one instance, when they returned from a busy time of ministry, filled with adrenaline, He told them, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while."
If you want to follow someone, you can't go faster than the one who is leading; following Jesus cannot be done at a sprint. Jesus was often busy but He was never hurried. Being busy is an outer condition; being hurried is a sickness of the soul. Jesus never went about the busyness of His ministry in a way that severed the life-giving connection between Himself and His Father.
He never did it in a way that interfered with His ability to give love when that was what was called for. He observed a regular rhythm of withdrawal from activity, for solitude and prayer. He ruthlessly eliminated hurry from his life.

- John Ortberg

An Honest Being-With

Being with a friend in great pain is not easy. It makes us uncomfortable. We do not know what to do or what to say, and we worry about how to respond to what we hear. Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear than out of our care for the person in pain. Sometimes we say things like "Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday," or "You will soon be your old self again," or "I'm sure you will get over this." But often we know that what we're saying is not true, and our friends know it too.
We do not have to play games with each other. We can simply say: "I am your friend, I am happy to be with you." We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence. Sometimes it is good to say: "You don't have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you."

by Henri Nouwen

The Grace Of Humour

As Christians, we are people of the resurrection, therefore we are people who love to laugh, who believe that laughter is a wonderfully life-giving, defiant act full of the grace of God. Easter is that which enables us to keep going, even in our moral failures, even when being a servant of the Word is difficult. Those who have kept at the Christian ministry longer than I will confirm the essential virtue of humour... The ability to laugh at life's incongruities, to take God seriously but not ourselves, to embrace the strangeness of [other] people instead of strangling them to death with our bare hands - this is great grace... Humour is the grace to put our problems in perspective,... to be reminded that Jesus really did need to save us, seeing as we have so little means to save ourselves. Humour is just a glimpse, on a human scale, of the way God looks upon us from God's unfathomable grace. By the resurrection, the gospel is enabled to be comedy and not tragedy.

- U. M. Bishop William Willimon

Bringing the Spirit Through Leaving

It is often in our absence that the Spirit of God manifests itself. When Jesus left his disciples he said: "It is for your own good that I am going, because unless I go, the Paraclete [the Spirit] will not come to you. However, when the Spirit of truth comes he will lead you to the complete truth" (John 16: 7;13). It was only in Jesus' absence that his friends discovered the full meaning of his presence. It was only in his absence that they completely understood his words and experienced full communion with him; and it was only in his absence that they could gather in a community of faith, hope, and love.
When we claim for ourselves that we come to our friends in the Name of Jesus - that through us Jesus becomes present to them - we can trust that our leaving will also bring them the Spirit of Jesus. Thus, not only our presence but also our absence becomes a gift to others.

by Henri Nouwen

Absence That Creates Presence

It is good to visit people who are sick, dying, shut in, handicapped, or lonely. But it is also important not to feel guilty when our visits have to be short or can only happen occasionally. Often we are so apologetic about our limitations that our apologies prevent us from really being with the other when we are there. A short time fully present to a sick person is much better than a long time with many explanations of why we are too busy to come more often.
If we are able to be fully present to our friends when we are with them, our absence too will bear many fruits. Our friends will say: "He visited me" or "She visited me," and discover in our absence the lasting grace of our presence.

by Henri Nouwen

The Spirit of Jesus Listening in Us

Listening in the spiritual life is much more than a psychological strategy to help others discover themselves. In the spiritual life the listener is not the ego, which would like to speak but is trained to restrain itself, but the Spirit of God within us. When we are baptised in the Spirit - that is, when we have received the Spirit of Jesus as the breath of God breathing within us - that Spirit creates in us a sacred space where the other can be received and listened to. The Spirit of Jesus prays in us and listens in us to all who come to us with their sufferings and pains.
When we dare to fully trust in the power of God's Spirit listening in us, we will see true healing occur.

by Henri Nouwen

Listening as Spiritual Hospitality

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.
Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.

by Henri Nouwen

Our Unique Call

So many terrible things happen every day that we start wondering whether the few things we do ourselves make any sense. When people are starving only a few thousand miles away, when wars are raging close to our borders, when countless people in our own cities have no homes to live in, our own activities look futile. Such considerations, however, can paralyse us and depress us.
Here the word call becomes important. We are not called to save the world, solve all problems, and help all people. But we each have our own unique call, in our families, in our work, in our world. We have to keep asking God to help us see clearly what our call is and to give us the strength to live out that call with trust. Then we will discover that our faithfulness to a small task is the most healing response to the illnesses of our time.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Forgiveness

