A short break

I will be spending the next two months on pilgrimage in Spain, and will not be updating this blog until mid-October. If you wish to follow the journey, I will be blogging here.

Hope Makes a Difference

Hope looks for the good in people instead of harping on the worst in them.
Hope opens doors where despair closes them.
Hope discovers what can be done instead of grumbling about what cannot be done.
Hope draws its power from a deep trust in God and the basic goodness of mankind.
Hope ‘lights a candle’ ‘instead of cursing the darkness’.
Hope regards problems, large or small, as opportunities.
Hope cherishes no illusions, nor does it yield to cynicism.

Ignatius of Loyola...

The sixteenth century mystic, Ignatius of Loyola, said that at the time of his conversion he had no one to turn to for guidance, so the Lord himself taught him the way a schoolmaster teaches a child. He once declared that even if all the scriptures were destroyed, he would hold on to what they revealed because of what the Lord had taught him personally.
Christian:
I have, unfortunately, had a surfeit of people to guide me. They badgered me with their persistent teachings till I could barely hear you through the din. I never thought I could have you for my teacher, for they said, "We are all the teachers you have; he who listens to us, listens to Him."
But I am wrong to blame them or deplore their presence in my life. It is I who am to blame. For I lacked the firmness to silence them; the courage to find out for myself; the patience to wait for your appointed time; and the trust that someday. somewhere, you would break your silence and reveal yourself to me.

from Anthony de Mello The Song of the Bird, pp 196-197

Psalm 23: Antithesis

The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me to deep depression.
It hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity's sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done.
For my "ideal" is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overflows.
Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever

source unknown

An untapped treasure

No one has yet fully realised the wealth of sympathy, kindness, and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.

- Emma Goldman

Into the new

Getting outside of the box can not only be fun, it is sometimes necessary for our survival. That is what survival training is all about. It disrupts our inner programming, the mentality of going through life on 'auto-pilot' so that we can readily see bright new possibilities heading our way.

- Gail Pursell Elliott

The better outcome

If knowing answers to life's questions is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey. You will never make it, for this is a journey of unknowables - of unanswered questions, enigmas, incomprehensibles, and most of all, things unfair.

- Madame Jeanne Guyon

True Religion

It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.

- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Live in Hope

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.

- Barbara Kingsolver

The paradox of our time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
we spend more, but have less;
we buy more, but enjoy it less;
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgement;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less wellbeing
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life;
We've added years to life, not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.
We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
we've split the atom, but not our prejudice;
we have higher incomes, but lower morals;
we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of tall men/women, and short character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or just read and continue on as you were..

source unknown

How To Be Unhappy

• Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them.
• Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first.
• Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything.
• Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.
• Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.
• Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest.
• Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.
• Always compare yourself unfavourably to others. This guarantees instant misery.
• Take personally everything that happens to you.
• Don't give yourself whole-heartily to anyone or anything

Source unknown

And God said ‘No’

I asked God to take away my pride,
And God said, "No." He said it was not for Him to take away,
But for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole,
and God said "No." He said her spirit is whole,
Her body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said "No." He said that patience is a byproduct of tribulation,
It isn't granted, it's earned.
I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said "No." He said He gives blessings,
Happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain,
And God said, "No." He said "Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me."
I asked God to make my spirit grow
And God said, "No." He said I must grow on my own.
But he will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked God to help me love others,
As much as He loves me,
And God said "Ah, finally, you have the idea."

By Claudia Miden Weisz

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologise to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.
But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologised to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, God will use our flaws... In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as God calls each one of us, don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength.

Feel Like Giving Up?

This poem was written by Mother Teresa and is engraved on the wall of her home for children in Calcutta.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

How to promote the absence of God

(some tips from C. S. Lewis)

“Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully. But you’d be safer to stick to the papers. You’ll find the advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or snobbish appeal.

