Bush-lovers?

This list is circulating among Forest Service employees. These are “actual" comments on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:

• “A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."
• “Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
• “Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to the wilderness."
• “Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."
• “Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."
• “All the mile markers are missing this year."
• “Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
• “Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."
• “Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."
• “Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."
• “The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."
• “Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."
• “Need more signs to inform the people to keep the area pristine."
• “A McDonald's would be nice at the trailhead."
• “The places where trails do not exist are not well-marked."
• “Too many rocks in the mountains."