I was going through a difficult time, dealing with one of life's traumas, when a close family member abandoned me. Or so I thought. That was seven years ago, maybe eight, and I have held a grudge ever since. The trauma has passed, but my anger hasn't.
I still allow my anger to discolour all of my feelings about him. Many days I actually enjoy the smug, angry feelings, which make me feel powerful. How? Please don't ask, because I am embarrassed about freely harbouring such bitterness. I don't know why I choose to cling to a toxic resentment that often keeps my shoulders and stomach oh so tense when I'm around him.
I have another choice - a choice to forgive. For my own sake, I should. I know that my act of forgiving would take me by the hand to a more tranquil place. But in this broken relationship, I prefer suffering from self-inflicted feelings to taking the simple step of saying "I forgive you."
The appropriate cliché would be to tell you that, at last, I've decided to forgive him. But I haven't. I still suffer in that unpleasant place between problem and resolution. I know I will stay there until I choose to leave. This is no longer about what the other person did to me. It's about what I must learn as I cling to bitterness. Only my heart can show me the way, even as my head rattles with resentful thoughts. The question, then, is this: Do I have the humility to listen to my heart, which so desperately seeks peace?

by Ed Wojcicki

Freedom from Judging, Freedom for Mercy

We spend an enormous amount of energy making up our minds about other people. Not a day goes by without somebody doing or saying something that evokes in us the need to form an opinion about him or her. We hear a lot, see a lot, and know a lot. The feeling that we have to sort it all out in our minds and make judgments about it can be quite oppressive.
The desert fathers said that judging others is a heavy burden, while being judged by others is a light one. Once we can let go of our need to judge others, we will experience an immense inner freedom. Once we are free from judging, we will be also free for mercy. Let's remember Jesus' words: "Do not judge, and you will not be judged" (Matthew 7:1).

by Henri Nouwen

Towards a Nonjudgmental Life

One of the hardest spiritual tasks is to live without prejudices. Sometimes we aren't even aware how deeply rooted our prejudices are. We may think that we relate to people who are different from us in colour, religion, sexual orientation, or lifestyle as equals, but in concrete circumstances our spontaneous thoughts, uncensored words, and knee-jerk reactions often reveal that our prejudices are still there.
Strangers, people different than we are, stir up fear, discomfort, suspicion, and hostility. They make us lose our sense of security just by being "other." Only when we fully claim that God loves us in an unconditional way and look at "those other persons" as equally loved can we begin to discover that the great variety in being human is an expression of the immense richness of God's heart. Then the need to prejudge people can gradually disappear.

by Henri Nouwen

The Great Gift of Parenthood

Children are their parents' guests. They come into the space that has been created for them, stay for a while - fifteen, twenty, or twenty-five years - and leave again to create their own space. Although parents speak about "our son" and "our daughter," their children are not their property. In many ways children are strangers. Parents have to come to know them, discover their strengths and their weaknesses, and guide them to maturity, allowing them to make their own decisions.
The greatest gift parents can give their children is their love for each other. Through that love they create an anxiety-free place for their children to grow, encouraging them to develop confidence in themselves and find the freedom to choose their own ways in life.

by Henri Nouwen

True Hospitality

Every good relationship between two or more people, whether it is friendship, marriage, or community, creates space where strangers can enter and become friends. Good relationships are hospitable. When we enter into a home and feel warmly welcomed, we will soon realise that the love among those who live in that home is what makes that welcome possible.
When there is conflict in the home, the guest is soon forced to choose sides. "Are you for him or for her?" "Do you agree with them or with us?" "Do you like him more than you do me?" These questions prevent true hospitality - that is, an opportunity for the stranger to feel safe and discover his or her own gifts. Hospitality is more than an expression of love for the guest. It is also and foremost an expression of love between the hosts.

by Henri Nouwen

So Great A Passion

My Lord Jesus Christ, two graces I beg of You before I die:
The first is that in my lifetime I may feel, in my soul and in my body, as far as possible, that sorrow which You, sweet Jesus, endured in the hour of Your most bitter passion.
The second is that I may feel in my heart, as far as possible, that abundance of love with which You, Son of God, were inflamed, so as willingly to endure so great a passion for us sinners.