Old Age, I Decided, is a Gift

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.
And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m., and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten . and I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old.
It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here,
I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

Author unknown

Letting Go

To let go is not to care for, but to care about,
To let go is not fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

The Making of Fire - An Arabian Folk Tale

Once there was a man who discovered how to make fire.
This man, named Nour, travelled from one community to another teaching his discovery. Some received the knowledge gladly; others drove him away thinking he must be dangerous before they could learn how valuable fire could be; finally a tribe became so panic-stricken by the fire that they killed him, fearing that he was a demon.
Centuries passed, and a wise man and his disciples passing through the lands discovered that one tribe reserved the secret fire for their priests, who were warm and wealthy while the people froze; another tribe had forgotten the art but worshiped the instruments and the ashes; a third worshiped the image of Nour, who once made the fire, but had forgotten the secret; a fourth retained the story and the method in their legends but noone believed or tried it; a fifth used the fire to cook, to give warmth, and to manufacture all kinds of useful goods, even bronze and iron.
The disciples were amazed at the variety of rituals and said, "But all these procedures are in fact related to the making of fire, nothing else. We should reform these people." The teacher said, "Very well, then. We shall retrace our journey. By the end of it, those who survive will know the real problems in teaching people and how to suggest change."
So the teacher and the disciples attempted to teach as Nour had taught. They too were scorned, abused, driven away. At the end of their journey, the master said, "One must learn how to teach, for no one wants to be taught. First you must teach people that there is still something to be learned. Then you must teach them how to learn. Then you must wait until they are ready to learn. Then you will find that they learn what they imagine is to be learned, not what they really must learn. When you have learned all this, then you can devise a way to teach."

from David Augsburger, Pastoral Counseling Across Cultures

Times of Growth

But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances.

- Vic Johnson

Obstacles

Let a person rejoice when he is confronted with obstacles, for it means that he has reached the end of some particular line of indifference or folly, and is now called upon to summon up all his energy and intelligence in order to extricate himself, and to find a better way; that the powers within him are crying out for greater freedom, for enlarged exercise and scope.

- James Allen

Anger

I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson to conserve my anger, and as heat conserved is transmuted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmuted into a power that can move the world.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Faith

Faith becomes the one wholly inflexible ground for resistance to violence, precisely because it teaches us how to face death—not in excited expectation of reward, but in the sober letting-go of our fantasies in the sure hope that a faithful God holds us firmly in life and death alike. This is the hope that allows us to recognise power for what it is and isn't: As what is given us for the setting-free of each other, not as the satisfying of our passion for control.

- Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.

- William Arthur Ward

A Parable on Management

Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence on what he earned working at the Wal-Mart, but he always dreamed of being rich. “Felix!" he said one day, hit by sudden inspiration, “We're going to be rich! I will teach you to fly!"
Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect. “I can't fly, you twit! I'm a frog, not a canary!"
Clarence, disappointed at the initial response, told Felix: “That negative attitude of yours could be a real problem. I'm sending you to class." So Felix went to a three-day course and learned about problem solving, time management, and effective communication - but nothing about flying.
On the first day of the “flying lessons," Clarence could barely control his excitement (and Felix could barely control his bladder).
Clarence explained that their apartment building had 15 floors, and each day Felix would jump out of a window, starting with the first floor and eventually getting to the top floor.
After each jump, Felix would analyse how well he flew, isolate the most effective flying techniques, and implement the improved process for the next flight. By the time they reached the top floor, Felix would surely be able to fly.
Felix pleaded for his life, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. “He just doesn't understand how important this is," thought Clarence. “He can't see the big picture."
So, with that, Clarence opened the window and threw Felix out. He landed with a thud.
The next day, poised for his second flying lesson, Felix again begged not to be thrown out of the window. Clarence opened his pocket guide to “Managing More Effectively," and showed Felix the part about how one must always expect resistance when introducing new, innovative programs.
With that, he threw Felix out the window - THUD!
On the third day (at the third floor), Felix tried a different ploy: stalling. He asked for a delay in the “project" until better weather would make flying conditions more favourable.
But Clarence was ready for him: He produced a timeline and pointed to the third Milestone and asked. “You don't want to slip up the schedule, do you?"
From his training, Felix knew that not jumping today would only mean that he would have to jump TWICE tomorrow. So he just muttered, “OK, yeeha, let's go." And out the window he went.
Now this is not to say that Felix wasn't trying his best. On the fifth day he flapped his legs madly in a vain attempt at flying. On the sixth day, he tied a small red cape around his neck and tried to think “Superman" thoughts.
It didn't help.
By the seventh day, Felix, accepting his fate, no longer begged for mercy. He simply looked at Clarence and said, “You know you're killing me, don't you?"
Clarence pointed out that Felix's performance so far had been less than exemplary, failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had set for him. With that, Felix said quietly, “Shut up and open the window," and he leaped out, taking careful aim at the large jagged rock by the corner of the building.
And Felix went to that great lily pad in the sky.
Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had failed to meet a single objective that he had set out to accomplish. Felix had not only failed to fly, he hadn't even learned to steer his fall as he dropped like a sack of cement, nor had he heeded Clarence's advice to “Fall smarter, not harder."
The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyse the process and try to determine where it had gone wrong.
After much thought, Clarence smiled and said, “Next time, I'm getting a smarter frog!"

