On The Journey Toward Claiming Leadership

I live in a L'Arche community - a community centered on the needs and gifts of people with intellectual disabilities. Leadership is an important element of our community culture. We have a Leadership Team that is responsible for the management of our homes and programs. Every home and program has a leader. We send people to learn about leadership development. We know that leaders are essential for our community life.
For core members, the people with intellectual disabilities at the heart of our community, it is often very important that leadership roles be clearly held. They want to know who is responsible for the house they live in, who is the boss at their workplace, who is on the Community Council, and who is the leader of the community. Core members can also be transparent about their desire to carry leadership: they take pride in cooking a nice dinner, saying grace before a meal, leading a house meeting, making a candle, or participating in a liturgy. They recognize that it is possible to offer leadership in many ways, and they look for these opportunities.
Several years ago we welcomed Mary Cosby from Church of the Saviour in Washington, D.C., to lead our community in a retreat. I will never forget when she shared her experience and belief that "we are each leaders at the place of our gift. We are each followers at the place of gift in the other." When our claim of leadership is grounded in a belief in and acceptance of our gifts, our relationships thrive and our communities flourish.

- Carl MacMillan

Wiser Than Men

Children, who play life, discern its true law and relations more clearly than grown men and women, who fail to live it worthily, but who think they are wiser by experience, that is, by failure.

- Henry David Thoreau

Choosing Life

God says, "I am offering you life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life, then, so that you and your descendants may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19).
"Choose life." That's God's call for us, and there is not a moment in which we do not have to make that choice. Life and death are always before us. In our imaginations, our thoughts, our words, our gestures, our actions ... even in our nonactions. This choice for life starts in a deep interior place. Underneath very life-affirming behaviour I can still harbour death-thoughts and death-feelings. The most important question is not "Do I kill?" but "Do I carry a blessing in my heart or a curse?" The bullet that kills is only the final instrument of the hatred that began being nurtured in the heart long before the gun was picked up.

- Henri Nouwen

Sharing The Good News

Christians who can't or won't share their faith with others may be in a crisis of faith of their own. The question is whether they believe in the efficacy of the Gospel - the Gospel which justified so that we don't need to earn our status before God or vie for position with others; the gospel which gives shape and purpose to live, making us other-directed rather than self-centered; the gospel of peace which reconciles broken relationships and builds community; the gospel of justice which advocates for the poor and the marginalized. This is good news. So how can one keep from sharing it?

- from the Leadership Network, first published in "Christian Century", 11/20/02

The Companionship of the Dead

As we grow older we have more and more people to remember, people who have died before us. It is very important to remember those who have loved us and those we have loved. Remembering them means letting their spirits inspire us in our daily lives. They can become part of our spiritual communities and gently help us as we make decisions on our journeys. Parents, spouses, children, and friends can become true spiritual companions after they have died. Sometimes they can become even more intimate to us after death than when they were with us in life.
Remembering the dead is choosing their ongoing companionship.

- Henri Nouwen

Breaking the Spell

Without being forgiven, released from the consequences of what we have done, our capacity to act would, as it were, be confined to a single deed from which we could never recover; we would remain the victims of its consequences forever, not unlike the sorcerer's apprentice who lacked the magic formula to break the spell.

- Hannah Arendt

A Grateful Death

When we think about death, we often think about what will happen to us after we have died. But it is more important to think about what will happen to those we leave behind. The way we die has a deep and lasting effect on those who stay alive. It will be easier for our family and friends to remember us with joy and peace if we have said a grateful good-bye than if we die with bitter and disillusioned hearts.
The greatest gift we can offer our families and friends is the gift of gratitude. Gratitude sets them free to continue their lives without bitterness or self-recrimination.

- Henri Nouwen

Being Ready to Die

Death often happens suddenly. A car accident, a plane crash, a fatal fight, a war, a flood, and so on. When we feel healthy and full of energy, we do not think much about our deaths. Still, death might come very unexpectedly.
How can we be prepared to die? By not having any unfinished relational business. The question is: Have I forgiven those who have hurt me and asked forgiveness from those I have hurt? When I feel at peace with all the people I live with, my death might cause great grief, but it will not cause guilt or anger.
When we are ready to die at any moment, we also are ready to live at any moment.

