Those Were The Days

When I were a lad, me mother would send me down to t' corner shop wi' a shilling, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a turkey, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now. Too many security cameras!

The Sensitivity Of Seniors

This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal's office in West Geelong after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.
This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward this to anyone you know who might need a lift today.
Dear Lions Bay School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West Geelong Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.
The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.
She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed that I could tell her to **** off.
Thank you for that wonderful opportunity.
God bless you all.
Sincerely,
Edna

Community: Dead Man Sitting

In October 2005, an elderly man passed away while sitting in his parked car in Melbourne, Australia. He remained that way for several days before his body was found and identified by city officials.
After the man's death, however, and two days before the discovery of his body, a police officer gave him a parking ticket and attached it to the windshield of his car.
The head of the Maroondah City Council later apologized for the incident, saying: "It must be just so sad for the family, and we extend our sincere sympathies to them." He added, "It is simply a case of the parking officer not noticing."

Source: ABCNewsOnline (21 October 2005)

David and Goliath - from the NASB [New Aussie Strine Bible]

Now the Anzacs stood on a mountain on one side of the valley, and the enemy stood on the other side. The enemy had a great lump of a bloke called Goliath, who was over nine feet tall. He had a skid lid of solid brass on his noggin, armour all over him, and his spear must have weighed a ton.
Goliath stood and yelled out, “Come on and fight ya mob of dingoes! Pick out a bloke and let's see what he's made of! If he can bump me off, we'll be your rouseabouts, and vice versa." This really scared the living daylights out of the Anzacs. It put the wind up 'em good and proper. “If only we had Ned Kelly here with his armour on," they said. Even the Prime Minister was spooked out of his brain.
Now Dave was the youngest son of Jesse, from a small one-horse town out the back of Bourke. Jesse had eight rascals, and was over the hill and just about ready to kick the bucket. The three oldest boys were diggers in the army, but Dave worked for his old man as a sheep musterer. One day, Jesse said to Dave, “Come here, kid, and take this heap of tucker to your brothers in the army. Give a bit to the C.O. as well, so he'll give your brothers a fair go. Now stop muckin' around and get cracking. I haven't got all day."
So Dave got up when the day was a pup, picked up his swag, and headed off to see his brothers. It took so long he had to stop for smoko on the way. He boiled the billy and had a good cuppa. Meanwhile, the Anzacs were up the creek in a barbed wire canoe. They were so despetate, the Prime Minister even offered his daughter in marriage to the first bloke who would take on the big yobbo, and she was quite a sheila! Also, they would get a pile of dough into the bargain - that was a bit of alright! But still, no-one wanted to have a go.
When Dave found one of his brothers, he said, “G'day, mate! How ya goin?" They then told Dave what Goliath had said. Dave then asked, “Who does this great nong think he is? Just let me have a go at that ratbag. I'll let him have it!" Dave's oldest brother Trev, really chucked a mental. He did his block! “What are ya?" he said. “Who do you think you are, you little squirt! You'd better stop shooting your mouth off, or you'll come a cropper good and proper."
"Strike a light!" said Dave. “Don't jump down me throat!"
"You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag, you little twerp," said Trev.
"I reckon I could," replied Dave.
When Dave's second oldest brother, Norm, heard what Dave was saying, he laughed his head off, and said, “Stone the crows, Dave, what do you think this is - bush week?"
Dave's third brother, Fred, couldn't see anything funny in it at all. He just looked at Dave like he'd gone fair round the bend, and said, “why don't you go back to the bush where you belong?"
"Fair go, replied Dave, why don't you give me a break!" Then he took off yelling over his shoulder, “You no-hopers wouldn't know what day of the week it was!"
Dave then went to se the P.M., and told him he would give it a go. The P.M. said, “You've got two chances of killing that greasy giant - Buckley's and none."
"Oh, I dunno," said Dave, “The Lord my God helped me kill a dingo and a bunyip with my bare hands. I reckon He could help me do this oversized galah like a dinner."
When the P.M. saw that Dave was fair dinkum, he finally gave in and tried to give Dave a great stack of armour. Dave could hardly walk with it on. “This is hopeless," he said, “I'll fix him without all this garbage. She'll be right, mate."
Then Dave walked out to meet Goliath, carrying only his shanghai. When Goliath saw him, he nearly laughed his head off, saying, “What do you think I am kid, a puppy dog or something? Take one step closer and you'll get the biggest knuckle sandwich You've ever seen. I'll have you for breakfast, ya numb skull."
"Come off the grass." Dave yelled back at him, “Just because You've got a head like a hub cap you think you're a big wheel. Well I've got news for you, buster, and it's all bad! I'm coming against you in the name of the Lord."
As Goliath ran to meet him, Dave quickly popped a gibber into his shanghai, and slung it at Goliath. It went like a rocket, and got him fair in the scone.
"Howzat! !" shouted the Anzacs with one voice.
Goliath went out like a light and carked it. Dave ran over, took out the giant's sword, and lopped off his noggin.
"You little ripper!" all the diggers yelled. They ran down the side of the mountain shouting, “Good on ya, matie," and singing “Come on Aussie come on."
Later on, the P.M. asked his off sider who Dave was and where he came from. His reply was that Dave came from the other side of the black stump, where the crows fly backwards to keep the dust out of their eyes. The P.M shook his head and said, “What a bottler!"