origin unknown

Being Responsible

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

origin unknown

All I Need to know about Life I Learned from Trees

It's important to have roots.
In today's complex world, it pays to branch out.
Don't pine away over old flames.
If you really believe in something, don't be afraid to go out on a limb.
Be flexible so you don't break when a harsh wind blows.
Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow.
If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log.
To be politically correct, don't wear firs.
Grow where you're planted.
It's perfectly okay to be a late bloomer.
Avoid people who would like to cut you down.
Get all spruced up when you are meeting friends.
If the party gets boring, just leaf.
You can't hide your true colours as you approach the autumn of your life.
It's more important to be honest than poplar.

author unknown

A Subtle Difference

To be well informed, one must read quickly a great number of merely instructive books. To be cultivated, one must read slowly and with a lingering appreciation the comparatively few books that have been written by men who lived, thought, and felt with style.

- Aldous Huxley

The Biggest Mistake

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

- Elbert G. Hubbard

The Dangers of "Self-Esteem Résumés"

Note: This illustration could easily be adapted based on details from your own life. When I was at school, my mother kept saying things like, "You know, honey, you ought to join the chess club." I would say, "Mom, I hate chess." "Yes, I know," she would say, "but it will look so good on your college application." She would try again. "Don't they feed the homeless and hungry downtown, every Saturday morning? Why don't you volunteer for that?" "Mom," I'd say, "I hate that kind of thing." I would get the same response, "I know, honey, but it will look so good on your college application." So, at school, I did all kinds of things that I had absolutely no interest in doing for themselves. I was simply putting together a résumé.
That is what our egos are doing all the time. Doing jobs we have no pleasure in, doing diets we take no pleasure in. Doing all kinds of things, not for the pleasure of doing them, but because we are trying to put together an impressive curriculum vitae. By comparing ourselves to other people and trying to make ourselves look better than others, we are …. trying to create a self-esteem résumé because we are desperate to fill our sense of inadequacy and emptiness. The ego is busy. So busy all the time.

Tim Keller, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, (10 Publishing, 2012), pp. 19-20

Life

There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.

- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Friends

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

- Jennie Jerome Churchill (1854-1921) Mother of Winston Churchill

Know Yourself

How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking; always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to. And what is your duty? Whatever the day calls for.

- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749-1832)

Belonging

Give something to the community in one way or another. It doesn't have to be dramatic, it doesn't have to be in the newspapers. But you need to have the satisfaction of knowing you're helping make somebody else's life a little brighter.

- George Bush

A New Adventure

Many live in the ivory tower called reality; they never venture on the open sea of thought.

- Francois Gautier

Excellence

Excellence can be attained if you...
* Care more than others think is wise.
* Risk more than others think is safe.
* Dream more than others think is practical.
* Expect more than others think is possible.

- Jim Gentil

Power

One person with a belief is a social power equal to ninety-nine who have only interests.

- John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

Catalyst for Change

The most powerful thing you can do to change the world is to change your own beliefs about the nature of life, people and reality to something more positive...and begin to act accordingly.

- Shakti Gawain

Enthusiasm

If we seize each opportunity with enthusiasm, someone will surely notice. The "little extra" that is the automatic byproduct of enthusiasm marks the distinction between average and excellence.

- Neil Eskelin

Poetry

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those we have personality and emotion know what it means to want to escape from these things.

- Emily Dickinson

Challenge

When Alexander the Great visited Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for the famed teacher, Diogenes replied: 'Only stand out of my light.' Perhaps some day we shall know how to heighten creativity. Until then, one of the best things we can do for creative men and women is to stand out of their light.

- John W. Gardner

The Finest Hour

I've never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn't appreciate the grind, the discipline... I firmly believe that any man's finest hour - this greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear - is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle, victorious.

