On the Journey Toward Being Vulnerable

Everyone remembers the character Ebenezer Scrooge, from Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol. And what we remember most about him is his being a miser. But Scrooge was much more than a tightwad. He withheld his emotions at least as much as he did his financial riches. We might say he was in an emotional coma, and until a powerful experience reached him, he was miserable inside and out.
Many of us are just a small step ahead of Ebenezer. We give as much as we can of our physical and monetary resources but insufficiently of our emotional selves. Yet the more one's feelings of doubt and insecurity and fear are held in, the more distant one remains from the significant other and from oneself. To be miserly about what's really inside is to maintain a distance that doesn't have to be. It may be difficult to say, "I feel an internal vacuum and I want to fill it because the feeling is very uncomfortable." But making that statement is the beginning of being more fully alive. And if that statement is made to the right person or persons, empathy and closeness may develop.
"When the heart is full," said the Jewish humorist and writer Sholem Aleichem, "the eyes overflow." I know this to be true for both great joy and great sorrow. Why wait until the heart is so full? Be vulnerable. Share yourself with someone you trust, and the ice and snow of countless years will melt away toward a new spring.

- Albert M. Lewis