On the Journey Towards Accepting my Anger

Anger is the one emotion that children are not encouraged to have or express. When children laugh or cry, they receive sympathy and encouragement from their parents. Not so with anger. Children are disciplined for expressing anger, manipulated out of feeling it, or sent to their rooms because of it. They learn that there is a place for all their other emotions but that anger is dangerous. Of course, children who are not encouraged to show anger appropriately become adults who don't trust their anger. I have spent much of my life learning to befriend my anger.
Some time ago, I was giving a retreat for women on prayer, and after talking for a couple of sessions, I told a story meant as an aside. When I am angry with my kids, I will often pray, silently, "Go before me, Lord!" while thinking, "Lord, you had better get there before I do". This story led to many conversations and prayer times about retreatants' fear of their anger and the power that unresolved anger has in our lives, so much so that the theme of our next retreat was "learning to come to terms with our anger".
My little story had tapped into a desire to increase our understanding of our anger. Sharing our need to acknowledge and befriend our anger in the context of prayer and spiritual friendship can help us heal our distrust of this uncomfortable emotion. Then we can be healthy ourselves and create healthy homes.

- Sheilagh Ashworth