- Vince Lombardi

The Beginning of Change

You don't have to change that much for it to make a great deal of difference. A few simple disciplines can have a major impact on how your life works out in the next 90 days, let alone in the next 12 months or the next 3 years.

- Jim Rohn

A Step Forward

We must move beyond tolerance, beyond acceptance, to celebration of our diversity. Only in celebration do we truly embrace the gifts we each are, and empower our own lives with the gifts of others.

- Jim Chandler

Challenge

Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.

- Peter Marshall

Who We Are

The soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body is different.

- Hippocrates, physician (460-c.377 BCE)

Focus

I endeavour to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content when I cannot be mended and patient when there be no redress.

- Elizabeth Montagu

Life

Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort.

- Humphry Davy (1778-1829)

Strength

The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something; whereas the strongest, by dispersing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything.

- Thomas Carlyle

Love

Love that ends is the shadow of love; true love is without beginning or end.

- Hazrat Inayat Khan (1882-1927)

The Stronger Base

A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision.

- Nido Qubein

The Highest Ethic

Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.

- Thomas Edison

The Difference

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't.

- Pete Seeger

Teachers

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.

- William Arthur Ward

Followers

Example has more followers than reason. We unconsciously imitate what pleases us, and approximate to the characters we most admire.

- Christian Nevell Bovee

Moving Forward

No one lives long enough to learn everything they need to learn starting from scratch. To be successful, we absolutely, positively have to find people who have already paid the price to learn the things that we need to learn to achieve our goals.

- Brian Tracy

Mistakes

If you have made mistakes...there is always another chance for you...you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.

- Mary Pickford

The Greatest Masterpiece

To compose our character is our duty, not to compose books, and to win, not battles and provinces, but order and tranquility in our conduct. Our great and glorious masterpiece is to live appropriately. All other things, ruling, hoarding, building, are only little appendages and props, at most.

- Michel Eyquem de Montaign

Character

Character is always lost when a high ideal is sacrificed on the alters of conformity and popularity.

- William Arthur Ward

Security

The search for static security - in the law and elsewhere - is misguided. The fact is security can only be achieved through constant change, adapting old ideas that have outlived their usefulness to current facts.

- William O. Douglas

Success

Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for others.

- Danny Thomas

Fullness of Life

Everything that is full of life loves change, for the characteristic of life is movement toward a new goal, and urges toward new pleasures.

- Fulton J. Sheen (1895-1979)

Life Stages

You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going.

- Jim McQain

Responsibility

One of the annoying things about believing in free choice and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.

- P.J. O'Rourke

Environment

We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.

-William R. Inge, clergyman, scholar, and author (1860-1954)

Possibilities

Men are often capable of greater things than they perform. They are sent into the world with bills of credit, and seldom draw to their full extent.

- Horace Walpole, novelist and essayist (1717-1797)

Happiness

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

- Benjamin Disraeli

Success

You don't have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.

- Sir Edmund Hillary

A Daily Gift

One ought every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.

- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Freedom

Freedom's enemies are waste, lethargy, indifference, immorality, and the insidious attitude of something for nothing.

- William Arthur Ward

New Ideas

A new idea is first condemned as ridiculous and then dismissed as trivial, until finally, it becomes what everybody knows.

- William James (1842-1920)

Work

The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life.

- Charles M. Schwab

Struggle

To have striven, to have made the effort, to have been true to certain ideals - this alone is worth the struggle.

- Sir William Osler

Life Value

When you're in your 90s and looking back, it's not going to be how much money you made or how many awards you've won. It's really "What did you stand for? Did you make a positive difference for people?"

- Elizabeth Dole

Instinct

The instinct of a man is to pursue everything that flies from him, and to fly from all that pursue him.

- Voltaire

Life

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

- Agatha Christie

Identity

There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Connections

Every man, however obscure, however far removed from the general recognition, is one of a group of men impressible for good, and impressible for evil, and it is in the nature of things that he cannot really improve himself without in some degree improving other men.

- Charles Dickens

Wisdom

True wisdom is less presuming than folly. The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance.

- Akhenaton

Leadership

To act and act wisely when the time for action comes, to wait and wait patiently when it is time for repose, put man in accord with the rising and falling tides (of affairs), so that with nature and law at his back, and truth and beneficence as his beacon light, he may accomplish wonders. Ignorance of this law results in periods of unreasoning enthusiasm on the one hand, and depression on the other. Man thus becomes the victim of the tides when he should be their master.

