Saturday, May 05, 2007

Computer Sales Jargon

New: Different colour from previous design.
All new: Parts not interchangeable with previous design.
Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.
Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
Here at last!: Rush job; nobody knew it was coming.
Years of development: We finally got one that works.
Unprecedented performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.
Microprocessor controlled: Does things we can't explain.
For those who are computer literate, find the true meaning of the computer acronyms while for those who feel that computer acronyms are GREEK to them, here is the translation ...
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defective Operating System
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
RISC Reduced Into Silly Code

No comments: