On The Journey Toward Claiming my Vocation

When I was in my teens, I spent a lot of time sailing with my dad on Lake Ontario. One trip we set out in some rough weather and expected a challenge, but we were met with more than we thought we could handle. The winds became quite heavy, and the waves began to roll high.
Eventually we decided that it was so rough we needed to reduce the sail by putting a reef in. Usually I did the scurrying on deck, but this time my dad decided that he would go up on deck and I would take the tiller. To take the tiller meant to start the motor and head up straight into the wind. This takes the pressure off the sail so that it can be lowered, but it makes the going very rough because instead of riding the waves you crest them.
I immediately regretted letting my dad do the scurrying. When he knelt down to cleet the sheet, the deck would fall away and then come crashing up into his knees with every wave. I was so intent on watching him that I forgot about keeping the boat into the wind, and the sail filled again, which leaned the boat over and almost put my dad in the water. I clearly remember the look on his face. Through the wind and the water, he made eye contact with me and said firmly, "Sheilagh, you need to do what is yours to do - that's it."
I put the boat back up into the wind with my confidence regained. He finished putting in the reef. Then we turned around and brought the boat home.
I often remember that feeling of powerlessness and vulnerability when I look out at the immense need for the Gospel in the world. There are moments when I think, "Surely I ought to drop what I am doing and accomplish something else more effective." What brings me back to security in the value of my vocation is the echo of that moment with my dad, essentially saying, "Stay focused and live your vocation well, then you will be able to trust."

by The Rev. Sheilagh Ashworth