source unknown

Running For Your Life

I have survived the Noosa triathlon and can finally move again with relative ease. Monday was a bit of a shocker with sore bits that have never been sore before and a nasty sunburnt back adding to the joy of it all but bygones to that I say.
The race was fantastic and the support of the crowd just awesome. There were dramas aplenty 48 hours prior to my leaving being told I may have had a stress fracture in my foot by a sports Dr and that I was on the cusp of withdrawing. Bone scans and x-rays later I'm saying to him “drugs thank you darling, give me drugs" and he did. No problems. Then on the way to the airport my bike decides to become airborne on the Tullamarine freeway at 100km and I'm staring at $700 of bike and accessories bouncing merrily along just waiting to be collected by a semi. This didn't happen and I got her put back together in Noosa. I figure with this build up I've got to make it through.
The swim was in a canal and luckily it snaked around a corner so I couldn't have heart palpitations as I saw how far 1.5km actually was. 30, 50m swimming pools lined up end to end is tough to envision. Being the slow poke that I am I had about 6 waves of competitors swimming past and over me but I managed to not get kicked in the head, well not too hard at least. The 40km bike ride had an impressive 3km hill in it, the little devil. Quite a challenge but all these spinning classes with Alex - the Queen of Hills had me well prepared for the challenge. Onwards I climbed chatting away to people who passed me. Just out on a relaxing bike ride I kept telling myself, la de dah, embrace the hills, embrace the hills. Folks, don't underestimate the power of denial and delusion.
The best part of the ride was when I got to enjoy the benefits of the “what goes up must come down" theory and I flew down a whopping great hill at the 30km point even letting out a “whoo hoooooooo" (very un-triathlete of me I know). I should have just stuck a card onto my spokes with a peg and really made the ride worthwhile. I had a chick pass me a little bit after the hill, I had passed her at the top of it (I remember this clearly as the incidents of me passing anyone were few indeed!) and she yelled at me “Girl, you have no fear. You're unreal!" I then ate her dust. More bygones.
The first 2 km of the 10 km run was the worst part of the race for me. The lactic acid in my legs after being on the bike for 90 mins was just a treat and I had to run past the grandstand and past the endless stream of triathletes coming in from their run as I was starting mine. Man they looked hammered and it put the fear into me for sure. I ended up walking for about 5 minutes and getting my psychological self together. It was about 25 degrees and humid and you just can't get prepared for this in Melbourne during training. I then got it sorted and ran the next 8km well and happy. The final 2km of the race was amazing with so many of the triathletes having finished up ages ago and were going home. They were walking past me on either side as I was finishing the run and everyone was clapping and yelling encouragement to me. The finish line appeared as I ran over the bridge and I have never seen such a beautiful sight in all my life. I had envisioned the moment in training at least every Sunday for 5 months but nothing comes close to the feeling of getting over it and still feeling well.
So all up I came stone cold motherless last in the Noosa triathlon which is the second biggest triathlon in the world. Dawn Fraser handed out the awards for God's sake! Individually there were people who did longer swims, bike and run legs than me I'm happy to say. Hey at least I'm consistently slow. You just have to love a sport though that sees you come last yet still allows you to take out 3rd place in your category and win a $75 gift voucher.
Thanks everyone for your support and patience with me over the past 5 months as you've heard ad nauseam about this. Given I couldn't run 400m without 4 breaks this time last year to say I am incredibly proud of this achievement is an understatement. Trust me when I say there were tears aplenty with my coach in the transition area after it all. Relief, elation, joy, pride, awe and disbelief for me as well. Loving life. xx Torn