- Helena Petrova Blavatsky

Perspective

Can there be anything worse than blindness? Oh yes...for the most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.

- Helen Keller

Understanding

Understanding a person does not mean condoning; it only means that one does not accuse him as if one were God or a judge placed above him.

- Erich Fromm

The source of greatness

Buried deep within each of us is a spark of greatness, a spark than can be fanned into flames of passion and achievement. That spark is not outside of you it is born deep within you.

- James A. Ray

Engagement

A painter told me that nobody could draw a tree without in some sort becoming a tree; or draw a child by studying the outlines of its form merely...but by watching for a time his motions and plays, the painter enters into his nature and can then draw him.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Search for Truth

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.

- Rene Descartes

Decisions

It isn't really important to decide when you are very young just exactly what you want to become when you grow up. It is much more important to decide on the way you want to live.

- Golda Meir (1898-1978) Israeli Prime Minister

In Whose Image?

If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.

- Voltaire

Paradox

The greater the happiness, the greater could be the sadness. The more exciting the achievement, the more devastating could be the failure. These are the chances we take when we reach for something worthwhile.

- Freddie Mitman

Changing History

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.

- Robert F. Kennedy

The next step

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that talent to the dark place where it leads.

- Erica Jong

Progress

Progress, however, of the best kind, is comparatively slow. Great results cannot be achieved at once; and we must be satisfied to advance in life as we walk, step by step.

- Samuel Smiles

Trivia

Between falsehood and useless truth there is little difference. As gold which he cannot spend will make no man rich, so knowledge which cannot apply will make no man wise.

- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

What is Valued

What people get admired and appreciated for in community are their soft skills: their sense of humour and timing, their ability to listen, their courage and honesty, their capacity for empathy.

- M. Scott Peck

Perspective

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks.

- Phillips Brooks

Understanding

If one is master of one thing and understands one thing well, one has at the same time, insight into and understanding of many things.

- Vincent Van Gogh

Value

No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.

- Barbara De Angelis

Influence

One life stamps and influences another, which in turn stamps and influences another, on and on until the soul of human experience breathes on in generations we'll never even meet.

- Mary Kay Blakely

Doubting Oneself

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

- Alexandre Dumas

Understanding

There are some things you don't have to know how it works - only that it works. While some people are studying the roots, others are picking the fruit. It just depends on which end of this you want to get in on.

- Jim Rohn

Which side of the Ledger?

The Bible gives us a list of human stories on both sides of the ledger. One list of human stories is used as examples - do what these people did. Another list of human stories is used as warnings - don't do what these people did. So if your story ever gets in one of these books, make sure they use it as an example, not a warning.

- Jim Rohn

Perspective

The decent moderation of today will be the least of human things tomorrow. At the time of the Spanish Inquisition, the opinion of good sense and of the good medium was certainly that people ought not to burn too large a number of heretics; extreme and unreasonable opinion obviously demanded that they should burn none at all.

- Maurice Maeterlinck, poet, dramatist, and Nobel laureate (1862-1949)

Creativity

Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.

- Charles Mingus

Giving Honour

If you roll out the red carpet for a billionaire, they won't even notice it. If you roll out the red carpet for a millionaire, they expect it. If you roll out the red carpet for a thousandaire, they appreciate it. If you roll out the red carpet for a hundredaire, they tell everybody they know.

- Patricia Fripp

Identity

How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.

- Stephen Covey

Journeys

The journey to discovery of your strength and your beauty begins as a tiny seed nurtured through the droughts and the harsh winters struggling towards the light to form a single bud which slowly opens its petals to reveal its beauty for the world to gaze in wonder.

Perspective

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

- Charles Swindoll

Choices

Keep in mind that you are always saying 'no' to something. If it isn't to the apparent, urgent things in your life, it is probably to the most fundamental, highly important things. Even when the urgent is good, the good can keep you from your best, keep you from your unique contribution, if you let it.

- Stephen Covey

Putting things in order

To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.

- Confucius

Options

It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.

- Whitney Young, Jr.

The Cost of Quitting

Have you ever considered the cost of quitting? For a real eye opener...ask Thomas Edison...Steve Jobs...Michael Jordan...or Jim Carrey...ask them how much it would have cost them if they had quit...what about you?