- Henri Nouwen

The Lunch Date

The following is a synopsis of a 10-minute movie that won an Academy Award in the short film category one year...
An older woman, smartly dressed, checking the clock in Grand Central Station. She finds her ticket in her purse only to discover that her wallet has been stolen. First scared and then annoyed, she scrounges for a few bills in the bottom of her purse, finds the cafeteria, buys a cobb salad, settles into her booth with her lunch, then she realizes she forgot her fork.
So she leaves her packages and salad to return only to find a very large, disheveled man in her booth eating her lunch. She is indignant. But he doesn't seem to notice. Determined, she sits down at the table, picks up her fork and stabs at the salad; he does the same, each taking a turn till they're done. Finally the man leaves, only to return again with coffee, two cups of coffee, and they end their meal in polite silence. He is the first to leave.
She looks at her watch; it's time for her to catch her train. She reaches for her packages and discovers they're gone!! - And then her eye wanders to the next booth, where her packages sit along with her cobb salad, untouched!
I wonder how many times I've been forgiven; I wonder how many times I've been forgiven and not even known that I needed to be.

Remembering the Dead

When we lose a dear friend, someone we have loved deeply, we are left with a grief that can paralyse us emotionally for a long time. People we love become part of us. Our thinking, feeling and acting are codetermined by them: Our fathers, our mothers, our husbands, our wives, our lovers, our children, our friends ... they are all living in our hearts. When they die a part of us has to die too. That is what grief is about: It is that slow and painful departure of someone who has become an intimate part of us. When Christmas, the new year, a birthday or anniversary comes, we feel deeply the absence of our beloved companion. We sometimes have to live at least a whole year before our hearts have fully said good-bye and the pain of our grief recedes. But as we let go of them they become part of our "members" and as we "re-member" them, they become our guides on our spiritual journey.

- Henri Nouwen

Impractical, Immoral

Violence as a way of achieving justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love. It destroys community and makes brotherhood impossible. It leaves society in monologue rather than dialogue. Violence ends by defeating itself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love and the Pain of Leaving

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies ... the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.

- Henri Nouwen

Tears - The Jewels Of Remembrance

The death of a dear one is the most profound of all sorrows. The grief that comes with such a loss is intense and multifaceted, affecting our emotions, our bodies and our lives. Grief is preoccupying and depleting. Emotionally, grief is a mixture of raw feelings such as sorrow, anguish, anger, regret, longing, fear, and deprivation. Grief may be experienced physically as exhaustion, emptiness, tension, sleeplessness, or loss of appetite. 'Grief invades our daily lives in many sudden gaps and changes, like that empty place at the dinner table, or the sudden loss of affection and companionship, as well as in the many new apprehensions, adjustments, and uncertainties. The loss of a dear one throws every aspect of our lives out of balance. The closer we were to the person who died, the more havoc the loss creates. Love does not die quickly. Hence to grieve is also 'to celebrate the depth of the union. Tears are then the jewels of remembrance, sad but glistening with the beauty of the past. So grief in its bitterness marks the end ... but it also is praise to the one who is gone.'

- Judy Tatelbaum in "The Courage to Grieve"

A Great Thing?

You don’t believe my words now, but you’ll come to it yourself... Suffering is a great thing.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Parents' Grief

Many parents have to suffer the death of a child, at birth or at a very young age. There probably is no greater suffering than losing a child, since it so radically interferes with the desire of a father and mother to see their child grow up to be a beautiful, healthy, mature, and loving person. The great danger is that the death of a child will take away the parents' desire to live. It requires an enormous act of faith on the part of parents to truly believe that their children, however brief their lives, were given to them as a gift from God, to deepen and enrich their own lives.
Whenever parents can make that leap of faith, their children's short lives can become fruitful far beyond their expectations.

- Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Toward Claiming Leadership

Recently I was asked to give a series of reflections on leadership around the United States and one of the major points that I made was that if we call ourselves disciples of Jesus, then we are leaders. Right out of the gate we are stating that we stand for something that is countercultural, prophetic and challenging. Challenging indeed!
To be sure, our claim to leadership is an awareness that grows through our life experiences. I have moments when I feel I am a great leader. Those moments are fleeting, though, as more often than not, what I think has been good leadership comes under someone else's critical eye and I'm called to reflect again. Perhaps more than being an outward expression to others, true leadership is in the daily faithfulness and sometimes anguish of trying to live an authentic life.
My journey towards claiming leadership is now more a grappling with interior effort than an exterior effort. I still work to share my gifts in leading and guiding others but always knowing profoundly that I can give away only what I have become. If I continue to look deeply within, with the desire to become more authentic, then I know that my outward leadership will be a positive sign for others. The greatest leaders I have known have been women and men who have understood that weakness and frailty are essential experiences on the way to spiritual maturity. Leadership flows from this journey like a river.

Victoria S. Schmidt

Harmony And Proportion

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen

- Leonardo Da Vinci

Pie in the Sky

Long-haired preachers come out every night,
Try to tell you what's wrong and what's right;
But when asked how 'bout something to eat
They will answer with voices so sweet:
You will eat, bye and bye,
In that glorious land above the sky;
Work and pray, live on hay,
You'll get pie in the sky when you die.

- Joe Hill

The Calling Of God

What is the calling of God? In every life, calling may manifest itself in a different way, but the result will be the same. God's calling does not allow us to separate the sacred from the secular. We have one life to live for Him in every aspect of existence. The calling of God challenges us to bring Him into our most mundane activities, breathing life into our smallest tasks, and giving power to our greatest challenges.

- Stephen Arterburn in "The Power Book"

The Quality of Life

It is very hard to accept an early death. When friends die who are seventy, eighty, or ninety years old, we may be in deep grief and miss them very much, but we are grateful that they had long lives. But when a teenager, a young adult, or a person at the height of his or her career dies, we feel a protest rising from our hearts: "Why? Why so soon? Why so young? It is unfair."
But far more important than our quantity of years is the quality of our lives. Jesus died young. St. Francis died young. St. Thèrëse of Lisieux died young, Martin Luther King, Jr., died young. We do not know how long we will live, but this not knowing calls us to live every day, every week, every year of our lives to its fullest potential.

- Henri Nouwen

The Lake Isle of Innisfree

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

- William Butler Yeats

Growing Out Of The Heart

"The fruit of the Spirit," which is in those who live in Christ's Spirit, "is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). An old legend tells of people who came wanting to buy the fruit of the Spirit. They were told, "We don't sell the fruit; we sell the seeds." Indeed, these traits of the holy life are not forced, not strived for, certainly not bought. Rather, they grow out of the believer's heart. They grow out of the indwelling presence of Jesus, the promised Holy Spirit.

- U.M. Bishop Richard Wilke in "DISCIPLE: Becoming Disciples Through Bible Study"

Living Our Passages Well

Death is a passage to new life. That sounds very beautiful, but few of us desire to make this passage. It might be helpful to realise that our final passage is preceded by many earlier passages. When we are born we make a passage from life in the womb to life in the family. When we go to school we make a passage from life in the family to life in the larger community. When we get married we make a passage from a life with many options to a life committed to one person. When we retire we make a passage from a life of clearly defined work to a life asking for new creativity and wisdom.
Each of these passages is a death leading to new life. When we live these passages well, we are becoming more prepared for our final passage.

- Henri Nouwen

Whoever Has Love

When someone is driven by love in any way, he or she is driven by Christ. Whoever has love, has the love of God, even if he or she does not confess Christ in words. There is a hidden Christ; he is much too great to be confined by human thought.

- Eberhard Arnold

Taking the Sting Out of Death

Dying is returning home. But even though we have been told this many times by many people, we seldom desire to return home. We prefer to stay where we are. We know what we have; we do not know what we will get. Even the most appealing images of the afterlife cannot take away the fear of dying. We cling to life, even when our relationships are difficult, our economic circumstances harsh, and our health quite poor.
Still, Jesus came to take the sting out of death and to help us gradually realise that we don't have to be afraid of death, since death leads us to the place where the deepest desires of our hearts will be satisfied. It is not easy for us to truly believe that, but every little gesture of trust will bring us closer to this truth.