- Francis of Assisi in "A Book of Personal Prayer"

Creating a Home Together

Many human relationships are like the interlocking fingers of two hands. Our loneliness makes us cling to each other, and this mutual clinging makes us suffer immensely because it does not take our loneliness away. But the harder we try, the more desperate we become. Many of these "interlocking" relationships fall apart because they become suffocating and oppressive. Human relationships are meant to be like two hands folded together. They can move away from each other while still touching with the fingertips. They can create space between themselves, a little tent, a home, a safe place to be.
True relationships among people point to God. They are like prayers in the world. Sometimes the hands that pray are fully touching, sometimes there is distance between them. They always move to and from each other, but they never lose touch. They keep praying to the One who brought them together.

by Henri Nouwen

Reflecting God's Perfect Love

God's love for us is everlasting. That means that God's love for us existed before we were born and will exist after we have died. It is an eternal love in which we are embraced. Living a spiritual life calls us to claim that eternal love for ourselves so that we can live our temporal loves - for parents, brothers, sisters, teachers, friends, spouses, and all people who become part of our lives - as reflections or refractions of God's eternal love. No fathers or mothers can love their children perfectly. No husbands or wives can love each other with unlimited love. There is no human love that is not broken somewhere.
When our broken love is the only love we can have, we are easily thrown into despair, but when we can live our broken love as a partial reflection of God's perfect, unconditional love, we can forgive one another our limitations and enjoy together the love we have to offer.

by Henri Nouwen

Known By God

"I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My Hands..." (Isaiah 49:15b-16a)

What matters supremely, therefore, is not, in the last analysis, the fact that I know God, but the larger fact which underlies it - the fact that He knows me. I am graven on the palms of His hands; I am never out of His mind. All my knowledge of Him depends on His sustained initiative in knowing me. I know Him because He first knew me and continues to know me. - J. I. Packer in "Knowing God"

- Jim Packer

God's faithfulness and Ours

When God makes a covenant with us, God says: "I will love you with an everlasting love. I will be faithful to you, even when you run away from me, reject me, or betray me." In our society we don't speak much about covenants; we speak about contracts. When we make a contract with a person, we say: "I will fulfill my part as long as you fulfill yours. When you don't live up to your promises, I no longer have to live up to mine." Contracts are often broken because the partners are unwilling or unable to be faithful to their terms.
But God didn't make a contract with us; God made a covenant with us, and God wants our relationships with one another to reflect that covenant. That's why marriage, friendship, life in community are all ways to give visibility to God's faithfulness in our lives together.

by Henri Nouwen

God's Covenant

God made a covenant with us. The word covenant means "coming together." God wants to come together with us. In many of the stories in the Hebrew Bible, we see that God appears as a God who defends us against our enemies, protects us against dangers, and guides us to freedom. God is God-for-us. When Jesus comes a new dimension of the covenant is revealed. In Jesus, God is born, grows to maturity, lives, suffers, and dies as we do. God is God-with-us. Finally, when Jesus leaves he promises the Holy Spirit. In the Holy Spirit, God reveals the full depth of the covenant. God wants to be as close to us as our breath. God wants to breathe in us, so that all we say, think and do is completely inspired by God. God is God-within-us. Thus God's covenant reveals to us to how much God loves us.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Forgiveness

When the adrenaline of a birth with a "good outcome" wore off, I found myself at home with a three-month-old baby and a two-year-old. At this point the baby was up every hour. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. There was no space for sleep, let alone solitude. This was when I discovered that I have an anger button I had not experienced before.
There were times when I was so angry I went into the garage and kicked the garbage cans. Then I would come back into the house, feeling some relief but still stewing. As for my children, after a little nap, they were ready to re-enter the relationship and begin anew. They accepted my apology and forgave me with eagerness and a willingness to trust me again. The baby would cozy up for a little suckle, and if I tried to dwell in my anger towards them, the toddler would look at me as if I was peculiar and egg me on to come and play with her.
Forgiveness and celebration are the staples in the diet of my children's emotional lives. It is by God's invitation that I eat at their table and share in community with them to learn about God's forgiveness and the immense joy God takes in God's children.

written by Sheilagh Ashworth

Hope In The Midst Of Tragedy

I cannot imagine what it would be like to endure a tragedy without the hope that God offers. Without Jesus Christ, there is no hope...
Of course, we Christians grieve when those we love are taken from us, but we do not grieve as those who have no hope. We do not believe that people cease to exist when they die; the Bible tell us that we will again see all those loved ones who put their faith in Christ. As Paul writes, "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who die, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have died in Him" (1 Thessalonians. 4:13-14).
Hope is available to us, even in the midst of tragedy. And not only hope for eternal life, but hope of being reunited with those we love. Hope is available now, even in tragedy, because God has promised to walk with us through any disaster that might over take us.

