Smiles Breaking Through Tears

Dying is a gradual diminishing and final vanishing over the horizon of life. When we watch a sailboat leaving port and moving toward the horizon, it becomes smaller and smaller until we can no longer see it. But we must trust that someone is standing on a faraway shore seeing that same sailboat become larger and larger until it reaches its new harbor. Death is a painful loss. When we return to our homes after a burial, our hearts are in grief. But when we think about the One standing at the other shore eagerly waiting to welcome our beloved friend into a new home, a smile can break through our tears.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Responsibility

It's easy to break the word responsibility down into its parts, 'ability to respond.' But to see how we can live that out takes attention to the people and teachings in our lives.
Frank, a friend of mine with Down syndrome, put me straight about my ability to respond when he heard me bad-mouthing Paul. He said, "If you want to help Paul, you have to love him!"
My eldest sister, Joan, demonstrated another type of ability to respond. After losses of friends, income, and health, at age eighty-four she moved from California to Canada to be closer to family. Unable to bring her car, she learned the subway. Unaccustomed to winter, she bought cold-weather clothes. Then she joined a church, a bridge club, the library, and the art gallery, where she made new friends and established a whole new life.
Look at the two great commandments - love God, and love your neighbour as yourself - as priorities in becoming a responsible human being. And see how Jesus lived them out (Luke 6:12-19): "Jesus went onto the mountain to pray and spent the whole night in prayer to God." Presenting ourselves to receive and give love to God in prayer is first.
"When day came he summoned his disciples and picked twelve of them." Belonging to families and communities that teach us self-love in truth and humility, with compassion and forgiveness, is second.
"He came down with them and stopped . . . where a large gathering of people had come to be cured of their diseases... Power went out from him and cured them all." In communion with God and others, we walk amidst pain in the world and respond with compassion.

by Sue Mosteller

The Meaning Of Easter

Easter never fails us. Even in the worst of times, amidst destruction, death and despair, Easter arrives as surely as daybreak, boldly proclaiming the message of renewal and hope.
...Biblical accounts of the first Easter Sunday have proven to be a powerful source of inspiration and transformation. The world was never the same again. The blood stained linen wrappings and the empty tomb ushered in a radically different era of brave new beginnings. The message of love, faith and hope still resonates across the globe [in the midst of world tragedies].
Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said in "The Brothers Karamazov": "Without God, everything becomes permissible." But Easter declares: "With God, everything becomes possible." That means hope - hope that transcends our limitations and triumphs over our worst fears. Easter epitomizes the kind of tragic optimism that cannot be crushed by all the forces of darkness, including death. This is the true meaning of Easter!

- Paul T. P. Wong, Ph.D., C.Psych., Trinity Western University

The Autumn of Life

The autumn leaves can dazzle us with their magnificent colors: deep red, purple, yellow, gold, bronze, in countless variations and combinations. Then, shortly after having shown their unspeakable beauty, they fall to the ground and die. The barren trees remind us that winter is near. Likewise, the autumn of life has the potential to be very colorful: wisdom, humor, care, patience, and joy may bloom splendidly just before we fall to the ground and die.
As we look at the barren trees and remember our dead, let us be grateful for the beauty we saw in them and wait hopefully for a new spring.

by Henri Nouwen

Resurrection Power

"God will raise our bodies from the dead by His marvelous power, just as He raised our Lord from the dead." (Ephesians 6:14 NLT)
Think about the greatest manifestation of power you could witness. Perhaps a hurricane or tornado came to mind, maybe an earthquake or an atomic bomb. I read about something more powerful than any of these. On May 18, 1980, there was an incredible explosion, estimated at 500 times the force of the atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima. The blast ripped 1,200 feet off the top of a 9,700-foot volcano name Mount Saint Helens. Within one minute a cloud of ash blocked out the sin. Sports Illustrated reported that the "heat, blast and ash destroyed 26 lakes, 154 miles of resident trout streams and 195 square acres of wildlife habitat."
That display of raw power is impressive. However, the Bible tells us that the presence of our God could make not only Mount Saint Helens crumble but also all the mountains known on earth. The psalmist wrote, "The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth" (Psalm 97:5, NLT). God is an awesome and powerful God, Creator of both heaven and earth. Ephesians teaches us that the greatest manifestation of God's power was not for destruction but for the resurrection of Christ from the dead!

