But Peter said, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" At that moment, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter…and Peter went outside and wept.
I related well with the Lord. I would converse with him, thank him, ask for help.
But I always had this uneasy feeling that he wanted me to look at him… And I would not. I would talk, but look away when I sensed he was looking at me. I was afraid I should find an accusation in his eyes of some unrepented sin. Or a demand: something he wanted from me.
One day I summoned up courage and looked! There was no accusation. No demand. The eyes just said, “I love you.”
And, like Peter, I went outside and wept.
From Anthony de Mello, The Song of the Bird
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