- Luis Palau in "Where Is God When Bad Things Happen?"

Career Verses Calling

American society does not talk much about calling anymore. It is more likely to think in terms of career. Yet, for many people a career becomes the altar on which they sacrifice their lives. Benjamin Hunnicutt is a historian who specializes in the history of work at the University of Iowa. He notes that work has become our new religion, where we worship and give our time. As people's commitment to family, community, and faith are shrinking, they begin to look to their careers to provide them with meaning, connectedness identity, and esteem.
A calling, which is something I do FOR God, is replaced by a CAREER, which threatens to BECOME my god. A career is something I choose for myself; a calling is something I receive. A career is something I do for myself; a calling something I do for God. A career promises status, money, or power; a calling generally promises difficulty and even some suffering - and the opportunity to be used by God.

- John Ortberg in "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"

Letting Go of Our Fear of God

We are afraid of emptiness. Spinoza speaks about our "horror vacui," our horrendous fear of vacancy. We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space. We want to be occupied. And if we are not occupied we easily become preoccupied; that is, we fill the empty spaces before we have even reached them. We fill them with our worries, saying, "But what if ..."
It is very hard to allow emptiness to exist in our lives. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. Let's pray that we can let go of our fear of God and embrace God as the source of all love.

by Henri Nouwen

Creating Space for God

Discipline is the other side of discipleship. Discipleship without discipline is like waiting to run in the marathon without ever practicing. Discipline without discipleship is like always practicing for the marathon but never participating. It is important, however, to realize that discipline in the spiritual life is not the same as discipline in sports. Discipline in sports is the concentrated effort to master the body so that it can obey the mind better. Discipline in the spiritual life is the concentrated effort to create the space and time where God can become our master and where we can respond freely to God's guidance.
Thus, discipline is the creation of boundaries that keep time and space open for God. Solitude requires discipline, worship requires discipline, caring for others requires discipline. They all ask us to set apart a time and a place where God's gracious presence can be acknowledged and responded to.

by Henri Nouwen

Facing Our Mortality

We all have dreams about the perfect life: a life without pain, sadness, conflict, or war. The spiritual challenge is to experience glimpses of this perfect life right in the middle of our many struggles. By embracing the reality of our mortal life, we can get in touch with the eternal life that has been sown there. The apostle Paul expresses this powerfully when he writes: "We are subjected to every kind of hardship, but never distressed; we see no way out but we never despair; we are pursued but never cut off; knocked down, but still have some life in us; always we carry with us in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus, too, may be visible in our ... mortal flesh" (2 Corinthians 4:8-12).
Only by facing our mortality can we come in touch with the life that transcends death. Our imperfections open for us the vision of the perfect life that God in and through Jesus has promised us.

by Henri Nouwen

Knowing God

The Bible tells us very clearly that to "know" God is not an affair of the mind only, but an act in which our whole being - heart, mind, and will - is vitally engaged; so that sheer intellectual speculation would enable us to form certain ideas about God but never to know Him. To be grasped, God's will must be met with a readiness to obey.

- Suzanne de Diétrich in "Discovering the Bible"

Hidden Greatness

There is much emphasis on notoriety and fame in our society. Our newspapers and television keep giving us the message: What counts is to be known, praised, and admired, whether you are a writer, an actor, a musician, or a politician.
Still, real greatness is often hidden, humble, simple, and unobtrusive. It is not easy to trust ourselves and our actions without public affirmation. We must have strong self-confidence combined with deep humility. Some of the greatest works of art and the most important works of peace were created by people who had no need for the limelight. They knew that what they were doing was their call, and they did it with great patience, perseverance, and love.

