On The Journey Toward Claiming my Vocation

This past Christmas Eve was such a blessed experience for me. I have created a custom of cooking a traditional Italian fish dinner and sharing it with the L'Arche home to which I'm connected. I love fussing over the shopping and preparation of the meal, the table settings and ambiance. It is a celebration of some of the best things that I have inherited - love of good food and family, hospitality, doing for others, faith. After dinner, I went to the children's mass at Our Lady of Lourdes. As the rows of pageant angels walked up the aisle, I was aware of the love of family and friends, certainty about who I am and am called to be, and God's love for her people in all our beauty and goofiness.
If my plans as a young person had come to pass, my life would have been wasted. I longed to be the person I thought I must be in order to be loved. I felt that I ought to be emotionally strong, deeply serious about building the Kingdom, a man of prayer... It almost killed me.
I still struggle to live the life of a committed Christian. I am grateful that there are strong, committed individuals out there. We need them. But I too am needed. I am sometimes strong, sometimes messy. I do care about people and community, even if I am often lazy and self-centred. I can pray with depth of gratitude and then forget God for days on end. Through it all, God seems to love me as I am - sometimes that nourishes growth! Thank God.

- John Guido