source unknown

Still Thinking – The Centre Knows

Two years ago Anne and I spent a week travelling through central Australia from Alice Springs, through Kings Canyon to Uluru. Since that time I have become convinced that this great rock, almost in the centre of Australia, holds some great truth about our place in the world.  It was the American poet Robert Frost who wrote the words, “we dance around the ring and suppose; but the secret sits in the centre and knows.”  As Australians we, by and large, cling to the fertile coastline.  Most of our population lives in six cities, all on the coast.  So from this place of relative comfort we turn our backs to the centre and gaze toward the ocean’s horizon. And while the edge and the circle can sustain us, it is only by turning to the centre that we can find that which nourishes our souls.

I use this metaphor deliberately because after spending an afternoon with Dr Parker Palmer at his home in Madison Wisconsin, I am aware that it is only by living our lives around the spiritual centre that we will truly be filled with the richness that life in God offers.  Perhaps that is just stating the obvious, and yet for whatever reasons we as individuals, communities and societies, often miss the possibilities we could have if we lived both from and into that life giving centre.

Some would say that if we all just worshiped God and believed in Jesus then we would have the centre we need.  But that approaches too easily collapses into religiosity and theological games.  Rather it is the “God beyond god” that we really seek.  That may not make a lot of sense to some, but it is an attempt to move from idolatry, where an image, idea or institution is central and worshipped to a mystery that speaks its wordless truth to all of us.

James Hollis in his insightful book, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally Grow Up, says that a person or a culture cannot “create” a mystery it is only glimpsed, encountered and felt.  It is the ineffable “More” of life – not a riddle to be solved, but a wordless surplus of meaning to be experienced.  And at its most authentic it is an inner experience at the centre of one’s being.

Parker Palmer has given us a great gift through his development of the Circles of Trust.  He explained in our conversation that much of our lives are spent talking to the person next to us and seldom do we gaze into the centre, that open space filled with meaning and possibility and even silence.  But at the same time it is necessary to note that Parker’s approach is not merely a form of personal development or self-actualization.  It finds its truest expression in the world in which we act with care, compassion and justice, as the circle ever widens.

There is a sign at the bottom of Uluru that asks people to respect this sacred place by not climbing the rock – it is not enforced so many do climb it.  The sign ends with these words from an aboriginal elder, which I paraphrase, “What’s with you whitefellas, why do you always need to get to the top of everything? Why not just walk around the rock and let it speak its truth to you?”

Christopher Page

Dance and Smell the Flowers Occasionally

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.
How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?
I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favourite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because Australians cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches... We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now... go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to... not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift... Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.
Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, But by the moments that take our breath away.

source unknown

Statistics

Some statistics from a recent presentation on health issues of Australian 13-24 year olds.
Births to teenage mothers
Year Married Not-married
1971..... 20,281..... 9,951
1981 ......7,736.... 10,076
1991 ..... 2,593 ... 12,048
2001 .....1,110 .... 10,706
(Married numbers in above table do not include de facto relationships)
In South Australia in the period 1995/99, 53.8% of all teenage pregnancies were terminated (not all states publish data on induced abortions).
A study in Queensland in 2003 indicated that more than 10% of year 10/11 females self harmed in the last 12 months.
In 1997, around 13% of 13-17 year olds were diagnosed with mental health problems.
In 1997, around 27% of 18-24 year olds suffered from some form of mental health problem.
In 1999, 10.7% of females and 2.9% of males aged 18-24 suffered from affective mental disorders (depression, mania, dysthymia, hypomania, bipolar affective disorder).
In 2003, it was estimated that 100,000 children and adolescents in Australia suffered from depression.
In 2003, around 20,000 prescriptions for anti-depressants were issued per month to people under 19.