- Doug Firebaugh

Your greatest asset

Your decision to be, have and do something out of ordinary entails facing difficulties that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.

- Brian Tracy

Integrity

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?

- Fanny Brice

Greatness

I believe that the first test of a truly great man is his humility. I do not mean by humility, doubt of his own powers. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not in them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful.

- John Ruskin (1819-1900)

The value of boredom

You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think.

- Mortimer Adler

A True Friend

A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.

- William Arthur Ward

Mistakes

When you make a mistake or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as learning experiences, and ridicule as ignorance...Look at rejection as part of one performance, not as a turn down of the performer.

- Denis Waitley

Lest We Forget

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children

- Jimmy Carter

Democracy's Ideal

My idea of democracy is that the weak is improved as much as the strong. Democracy is an impossible thing unless the power is shared by all.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Character

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

- Helen Keller

Capacity

We have not wings we cannot soar; but, we have feet to scale and climb, by slow degrees, by more and more, the cloudy summits of our time.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Wonder

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea , at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.

- Saint Augustine

Love of Neighbour

Love of our neighbour consists of three things: to desire the greater good of everyone, to do what good we can when we can, and to bear, excuse and hide others' faults.

- St. John Vianney

Beginnings

A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit

- D. Elton Trueblood

Life

Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

- George Bernard Shaw

Money

Money, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society.

- Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)

Necessity is the mother of...

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.

- William Pitt, British prime-minister (1759-1806)

My Challenge

I expect to pass through this life but once. If, therefore there can be any kindness I can show or any good thing I can do for any fellow being let me do it now...as I shall not pass this way again.

- William Penn

It is time...

Every now and then, somewhere, some place, sometime, you are going to have to plant your feet, stand firm, and make a point about who you are and what you believe in. When that time comes, Pat, you simply have to do it.

- Lee Riley (father of Pat Riley, NBA coach)

An Epitaph

Someone once asked me what I want on my epitaph when I pass away. Just the words - 'I tried.' That's what this game of life is all about. Trying. There's the tryers, the criers, and the liars.

- Mickey Rooney

Growth and change

The 'Inside-Out' approach to personal and self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self - with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.

- Stephen Covey

Change

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.

- Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

Solitude

Solitude, though it may be silent as light, is like light, the mightiest of agencies; for solitude is essential to man. All men come into this world alone; all leave it alone.

- Thomas De Quincey, writer (1785-1859)

Tragedy or...

Unfortunate events, though potentially a source of anger and despair, have equal potential to be a source of spiritual growth. Whether or not this is the outcome depends on our response

- The Dalai Lama

Joy and struggle

Jesus calls us to recognise that gladness and sadness are never separate, that joy and sorrow really belong together, and that mourning and dancing are part of the same movement. That is why Jesus calls us to be grateful for every moment that we have lived and to claim our unique journey as God’s way to mould our hearts to greater conformity with God’s own. The cross is the main symbol of our faith, and it invites us to find hope where we see pain and to reaffirm the resurrection where we see death. The call to be grateful is a call to trust that every moment of our life can be claimed as the way of the cross that leads us to new life

- Henri Nouwen

A different future

“They have taken the Lord out of his tomb and we do not know where they have laid him,” Mary Magdalene said, and we can say this with her in times of doubt and questioning. Then there’s that last glorious chapter of Saint Luke, where Jesus says, “Why are you so perturbed? Why do questions arise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself. Touch me and see.”
Yes, sometimes it is most surely an exercise of faith for us to see Christ, especially in each other. But it is through such exercise that we grow, and the joy of our calling assures us we are on the right path. Most certainly, it is easier to believe now that the sun warms us, and we know that buds will appear on the sycamore trees in the wasteland across the street, that life will spring out of the dull clods of that littered park. There are wars and rumors of war, poverty and plague, hunger and pain. Still, the sap is rising, again there is the resurrection of spring, God’s continuing promise to us that he is with us always, with his comfort and joy, if we will only ask

- Dorothy Day

Love in the abstract?

