Clinging To Illusions

[In the book "Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life" by Sidney and Suzanne Simon], the Simons say that one reason we often find it hard to forgive is because we are too attached to our illusions. They say that there are several key illusions that we cling to when we choose not to forgive.
First, we cling to the illusion that if the bad thing that happened to us hadn't happened, then our lives would be perfect. Of course, no life is perfect. But if we are angry and can't forgive something, we can live with the illusion that our life would be perfect if the bad thing hadn't happened.
Secondly, we cling to the illusion that we are all good, and the person we can't forgive is all bad. You see, if we forgive, we have to give up this black and white illusion and sometimes acknowledge that we are the ones in need of forgiveness.
The third illusion that we get to keep by choosing not to forgive is the illusion of power. We believe that we have some power over the other person by not forgiving them, that we have the power to make their lives miserable. But, in truth, oftentimes, they simply move on with their lives, oblivious to this supposed power we have over them. (Which really burns us up, doesn't it?!)
Finally, the Simons argue that not forgiving others allows us to live with the illusion that we will never be hurt again. We're still suffering from a huge hurt in our lives and so, as long as we wallow in it, we are under the illusion that it will protect us from any further hurts that might come our way.
For these illusions, and probably for many more, we often find it hard to forgive others.

- Eric Folkerth