- Lenya Heitzig and Penny Pierce Rose in "Pathway to God's Treasure: Ephesians"

Where Mourning and Dancing Touch Each Other

"[There is] a time for mourning, a time for dancing" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). But mourning and dancing are never fully separated. Their "times" do not necessarily follow each other. In fact, their "times" may become one "time." Mourning may turn into dancing and dancing into mourning without showing a clear point where one ends and the other starts.
Often our grief allows us to choreograph our dance while our dance creates the space for our grief. We lose a beloved friend, and in the midst of our tears we discover an unknown joy. We celebrate a success, and in the midst of the party we feel deep sadness. Mourning and dancing, grief and laughter, sadness and gladness - they belong together as the sad-faced clown and the happy-faced clown, who make us both cry and laugh. Let's trust that the beauty of our lives becomes visible where mourning and dancing touch each other.

by Henri Nouwen

Living Faithfully in an Ambiguous World

Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in nature colours and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.
It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities. We have to learn to make wise choices without needing to be entirely sure.

by Henri Nouwen

The Saturday Obituary Of Jesus Of Nazareth

Jesus Christ, 33, of Nazareth, died Friday on Mount Calvary, also known as Golgotha, the place of the skull. Betrayed by the apostle Judas, Jesus was crucified by the Romans, by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate. The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture, and loss of blood.
Jesus Christ, a descendant of Abraham, was a member of the house of David. He was the son of the late Joseph, a carpenter of Nazareth, and Mary, his devoted Mother. Jesus was born in a stable in the city of Bethlehem, Judea. Humble beginnings for one who, at the time of his death, was labeled "King of the Jews". He is survived by his mother Mary, his brothers including James, John the beloved, his other faithful disciples, and many other followers. It was thought that Peter would be one of his staunchest supporters, but he denied Jesus, not once but three times.
Jesus was self educated and spent most of his adult life working as a carpenter and later a teacher. Jesus also occasionally worked as a medical doctor and it is reported that he healed many patients. Up until the time of his death, Jesus was teaching and sharing his Good News, healing the sick, touching the lonely, feeding the hungry, and helping the poor.
Jesus was most noted for telling parables about his Father's Kingdom and performing miracles, such as feeding over 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish, and healing a man who was born blind. On Thursday, the night before his death, he held a last supper celebrating the Passover Feast, at which he reportedly washed his disciples feet and foretold his death.
The body was quickly buried in a stone grave, which was donated by Joseph of Arimathea, a loyal friend of the family. By order of Pontius Pilate, a boulder was rolled in front of the tomb. Roman soldiers were put on guard and remain there today.
In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that everyone try to live as Jesus did. Donations may be sent to anyone in need.
Jesus Christ had such a promising ministry. It is too bad it had to end this way.

author unknown

Becoming Friends of Our Children

Can fathers and mothers become friends of their children? Many children leave their parents to find freedom and independence and return to them only occasionally. When they return they often feel like children again and therefore do not want to stay long. Many parents worry about children's well-being after they have left home. When their children visit they want to be caring parents again.
But a mother can also become the daughter of her daughter and a father the son of his son. A mother can become the daughter of her son and a father the son of his daughter. Father and mother become brother and sister of their own children, and they all can become friends. It doesn't happen often, but when it does happen it is as beautiful to watch as the dawn of a new day.

– Henri Nouwen

Ransomed And Forgiven

Christ came to earth for one reason: to give His life as a ransom for you, for me, for all of us. He sacrificed Himself to give us a second chance. He would have gone to any lengths to do so. And He did. He went to the cross, where man's utter despair collided with God's unbending grace. And in that moment when God's great gift was complete, the compassionate Christ showed the world the cost of His gift...
He who was perfect gave that perfect record to us, and our imperfect record was given to Him. Jesus was "not guilty, but He suffered for those who are guilty to bring you to God" (1 Peter 3:18). As a result, God's holiness is honored and His children are forgiven.

- Max Lucado in "The Gift for All People"

Friendship in the Twilight Zones of Our Heart

There is a twilight zone in our own hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves - our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and drives - large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness.
This is a very good thing. We always will remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility but also to a deep trust in those who love us. It is in the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.

by Henri Nouwen

Workaholics 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my foreman, I shall not rest.
He makes me mow down the green pastures.
He leads me to generators beside rapid waters.
He wears out my soul.
He shoves me to conferences for my schedule's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of relaxation,
I fear no chance of rest;
For my feelings of guilt, They haunt me.
Thou dost prepare a work table before me.
In the presence of my comrades.
Thou has filled my mind with worry;
My workload overflows.
Surely busyness and pressure will follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will run to and fro
In the house of the Lord forever.