Australian Statistics

If Australia were a village of 100 people, there would be 49 males and 51 females…

who were born in

Australia....................... 77

Asia/Middle East........... 7

Britain/Ireland............... 6

Europe.......................... 6

New Zealand................ 2

Elsewhere..................... 2

Who are

Married........................ 51

Unmarried..................... 32

Separated/Divorced...... 11

Widowed...................... 6

And Speak

English.......................... 84

Italian............................ 2

Greek........................... 1

Cantonese..................... 1

Arabic.......................... 1

Vietnamese................... 1

Other............................ 10

Whose religion is

Christian....................... 68

Atheistic/Agnostic......... 15

Buddhist....................... 2

Muslim.......................... 1.5

Hindu/Jewish/Other....... 0.5

Unknown...................... 13

Who earn weekly

No income.................... 6

Less than $200............. 21

$200-$400................... 21

$401-$600................... 16

$601-$800................... 11

$801-$1000................. 7

$1001-$1500............... 7

More than $1501.......... 4

Unknown...................... 7

And live with

A family........................ 81

Friends......................... 10

No one......................... 9

And live in a

House........................... 81

Flat/Unit........................ 9

Terrace House.............. 7

Caravan........................ 1

In a home that is

Fully Owned................. 42

Mortgaged.................... 28

Rented.......................... 28

Other............................ 2

Badly Fed

"Do Not Feed The Dingoes" This sign is posted in Ormiston National Park. Most tourist probably think it's there to protect humans. The thought being, 'if you're close enough to feed a dingo you could be in a position of real danger.' Not True! The sign is posted to protect the dingoes. Each autumn, when the feeding tourists have long since departed, the park service must carry off the remains of dead dingoes who became so dependent on tourists that they were no longer able to gather food for themselves. We can become like the Ormiston Dingoes if we depend on others to spiritually feed us. Each day we must gather spiritual nutrients for ourselves from God and His Word.

Communication Australian style

There is something about us Australians that prefers to communicate in silences rather than words. Perhaps we are defeated by it all, tongue-tied in the presence of ultimate things. Perhaps we feel safer with the great things left unsaid, meaning them only in the silence: we, the inarticulate, offering our homage to the ineffable. Ultimate truths are not to be captured in any expression. They are not the exclusive possession of anyone; nor are they merely to be taken on anyone's authority. For someone to really know these things is to keep a decent reserve, to hold what is sacred in silence.

- Tony Kelly, A New Imagining

Sorry Day Prayer

Today the Australian Government makes an apology to the Stolen Generations. This prayer was written for Sorry Day, reflecting concern for the plight of Indigenous Australians.

Almighty and loving God, you who created ALL people in your image,
Lead us to seek your compassion as we listen to the stories of our past.
You gave your only Son, Jesus, who died and rose again so that sins will be forgiven.
We place before you the pain and anguish of dispossession of land, language, lore, culture and family kinship that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples have experienced.
We live in faith that all people will rise from the depths of despair and hopelessness.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families have endured the pain and loss of loved ones, through the separation of children from their families.
We are sorry and ask God's forgiveness.
Touch the hearts of the broken, homeless and inflicted and heal their spirits.
In your mercy and compassion walk with us as we continue our journey of healing to create a future that is just and equitable.
Lord, you are our hope.
Amen.

Truth

In order to be truthful
We must do more than speak the truth.
We must also hear the truth.
We must also receive truth.
We must also act upon truth.
We must also search for truth.
The difficult truth.
Within us and around us.
We must devote ourselves to truth.
Otherwise we are dishonest
And our lives are mistaken.
God grant us the strength and the courage
To be truthful.
Amen.