by Henri Nouwen

Bringing Our Secrets into the Light

We all have our secrets: thoughts, memories, feelings that we keep to ourselves. Often we think, "If people knew what I feel or think, they would not love me." These carefully kept secrets can do us much harm. They can make us feel guilty or ashamed and may lead us to self-rejection, depression, and even suicidal thoughts and actions.
One of the most important things we can do with our secrets is to share them in a safe place, with people we trust. When we have a good way to bring our secrets into the light and can look at them with others, we will quickly discover that we are not alone with our secrets and that our trusting friends will love us more deeply and more intimately than before. Bringing our secrets into the light creates community and inner healing. As a result of sharing secrets, not only will others love us better but we will love ourselves more fully.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Compassion

A good friend of mine said, "Compassion means to do things with passion." It is a definition that has stayed with me to this day.
In my third year at L'Arche Daybreak, a community that welcomes people with disabilities and assistants who desire to share life with them, I learned that a new man was being welcomed to the community and that I would be spending my days with him. Michael was then in the hospital, and I was asked to visit with him. On the way to the hospital, I was nervous; when the elevator arrived at his floor, my nervousness turned to anxiety. I went into his room and saw this very frail young man, visibly uncomfortable. I just stood beside him, and as I grew still I was aware of my compassion for Michael.
When the relationship began all was well; however, the excitement I felt getting to know him waned, and supporting him each day started to take its toll. Michael's frailty made me aware of my own weaknesses. I could feel my heart closing up, which saddened me deeply.
Michael and I shared our days for four years, and during this time a radical shift took place in our relationship. It became evident that Michael was taking on the role of the compassionate one towards me. I have vivid memories of our looking into each other's eyes and with his smile Michael telling me: "You are OK; I still love you." I sensed that he knew I was struggling and was able to accept me with a compassionate heart.
The time came for our lives to take different paths, but what I learned through my relationship with Michael will stay with me. As we both created room for each other, we both were able to give to each other the definition of compassion.

by Lorenzo Sforza-Cesarini

What Is Most Personal Is Most Universal

We like to make a distinction between our private and public lives and say, "Whatever I do in my private life is nobody else's business." But anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.
Jesus says, "No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house" (Matthew 5:14-15). The most inner light is a light for the world. Let's not have "double lives"; let us allow what we live in private to be known in public.

by Henri Nouwen

The Balance Between Closeness and Distance

Intimacy between people requires closeness as well as distance. It is like dancing. Sometimes we are very close, touching each other or holding each other; sometimes we move away from each other and let the space between us become an area where we can freely move.
To keep the right balance between closeness and distance requires hard work, especially since the needs of the partners may be quite different at a given moment. One might desire closeness while the other wants distance. One might want to be held while the other looks for independence. A perfect balance seldom occurs, but the honest and open search for that balance can give birth to a beautiful dance, worthy to behold.

by Henri Nouwen

True Intimacy

Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.
It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.

by Henri Nouwen

Perspective

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Who the Bible is Written For

Soren Kierkegaard once said that reading the Bible is like coming to a street corner and waiting for the traffic to pass before crossing the street. And while you are waiting, you overhear the conversation of the two women in front of you. They are oblivious to your presence, but as they talk, you realize that the conversation is about you. And what they say reveals to you things that you never suspected about yourself.
When I read the Bible in the power of the Holy Spirit, it's just like that. Though it was not written to me, I sense that is was written for me. I don't hear just what the Bible says to people in places long ago and far away. Rather, I feel as though I am overhearing messages that were meant just for me. In my devotional reading of the Scripture, as distinct from my times of study, I feel my soul being opened up to glimpses of Truth that are incredibly personal.

- Tony Campolo in "Following Jesus Without Embarrassing God"

The Nonpossessive Life

To be able to enjoy fully the many good things the world has to offer, we must be detached from them. To be detached does not mean to be indifferent or uninterested. It means to be nonpossessive. Life is a gift to be grateful for and not a property to cling to.
A nonpossessive life is a free life. But such freedom is only possible when we have a deep sense of belonging. To whom then do we belong? We belong to God, and the God to whom we belong has sent us into the world to proclaim in his Name that all of creation is created in and by love and calls us to gratitude and joy. That is what the "detached" life is all about. It is a life in which we are free to offer praise and thanksgiving.

by Henri Nouwen

The Basis of Our Security

What is the basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, connections, insurance, and so on. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may tell us otherwise. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, our anxiety often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things.
A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created things, good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love. We probably will never be completely free from our attachment to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free way, we'd better not belong to it. "You cannot be the slave both of God and of money" (Luke 16:13).

by Henri Nouwen

No Longer Aliens

No [one] desires anything so eagerly as God desires to bring [us] to the knowledge of Himself. God is always ready, but we are very unready. God is near us, but we are far from Him. God is within, and we are without. God is friendly - we are estranged.

