1. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
2. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service
3. No one expects you to run----anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out...
8. You can eat supper at 4pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
12. You can't remember where you read this list before.
And never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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