From The Prayer Tree
by Michael Leunig

Another Way of Being

Dear God, we pray for another way of being: another way of knowing.
Across the difficult terrain of our existence we have attempted to build a highway and in so doing have lost our footpath. God lead us to our footpath: Lead us there where in simplicity we may move at the speed of natural creatures and feel the earth's love beneath our feet. Lead us there where step-by-step we may feel the movement of creation in our hearts. And lead us there where side-by-side we may feel the embrace of the common soul. Nothing can be loved at speed. God lead us to the slow path; to the joyous insights of the pilgrim; another way of knowing: another way of being. Amen.

from Leunig, The Prayer Tree

Food waste

Research suggests Australians are wasting at least $700 million a year on ditched fresh fruit and vegetables. Most households claimed to throw out more than $100 worth of spoiled produce a year. Busy families that buy then throw out fruit and vegetables because they have no time to cook are big culprits, but working couples with no children are the waste generation ringleaders. Older people on tight budgets were least likely to let food go bad. Food Science Australia experts said correct refrigeration temperature and proper storage kept food in good condition, warded off poisonous bacteria, and cut waste.

Herald Sun February 1, 2002

New Year’s Thoughts

"...If we believe that God has come then of necessity we will believe that God will come (forever comes!). This belief should radically change the way we live our lives. We will not say 'it does not matter', for, because Christ comes, everything matters.
* Because Christ comes, we will not leave until tomorrow that which we should do today.
* Because Christ comes, we will be careful over what we do, preparation is worthwhile.
* Because Christ comes, we will leave space for surprises, we will allow our lives to be filled with awe and wonder.
* Because Christ comes, we will believe in a future for the young, that they might believe in one too.
* Because Christ comes, we will look at each other with anticipation and respect, for fear that he may come disguised as our own familiar friend.
"Living with hope is arguably the greatest gift that the Christian community can bring to the world. We all know that hopelessness is the great 'dis-ease' of our time. As we prepare ..., may it be our personal resolve to live a life of hope..."
- George Browning, Anglican Bishop of Canberra and Goulburn

"Do Not Feed The Dingoes"

This sign is posted in Ormiston National Park. Most tourist probably think it's there to protect humans. The thought being, 'if you're close enough to feed a dingo you could be in a position of real danger.' Not True! The sign is posted to protect the dingoes. Each autumn, when the feeding tourists have long since departed, the park service must carry off the remains of dead dingoes who became so dependent on tourists that they were no longer able to gather food for themselves. We can become like the Ormiston Dingoes if we depend on others to spiritually feed us. Each day we must gather spiritual nutrients for ourselves from God and His Word.

Make Census to you?

A man was sitting on his porch, when someone walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand. "What can I do for you?" he politely asked. "You selling something?"
No, sir, I'm not. I'm a Census Taker."
"A what?"
"A Census Taker. We're trying to find out how many people are in Australia."
"You're wasting your time here. I have no idea."

A Thirst for Knowledge

God be with those who explore in the cause of understanding; whose search takes them far from what is familiar and comfortable and leads them into danger or terrifying loneliness. Let us try to understand their sometimes strange or difficult ways; their confronting or unusual language; the uncommon life of their emotions, for they have been affected and shaped and changed by their struggle at the frontiers of a wild darkness, just as we may be affected, shaped and changed by the insights they bring back to us. Bless them with strength and peace.

from Leunig, The Prayer Tree

Sorry Day Prayer

Almighty and loving God, you who created ALL people in your image,
Lead us to seek your compassion as we listen to the stories of our past.
You gave your only Son, Jesus, who died and rose again so that sins will be forgiven.
We place before you the pain and anguish of dispossession of land, language, lore, culture and family kinship that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples have experienced.
We live in faith that all people will rise from the depths of despair and hopelessness.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families have endured the pain and loss of loved ones, through the separation of children from their families.
We are sorry and ask God's forgiveness.
Touch the hearts of the broken, homeless and inflicted and heal their spirits.
In your mercy and compassion walk with us as we continue our journey of healing to create a future that is just and equitable.
Lord, you are our hope.
Amen.

Aboriginal and Islander Commission
National Council of Churches in Australia. 2002

NOTE: SORRY DAY is commemorated this day each year in recognition of past injustices carried out on Indigenous People in Australia and their continuing impact today