- Meister Eckhart

The Barometer of Our Lives

Although the table is a place for intimacy, we all know how easily it can become a place of distance, hostility, and even hatred. Precisely because the table is meant to be an intimate place, it easily becomes the place we experience the absence of intimacy. The table reveals the tensions among us. When husband and wife don't talk to each other, when a child refuses to eat, when brothers and sisters bicker, when there are tense silences, then the table becomes hell, the place we least want to be.
The table is the barometer of family and community life. Let's do everything possible to make the table the place to celebrate intimacy.

- Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Compassion

Let me tell you about heaven! I haven't actually been there, but I did take about thirty children from Saint Andrew's School there last Friday. It was a guided visualization, and the kids' sights and insights were incredible.
We arrived at heaven and I asked: "What do you see?" "Huge, shiny golden gates with angels," said some, while others said "God" or "Jesus" was there to welcome them. We went through the golden gates, and I asked what heaven looked like. "It's so beautiful, filled with really green fields and pools and trampolines and slides." "What do the people look like, and who do you see?" I asked. The answers were almost immediate. "My cousin, my grandparents, my gerbil, my grandmother's brother who died at birth."
I waited about half a minute and said, "I see a very bright light moving toward us. What do you think it is?" Some said it was God and others, Jesus. "He's going to speak," I said. "What does he want to tell us?" "Don't judge people by the colour of their skin; be kind to people; I'm so glad to see you and I wish you could stay longer, but I'll see you at another time."
I explained to the kids that a Jewish text teaches that the manna given by God to the Israelites in the desert tasted like whatever they imagined it to be. "Imagine that it's lunchtime in heaven, what do they serve there?" The answers reflected cultural, ethnic and childhood appetites: "Pizza with pepperoni, lasagna, hot dogs with chili, cotton candy, bacon, sausage and pancakes." Now I was getting hungry!
I asked my tourists to take in a very deep breath, "all the way to the bottom of your toes," and then let it out. "Now, here's the really hard part," I said. "Can you let that big breath out but hold on to the very best scent of heaven?" They did it! I asked them to keep that smell and the sights and tastes in a very special place in their minds and hearts.
I learned that if you ask children the right questions - in a respectful way - they will help you to create heaven on earth.

by Albert M. Lewis

The Intimacy of the Table

The table is one of the most intimate places in our lives. It is there that we give ourselves to one another. When we say, "Take some more, let me serve you another plate, let me pour you another glass, don't be shy, enjoy it," we say a lot more than our words express. We invite our friends to become part of our lives. We want them to be nurtured by the same food and drink that nurture us. We desire communion. That is why a refusal to eat and drink what a host offers is so offensive. It feels like a rejection of an invitation to intimacy.
Strange as it may sound, the table is the place where we want to become food for one another. Every breakfast, lunch, or dinner can become a time of growing communion with one another.

by Henri Nouwen

The Music Of Life

The church has spent so much time inculcating in us the fear of making mistakes that she has made us like ill-taught piano students: we play our songs, but we never really hear them because our main concern is not to make music but to avoid some flub that will get us in dutch.

- Robert Farrar Capon

The Meal That Makes Us Family and Friends

We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another's plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body.
That is why it is so important to "set" the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, "This is a very special time for us, let's enjoy it!"

by Henri Nouwen

Seeing the Beauty and Goodness in Front of Us

We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide. There are trees and flowers to enjoy, paintings and sculptures to admire; most of all there are people who smile, play, and show kindness and gentleness. They are all around us, to be recognized as free gifts to receive in gratitude.
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.

by Henri Nouwen

Celebrating Being Alive

Birthdays are so important. On our birthdays we celebrate being alive. On our birthdays people can say to us, "Thank you for being!" Birthday presents are signs of our families' and friends' joy that we are part of their lives. Little children often look forward to their birthdays for months. Their birthdays are their big days, when they are the center of attention and all their friends come to celebrate.
We should never forget our birthdays or the birthdays of those who are close to us. Birthdays keep us childlike. They remind us that what is important is not what we do or accomplish, not what we have or who we know, but that we are, here and now. On birthdays let us be grateful for the gift of life.