- Henri Nouwen

Who's To Choose?

To whom does God offer His gift? To the brightest? The most beautiful or the most charming? No. His gift is for us all...
And He wants us so badly, He'll take us in any condition - "as is" reads the tag on our collars. He's not about to wait for us to reach perfection (He knows we'll never get there!). Do you think He's waiting for us to overcome all temptations? Hardly. When we master the Christian walk? Far from it. Remember, Christ died for us when we were still sinners. His sacrifice, then, was not dependent on our performance.
He wants us now. And He'll do whatever it takes to bring His children home. Christ's love has no strings, no expectations, no hidden agendas, no secrets. His love for us is up front and clear. "I love you," He says. Even if you let Me down. I love you in spite of your failures." Why did God choose you? Why did He choose me? Honestly. Why? What do we have that He needs?...
The answer is at once simple and profound. He chose you because He wanted to. After all, you are His. He made you. He brought you home. He owns you. And if you've never heard Him assuring you of that simple fact, be reminded by the words on this page. Let these words resonate in your heart: the God who created you loves you. He made the ultimate sacrifice because of you. No, God doesn't need you. He wants you. So, what do we do with this gift? What does it have to do with our daily existence?
It has everything to do with it. Our task on earth is singular -- to choose our eternal home. You can afford many wrong choices in life. You can choose the wrong career and survive, the wrong city and survive, the wrong house and survive. You can even choose the wrong mate and survive. But there is one choice that must be made correctly and that is your eternal destiny.

- Max Lucado in "The Gift for All People"

The Subject Of The Bible

Come to the Bible, not to study the history of God's divine action, but to be its object; not to learn what it has achieved throughout the centuries and still does, but simply to be the subject of its operation.

- Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751)

Happy Are They

One of the first things Christ says in the Gospel is this: "Happy the simple-hearted!" Yes, happy those who head towards simplicity, simplicity of heart and simplicity of life.
A simple heart attempts to live in the present moment, to welcome each day as God’s today… Simplifying our life enables us to share with the least fortunate, in order to alleviate suffering where there is disease, poverty, famine…
Where can we find the simplicity indispensable for living out the Gospel? Some words of Christ enlighten us. One day he said to his disciples, "Let the little children come to me; the realities of God are for those who are like them."
And so we would like to say to God: "God, you love us: turn us into people who are humble; give us great simplicity in our prayer, in human relationships, in welcoming others."

- Brother Roger of Taizé

Meeting God in the Poor

When we are not afraid to confess our own poverty, we will be able to be with other people in theirs. The Christ who lives in our own poverty recognises the Christ who lives in other people's. Just as we are inclined to ignore our own poverty, we are inclined to ignore others'. We prefer not to see people who are destitute, we do not like to look at people who are deformed or disabled, we avoid talking about people's pains and sorrows, we stay away from brokenness, helplessness, and neediness.
By this avoidance we might lose touch with the people through whom God is manifested to us. But when we have discovered God in our own poverty, we will lose our fear of the poor and go to them to meet God.

- Henri Nouwen

The Treasure of the Poor

The poor have a treasure to offer precisely because they cannot return our favours. By not paying us for what we have done for them, they call us to inner freedom, selflessness, generosity, and true care. Jesus says: "When you have a party, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; then you will be blessed, for they have no means to repay you and so you will be repaid when the upright rise again" (Luke 14:13-14).
The repayment Jesus speaks about is spiritual. It is the joy, peace, and love of God that we so much desire. This is what the poor give us, not only in the afterlife but already here and now.

- Henri Nouwen

Our Poverty, God's Dwelling Place

How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich? Poverty has many forms. We have to ask ourselves: "What is my poverty?" Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence? Each human being has a place of poverty. That's the place where God wants to dwell! "How blessed are the poor," Jesus says (Matthew 5:3). This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.
We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it. Let's dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden.

- Henri Nouwen