It is not love in the abstract that counts. Men have loved a cause as they have loved a woman. They have loved the brotherhood, the workers, the poor, the oppressed – but they have not loved man; they have not loved the least of these. They have not loved “personally.” It is hard to love. It is the hardest thing in the world, naturally speaking. Have you ever read Tolstoy’s Resurrection? He tells of political prisoners in a long prison train, enduring chains and persecution for the love of their brothers, ignoring those same brothers on the long trek to Siberia. It is never the brothers right next to us, but the brothers in the abstract that are easy to love

- Dorothy Day

Resurrection

We pay more attention to dying than to death. We’re more concerned to get over the act of dying than to overcome death. Socrates mastered the art of dying; Christ overcame death as the last enemy. There is a real difference between the two things; the one is within the scope of human possibilities, the other means resurrection

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Salvation begins...

How easy it is to denounce structural injustice, institutionalised violence, social sin! And it is true, this sin is everywhere, but where are the roots of this social sin? In the heart of every human being. Present-day society is a sort of anonymous world in which no one is willing to admit guilt, and everyone is responsible. We are all sinners, and we have all contributed to this massive crime and violence in our country. Salvation begins with the human person, with human dignity, with saving every person from sin

- Oscar Romero

The Greatest Gift

Surrendering to the will of Jesus means becoming one with him and with one another. Jesus fought so hard to surrender his will to the Father’s that he sweated drops of blood. Evil powers surrounded him and tried to cause his downfall, but he remained faithful: his attitude was “Thy will, not my will” (Luke 22:42). This should be our attitude, too, in all questions, even if we are persecuted for our faith. Whatever happens, imprisonment or even death, we should say, “Thy will, not my will.”

- J. Heinrich Arnold

People of the Heart

People with intellectual disabilities are not able to assume important roles of power and of efficacy. They are essentially people of the heart. When they meet others they do not have a hidden agenda for power or for success. Their cry, their fundamental cry, is for a relationship, a meeting heart to heart. It is this meeting that awakens them, opens them up to life, and calls them forth to love in great simplicity, freedom and openness. When those ingrained in a culture of winning and of individual success really meet them, and enter into friendship with them, something amazing and wonderful happens. They too are opened up to love and even to God. They are changed at a very deep level. They are transformed and become more fundamentally human

- Jean Vanier, “More Important Than Winning”

God's Gifts

For God does not give us anything in order that we should enjoy its possession and rest content with it, nor has he ever done so. All the gifts which he has ever granted us in heaven or on earth were made solely in order to be able to give us the one gift, which is himself. With all other gifts he simply wants to prepare us for that gift which is himself. And all the works which God has ever performed in heaven or on earth served solely to perform the one work, that is to sanctify himself so that he can sanctify us. And so I tell you that we should learn to see God in all gifts and works, neither resting content with anything nor becoming attached to anything. For us there can be no attachment to a particular manner of behavior in this life, nor has this ever been right, however successful we may have been.

- Meister Eckhart

Thankfulness

There is no better opportunity to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have. Thanksgiving opens the windows of opportunity for ideas to flow you way.

- Jim Rohn

Finding Life

Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day, and death to your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find him, and with him everything else thrown in

- C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The Crucified God

The symbol of the cross in the church points to the God who was crucified not between two candles on an altar, but between two thieves in the place of the skull, where the outcasts belong, outside the gates of the city. It does not invite thought, but a change of mind. It is a symbol which therefore leads out of the church and out of religious longing into the fellowship of the oppressed and abandoned. On the other hand, it is a symbol which calls the oppressed and godless into the church and through the church into the fellowship of the crucified God.

Jürgen Moltmann, The Crucified God

Blind Spots

Just as the hand, held before the eye, can hide the tallest mountain, so the routine of everyday life can keep us from seeing the vast radiance and the secret wonders that fill the world.

- 18th-century Chasidic saying

Ignorance

The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation.

- Pearl S. Buck

Beginnings

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

- St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)

Beginnings

Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualise not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualising the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.

- Cherie Carter-Scott

Choice

What is the most important thing that you should do right now? It's easy to figure out the answer - the most important thing is usually the item you least want to do. So jump on it. Get it out of the way. Then go on to the next thing you don't want to do and get rid of that item by completing it. You'll be amazed at how it frees your spirit not to have them hanging over you.

- Tom Hopkins

Challenge

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Growth

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.

- George Bernard Shaw

Perspective

Every now and again take a good look at something not made with hands - a mountain, a star, the turn of a stream. There will come to you wisdom and patience and solace and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world.

- Sidney Lovett

Wisdom

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

The Road Less Travelled

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Change

When Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb, he didn't start by trying to improve the candle. He decided that he wanted better light and went from there.