by Henri Nouwen

Words That Create

Words, words, words. Our society is full of words: on billboards, on television screens, in newspapers and books. Words whispered, shouted, and sung. Words that move, dance, and change in size and color. Words that say, "Taste me, smell me, eat me, drink me, sleep with me," but most of all, "buy me." With so many words around us, we quickly say: "Well, they're just words." Thus, words have lost much of their power.
Still, the word has the power to create. When God speaks, God creates. When God says, "Let there be light" (Genesis 1:3), light is. God speaks light. For God, speaking and creating are the same. It is this creative power of the word we need to reclaim. What we say is very important. When we say, "I love you," and say it from the heart, we can give another person new life, new hope, new courage. When we say, "I hate you," we can destroy another person. Let's watch our words.

by Henri Nouwen

Words That Feed Us

When we talk to one another, we often talk about what happened, what we are doing, or what we plan to do. Often we say, "What's up?" and we encourage one another to share the details of our daily lives. But often we want to hear something else. We want to hear, "I've been thinking of you today," or "I missed you," or "I wish you were here," or "I really love you." It is not always easy to say these words, but such words can deepen our bonds with one another.
Telling someone "I love you" in whatever way is always delivering good news. Nobody will respond by saying, "Well, I knew that already, you don't have to say it again"! Words of love and affirmation are like bread. We need them each day, over and over. They keep us alive inside.

by Henri Nouwen

Unable to Fly Free

“Several years ago our family visited Niagara Falls. It was spring, and ice was rushing down the river. As I viewed the large blocks of ice flowing toward the falls, I could see that there were carcasses of dead fish embedded in the ice. Gulls by the score were riding down the river feeding on the fish. As they came to the brink of the falls, their wings would go out, and they would escape from the falls. “I watched one gull which seemed to delay and wondered when it would leave. It was engrossed in the carcass of a fish, and when it finally came to the brink of the falls, out went its powerful wings. The bird flapped and flapped and even lifted the ice out of the water, and I thought it would escape. But it had delayed too long so that its claws had frozen into the ice. The weight of the ice was too great, and the gull plunged into the abyss.”

Dr. George Sweeting

The Real Problem

“What’s wrong with the world?” a newspaper editorial once asked.
G. K. Chesterton wrote in reply, “I am.”

The Last Step

If there are a thousand steps between us and God, God will take all but one. God will leave the final one for us. The choice is ours.

- Max Lucado

A Call to Prayer

We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven. We have been preserved, the many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to God that made us It behooves us, then to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.
- President Abraham Lincoln’s Proclamation for a National Day of Fasting, Humliation and Prayer, April 30, 1863

Repentance

It is not repentance that saves me; repentance is the sign that I realize what God has done in Christ Jesus. The danger is to put the emphasis on the effect instead of on the cause. Is it my obedience that puts me right with God? Never! I am put right with God because prior to all else, Christ died. When I turn to God and by belief accept what God reveals, instantly the stupendous atonement of Jesus Christ rushes me into a right relationship with God. By the miracle of God’s grace I stand justified, not because of anything I have done, but because of what Jesus has done. The salvation of God does not stand on human logic; it stands on the sacrificial death of Jesus. Sinful men and women can be changed into new creatures by the marvelous work of God in Christ Jesus, which is prior to all experience.

- Oswald Chambers

Powerful Prayer

Do you wish your prayer to fly toward God? Give it two wings: fasting and almsgiving
- Saint Augustine -

Healing through Prayer

Richard Foster, in his book entitled Prayer, tells about a man who lived in constant fear and bitterness for twenty-eight years. The man had trouble getting to sleep at night, and when he did sleep he often would wake in a cold sweat, screaming. He had not laughed for many years. One day he told his pastor what had happened that caused such a deep sadness to hang over him. During World War II, he was in charge of thirty-three men. They became trapped by enemy gunfire. With deep sorrow in his eyes, the man told of how he had prayed desperately that God would get them out of that mess. Then, he sent his men out two by two—only to watch them get killed. Finally, he was able to escape with six men. From that experience he felt that God was very far from him. His heart was filled with rage, bitterness, and guilt. His pastor said, "Don't you know that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who lives in the eternal now, can enter that old painful memory and heal it so that it will no longer control you?" Together, the two men prayed that Jesus would go back those twenty-eight years and walk through that day with him. "Please, Lord," the pastor prayed, "Draw out the hurt and the hate and the sorrow and set him free." He asked for peaceful sleep to be one of the evidences of his healing work. The next week this man had a sparkle in his eyes and a brightness on his face. "Every night I have slept soundly and each morning I have awakened with a hymn on my mind," he proudly exclaimed. "And I am happy—happy for the first time in twenty-eight years." He was healed through the power of prayer.