by Edward J. Vasicek

Sharing Our Solitude

A friend is more than a therapist or a confessor, even though a friend can sometimes heal us and offer us God's forgiveness.
A friend is that other person with whom we can share our solitude, our silence, and our prayer. A friend is that other person with whom we can look at a tree and say, "Isn't that beautiful," or sit on the beach and silently watch the sun disappear under the horizon. With a friend we don't have to say or do something special. With a friend we can be still and know that God is there with both of us.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Responsibility

There is an old Hasidic saying that people should carefully observe which way their hearts draw them, and then choose that way with all their strength. I have come to appreciate the wisdom of this advice as I learn to be a good parent. Raising a family carries responsibilities that I used to think were beyond my handling. But as my wife, Clara, and I bring up three children under the age of four, I am realizing that I can best influence them in a positive way when I connect to them from the places of my own passion and strength. I have discovered the joys of co-creating stories with my son and sharing language and rhythm with my daughters.
For instance, I can engage my son's imagination and persuade him to choose to eat that plate of beans as I tell a story about Salvador and the Bean Eating Giant. Storytelling does not absolve me from learning good parenting techniques, but I am grateful I have discovered a personal approach that connects with my son and daughters.
Raising our children seems possible to the extent I ask for and am open to support from family and friends, surrender to God's strength and love, and remember the tools that have helped me handle earlier obligations in my life. I see that my passions and enthusiasms are gifts to share with my family and resources with which to live out my responsibilities.

by Tim Greenwood

Great Sorrow

I love the story of a little girl named Ruth, who was sent on an errand by her mother. She was gone for such a long time that her mother became frantic with worry. When Ruth finally returned, her mother hugged her tightly, asking, "Where have you been? What took you so long?"
Ruth replied, "On my way home I saw Sally sitting in front of her house. She was crying because her doll was broken."
"So," said the mother, "you stopped to help her fix her doll?"
"Oh no!" replied Ruth, "I stopped to help her cry."
Jesus said, "The greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends" (John 15:13, NLT). He saw that our sins caused great sorrow, so He stopped and shed not tears, but His blood, for our sins.

- Lenya Heitzig and Penny Pierce Rose in Pathway to God's Treasure: Ephesians

The Healing Touch

Touch, yes, touch, speaks the wordless words of love. We receive so much touch when we are babies and so little when we are adults. Still, in friendship touch often gives more life than words. A friend's hand stroking our back, a friend's arms resting on our shoulder, a friend's fingers wiping our tears away, a friend's lips kissing our forehead - these are true consolation. These moments of touch are truly sacred. They restore, they reconcile, they reassure, they forgive, they heal.
Everyone who touched Jesus and everyone whom Jesus touched were healed. God's love and power went out from him (see Luke 6:19). When a friend touches us with free, nonpossessive love, it is God's incarnate love that touches us and God's power that heals us.

by Henri Nouwen

Seven Last Statements

Christ made His love for the world passionately evident in these last statements from the cross...
"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Do you realize that you are in need of the Father's forgiveness?
"Today you will be with Me in Paradise." Have you realized and confessed Jesus as your personal Saviour?
"Woman, behold your son." Jesus is concerned and provides for all of us.
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" Jesus was forsaken so we don't have to be.
"I thirst!" This personal statement reminds us that Jesus is not only God, but He also was man. Jesus identifies with our needs.
"It is finished." Our sin is paid for and sin's control over our lives is broken!
"Into Your hands I commit My spirit." You can entrust your life to God's hands.

- Greg Laurie in "Why the Passion?"

Forever Worthy

Dear God,
I have sinned
Against Heaven
And against You.
I am no longer worthy to be called Your child.

Child,
I know... I know...
But My Son
Is forever worthy
To be called Your Saviour.

- Ruth Harms Calkin in "Lord, You Love to Say Yes"

The Ways to Self-knowledge

"Know yourself" is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn't mean to analyse ourselves. Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it might be helpful to explore in some detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can ever completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others.
Solitude, silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred center, where God dwells. That sacred center may not be analysed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.

by Henri Nouwen

Don't Blame It On The Twinkies!

"If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong doing." (1 John 1:9 NLT)
To confess means to own up to the fact that our behaviour wasn't just the result of bad parenting, poor genes, jealous siblings, or a chemical imbalance from too many Twinkies. Any or all of those factors may be involved. Human behaviour is a complex thing. But confession means saying that somewhere in the mix was a choice, and the choice was made by us, and it does not need to be excused, explained, or even understood. The choice needs to be forgiven. The slate has to be wiped clean.