- Wendy Kopp, Founder and president, Teach for America

D-I-Y

Building a deck is NOT as hard as you think! I've watched TV personality Bob Vila do it many times, and he is a regular 'do-it-yourselfer' just like you, except that he has knowledge, skill, an unlimited budget and a large staff of experts.

- Dave Barry

The Power of Speech

Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.

- Norman Vincent Peale

Living in the Moment

If I look back at my first forty years on this planet, and take away all the times I was living in the past or the future, I'd say I really existed for maybe a month.

- Al Franken "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" Dell

Body, Mind and Soul

Treat your body like a temple, not a woodshed. The mind and body work together. Your body needs to be a good support system for the mind and spirit. If you take good care of it, your body can take you wherever you want to go, with the power and strength and energy and vitality you will need to get there.

People

There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.

- Douglas Everett

Living

There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down - until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.

- George Sheehan

Perseverance

When the morning's freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles give under the strain, the climb seems endless, and suddenly nothing will go quite as you wish-it is then that you must not hesitate.

- Dag Hammarskjold

The Workout Diary

For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week with a personal trainer at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started.

Day 1.
They suggest I keep this "exercise diary" to chart my progress this week. Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT.

Day 2.
Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth it. Muscles feel GREAT.

Day 3.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was okay as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse.

Day 4.
Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine. It sank.

Day 5.
I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya I don't have triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage, YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies?

Day 6.
Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel.

Day 7.
Well, that's the week. Thank God that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like free teeth drilling at the dentist's.

Accommodation Problems

A large family, with seven children, moved to a new city. They were having a difficult time finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments were large enough, but the landlords objected to the large family.
After several days of searching, the father asked the mother to take the four younger children to visit the cemetery, while he took the older three to find an apartment. After they had looked most of the morning they found a place that was just right.
Then the landlord asked the usual question: "How many children do you have?" The father answered with a deep sigh, "Seven...but four are with their dear mother in the cemetery." He got the apartment!

Creative Selling

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being swindled." The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"

Changes

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a rather heavy, not too attractive, older lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a beautiful, young woman stepped out. The father, said quietly to his boy, "Quick Son, go get your Mother."

Change

It's easy to come up with new ideas; the hard part is letting go of what worked for you two years ago, but will soon be out of date.

- Roger Von Oech

Character

The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only then do they have to fall back on their reserves.

- Leon Trotsky

Opportunity

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?

- Dame Margot Fonteyn

Holmes and Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."

Feeling Fine

Clyde, a farmer in Alabama, decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.
In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.
"Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'", asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you or did you not say 'I'm fine' at the scene of the accident?"
Clyde said, "Well, yes, but I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule, Bessie."
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, like I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
"About that time a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
"After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
"Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me and said, 'And, how are YOU feeling?'"
(Context is king!)

Some Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

When you like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.
When the parts that have arthritis are the parts where you feel best.
When your favourite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today".
When a big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills.
When your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
When your clothes go into the overnight bag so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.
When your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.
When somebody you consider an old-timer calls you an old-timer.

by George Burns

Progress

All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Value of Work

All labour that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Being Creative With Troublesome Kin

You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:
"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."
Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot.
Next, we rewrite the text:
"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.
Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."
And that's how political spin is created...

Life back in the 1500s

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good in June. However, they were starting to smell a little, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
Baths equalled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons, then the women, then the children, and finally the babies. By then, the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water".
Houses had thatched roofs (thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath). It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets (dogs and cats) and other small animals (mice, rats, and bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained, it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs".
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. So they found if they made beds with big posts and hung a sheet over the top, it remedied the problem. Hence those beautiful big 4 poster beds with canopies.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor". The wealthy had slate floors which would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entry way, hence a "thresh hold".
They cooked in the kitchen in a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They mostly ate vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been in there for a month. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old".
Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon the hang it from the rafters to show it off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could really "bring home the bacon". They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat".
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach into the food. This happened most often with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes - for 400 years.
Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers (a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl). Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers, they would get "trench mouth".
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust".
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination of lead and alcohol would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road could take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait to see if the person would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake".
England is old and small, and they started running out of places to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a house and re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So, they thought they would tie a string on the 'dead' person's wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a "dead ringer".

This material is offered for amusement only. Do not put these tidbits into high-school essays (check here)