What Prayer is About

Prayer is less about changing the world than it is about changing ourselves

- David J. Wolpe -

A Catalyst for Prayer

My grandmother had prayed first thing in the morning ever since she was a girl. But recently she has been reading the newspaper first, so I asked her if prayer had become less important to her. "Oh, no," she said, "I'm just looking to see what I should pray about.

Prayer

Prayer is the soul of religion, and failure there is not a superficial lack for the supply of which the spiritual life leisurely can wait. Failure in prayer is the loss of religion itself in its inward and dynamic aspect of fellowship with the Eternal.

— Harry Emerson Fosdick

A Greater Gift

Tolstoy, the great Russian writer, was passing along a street one day when a beggar stopped him, pleading for alms. The great Russian searched through his pockets for a coin, but finding none, he regretfully said, "Please don't be angry with me, my brother. I have nothing with me. If I did I would gladly give it to you." The beggar's face lit up, and he said, "You have given me more than I asked for. You have called me brother."

Taken on Trust

World citizen and contagious Christian Terry Waite entitled his autobiography Taken on Trust. In it he recounts his horrendous experience as a hostage in Beirut prisons for 1,763 days, almost four years of which were in solitary confinement. His first cell, underground, was 7 feet by 10 feet. Because he is 6 feet, 7 inches tall, Waite had difficulty standing erect. He learned to sit in a lotus position. Although living in cramped quarters, he made himself walk; some days he estimated seven miles. Day and night were indistinguishable. He was led to the toilet once a day. Early in his "detainment" Terry Waite vowed that his captors would not capture his soul. "Whatever is done to my body, I will fight to the end to keep my inner freedom."
He discovered that fasting increased his spiritual strength. His prayer life was consistent and beautiful. From memory, he would go through the communion service as recorded in the Book of Common Prayer, without the visible sacrament, of course.
This man, who served as envoy for the archbishop of Canterbury for many years and who had personally negotiated hostage releases for six years, had at last become one himself. Painful as was his condition, he accepted and recited his mantra: "No regrets, no sentimentality, no self-pity."

Things Left Behind

"During early childhood I had a fiery temper that often caused me to say or do unkind things. One day, after an argument had sent one of my playmates home in tears, my father told me that for each thoughtless, mean thing I did he would drive a nail into our gatepost. Each time I did a kindness or a good deed, one nail would be withdrawn. Months passed. Each time I entered our gate, I was reminded of the reasons for those ever-increasing nails, until finally, getting them out became a challenge. At last the long- awaited day arrived—only one more nail! As my father withdrew it I danced around proudly exclaiming, 'See, Daddy, the nails are all gone.' Father gazed intently at the post as he thoughtfully replied, 'Yes, the nails are gone—but the scars remain.'"

—Hazel Farris

The Nagging Secret

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his parish priest asked. "Enough to build my own home and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters. And our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."

Tax Returns

A man cheated on his income tax returns for years. His conscience eventually got the best of him; his guilt would keep him awake late into the night. Finally, he sent a letter to the IRS detailing his fraud. He ended the letter by saying, "Enclosed please find $500.00 cash. If I find I am still unable to sleep, I'll send the balance of what I owe. Signed, Anonymous."

The Stumbling Block

A revival meeting being held was showing no signs of success until one evening an elder stood up and said, "Pastor, I don't believe there is going to be revival as long as Brother Jones and I don't speak to each other." He went to Jones and said: "Brother Jones, we have not spoken for five years. Let's bury the hatchet. Here's my hand." And crying broke out in the congregation. Soon another elder rose and said: "Pastor, I've been saying mean things about you behind your back and nice things to your face. I'm asking your forgiveness." Many more members followed suit, confessing their wrongs, and God's presence was felt among them.

— F. B. Meyer