- John Ortberg in "The Life You've Always Wanted"

Claiming the Sacredness of Our Being

Are we friends with ourselves? Do we love who we are? These are important questions because we cannot develop good friendships with others unless we have befriended ourselves.
How then do we befriend ourselves? We have to start by acknowledging the truth of ourselves. We are beautiful but also limited, rich but also poor, generous but also worried about our security. Yet beyond all that we are people with souls, sparks of the divine. To acknowledge the truth of ourselves is to claim the sacredness of our being, without fully understanding it. Our deepest being escapes our own mental or emotional grasp. But when we trust that our souls are embraced by a loving God, we can befriend ourselves and reach out to others in loving relationships.

by Henri Nouwen

A Still Place in the Market

"Be still and acknowledge that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). These are words to take with us in our busy lives. We may think about stillness in contrast to our noisy world. But perhaps we can go further and keep an inner stillness even while we carry on business, teach, work in construction, make music, or organise meetings.
It is important to keep a still place in the "marketplace." This still place is where God can dwell and speak to us. It also is the place from where we can speak in a healing way to all the people we meet in our busy days. Without that still space we start spinning. We become driven people, running all over the place without much direction. But with that stillness God can be our gentle guide in everything we think, say, or do.

by Henri Nouwen

Are You In The Will?

Have you dreamed about inheriting treasures from a long lost relative? To be "in the will" would change your life forever! Consider the rags-to-riches story of Jack Wurm. In 1949, Mr. Wurm was unemployed and bankrupt. As he strolled along a San Francisco beach, he found a bottle with a scroll inside. He discovered that this "message in a bottle" was the last will and testament of Daisy Singer Alexander, heiress to the Singer Sewing Company fortune.
The faded paper read: "To avoid confusion, I leave my entire estate to the lucky person who finds this bottle, and to my attorney, Barry Cohen; share and share alike." The courts discovered that she had written the note and thrown the bottle into the Thames River in London. It had drifted across the oceans to San Francisco and reached a penniless Jack Wurm. Jack inherited over $6 million in cash and Singer stock.
Similarly, God has sent us a "message in a Bible." Within this book you'll find the "last will and testament of our Lord" with a different kind of inheritance - spiritual treasures. How will you respond? Will you walk past it? Or, like Jack Wurm, will you step out in faith and take action? Failure to take God's promises seriously leads to spiritual poverty. Jack's inheritance can't begin to compare with the spiritual wealth God offers His heirs!

- Lenya Heitzig and Penny Pierce Rose in "Pathway to God's Treasure: Ephesians"

Coming Together in Poverty

There are many forms of poverty: economic poverty, physical poverty, emotional poverty, mental poverty, and spiritual poverty. As long as we relate primarily to each other's wealth, health, stability, intelligence, and soul strength, we cannot develop true community. Community is not a talent show in which we dazzle the world with our combined gifts. Community is the place where our poverty is acknowledged and accepted, not as something we have to learn to cope with as best as we can but as a true source of new life.
Living community in whatever form - family, parish, twelve-step program, or intentional community - challenges us to come together at the place of our poverty, believing that there we can reveal our richness.

by Henri Nouwen

The Infinite Value of Life

Some people live long lives, some die very young. Is a long life better than a short life? What truly counts is not the length of our lives but their quality. Jesus was in his early thirties when he was killed. Thérése de Lisieux was in her twenties when she died. Anne Frank was a teenager when she lost her life. But their short lives continue to bear fruit long after their deaths.
A long life is a blessing when it is well lived and leads to gratitude, wisdom, and sanctity. But some people can live truly full lives even when their years are few. As we see so many young people die of cancer and AIDS let us do everything possible to show our friends that, though their lives may be short, they are of infinite value.

by Henri M Nouwen

God's Work of Art

One of the great works of art in the Western world is Michelangelo's Pietà, a marble statue of an anguished Mary holding the crucified Christ. Some years ago a fanatic nationalist rushed upon the masterpiece and began smashing it with a sledgehammer. Although the damage was significant, Vatican artists were able to restore the statue to near-perfect condition.
You were created to be a masterpiece of God. Paul writes, "For we are God's poiema" - a word that can mean God's "workmanship," or even God's "work of art." God made you to know oneness with Him and with other human beings. God made you to be co-regent with Him - to "fill the earth and subdue it," to "have dominion" over creation under His reign and with His help. It is the goodness of God's work in creating us that makes our fallenness so tragic. This is why my disappointment in myself runs so deep.
But God is determined to overcome the defacing of His image in us. His plan is not simply to repair most of our brokenness. He wants to make us new creatures. So the story of the human race is not just one of universal disappointment, but one of inextinguishable hope.

