Being Thankful: Before and After

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When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework assignment to write an essay on "something I am thankful for". Then I'd spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in the world that could possibly be; and I'd end up writing down everything I could think of from God to environmental consciousness. But after having children, my priorities have clearly changed:

Before children: I was thankful to have been born the USA, the most powerful free democracy in the world.
After Children: I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes -- which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back seat windows before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.

Before children: I was thankful for the recycling program which will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overloading of landfills.
After children: I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the size of, say, New Jersey, on his bottom.

Before children: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
After children: I am thankful for microwaveable macaroni and cheese -- without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.

Before children: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.
After children: I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being interrupted.

Before children: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
After children: I am thankful for pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to "cause drowsiness" in young children.

Before children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.
After children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.

Before children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
After children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.

Before children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
After children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.

Before children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.
After children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.

Before children: I was thankful for my wonderful family
After children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.