- John Ortberg in "The Life You've Always Wanted "

Lovingly Engraved

Novelist Reynolds Price said there is one sentence all humankind craves to hear: "The Maker of all things loves and wants me." That is the sentence Jesus proclaimed, loud as sweet thunder. The Maker of all things is the Maker of all human beings, an odd species that He, unfathomably, deemed worthy of individual attention and love. He demonstrated that love in person, on the gnarly hills of Palestine, and ultimately on the cross.
What the prophets spoke about, Jesus lived. "I have engraved you on the palms of My hands," God said in Isaiah's day. When He visited earth in the form of a Servant, He showed that the hand of God is not too big for the smallest person in the world. It is a hand engraved with our individual names and engraved also with wounds, the cost to God of loving us so much.

- Philip Yancey in "The Bible Jesus Read"

Not Breaking the Bruised Reeds

Some of us tend to do away with things that are slightly damaged. Instead of repairing them we say: "Well, I don't have time to fix it, I might as well throw it in the garbage can and buy a new one." Often we also treat people this way. We say: "Well, he has a problem with drinking; well, she is quite depressed; well, they have mismanaged their business... we'd better not take the risk of working with them." When we dismiss people out of hand because of their apparent woundedness, we stunt their lives by ignoring their gifts, which are often buried in their wounds.
We all are bruised reeds, whether our bruises are visible or not. The compassionate life is the life in which we believe that strength is hidden in weakness and that true community is a fellowship of the weak.

by Henri Nouwen

The Virtue of Flexibility

Trees look strong compared with the wild reeds in the field. But when the storm comes the trees are uprooted, whereas the wild reeds, while moved back and forth by the wind, remain rooted and are standing up again when the storm has calmed down.
Flexibility is a great virtue. When we cling to our own positions and are not willing to let our hearts be moved back and forth a little by the ideas or actions of others, we may easily be broken. Being like wild reeds does not mean being wishy-washy. It means moving a little with the winds of the time while remaining solidly anchored in the ground. A humorless, intense, opinionated rigidity about current issues might cause these issues to break our spirits and make us bitter people. Let's be flexible while being deeply rooted.

by Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Responsibility

Responsibility is one of those words whose meaning changes over time. When we're children, responsibility is an achievement to be celebrated. As adults, responsibility might not look so appealing. It smacks of burden, obligation, being tied down. It seems obvious to consider that responsibility is about response - the ability to respond - but what might not seem so obvious is that responsibility is an attitude of the heart. What does it mean to have a responsive heart? It means being open to our own emotions and needs, receiving the pain and joy of others, and giving something of ourselves in return.
As a therapist, I have seen that many people struggle deeply with responsibility (response-ability). The thought of truly responding to our own deepest longings and the needs of others is frightening and overwhelming. One person I work with feels that if others need anything from her she will be consumed, wiped out by the other's request for her to respond. For that reason, everything that happens to her must be someone else's responsibility. And of course, she cannot allow herself to have any needs either, as this might wipe out the other who has to respond to her.
When we fear responsibility, we become isolated, afraid to really connect to the other who needs us, or the parts of ourselves that are weak or vulnerable. It's true that responsibility carries risk - risk that we will be unappreciated, or left heart-broken. But at the same time, when we are responsible we are alive; we are responding, not just passively letting life happen to us. The God who created us in the divine image might be thought of as "the one who responds." To take responsibility is to grow up in the Spirit and claim the life that we have been given. It's worth the risk.

by Lisa M. Cataldo

Hurry Sickness

Meyer Friedman defines hurry sickness as "above all, a continuous struggle and unremitting attempt to accomplish or achieve more and more things or participate in more and more events in less and less time, frequently in the face of opposition, real or imagined, from other persons."
Though our age intensifies "hurry sickness," it's not a new problem; people in ministry have been subject to it at least since the days of Jesus. During one hectic season of ministry, Mark notes of the disciples, "For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat."
Far too many [Christians] think of this as a life verse, as if God will reward the hectic one day with, "What a life you had! Many were coming and going, and you had no leisure even to eat. Well done!"
Not quite. Jesus was aware of this problem, and He constantly withdrew from crowds and activities. He taught the same to His followers. In one instance, when they returned from a busy time of ministry, filled with adrenaline, He told them, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while."
If you want to follow someone, you can't go faster than the one who is leading; following Jesus cannot be done at a sprint. Jesus was often busy but He was never hurried. Being busy is an outer condition; being hurried is a sickness of the soul. Jesus never went about the busyness of His ministry in a way that severed the life-giving connection between Himself and His Father.
He never did it in a way that interfered with His ability to give love when that was what was called for. He observed a regular rhythm of withdrawal from activity, for solitude and prayer. He ruthlessly eliminated hurry from his life.

- John Ortberg