Imagine picking your car up from the shop after a routine tune-up, and the technician says, "This car is in great shape. Clearly you have an automotive genius to take great care of your car." Later that day, your brakes don't work. You find out you were out of brake fluid. You could have died.
You
go back to the shop, and you say, "Why didn't you tell me?" The
technician replies, "Well, I didn't want you to feel bad. Plus, to be
honest, I was afraid you might get upset with me. I want this to be a safe
place where you feel loved and accepted." You'd be furious! You'd say,
"I didn't come here for a little fantasy-based ego boost! When it comes to
my car, I want the truth."
Or
imagine going to the doctor's office for a check-up. The doctor says to you,
"You are a magnificent physical specimen. You have the body of an
Olympian. You are to be congratulated." Later that day while climbing the
stairs, your heart gives out. You find out later your arteries were so clogged
that you were, like, one jelly doughnut away from the grim reaper.
You
go back to the doctor and say, "Why didn't you tell me?" The doctor
says, "Well, I knew your body is in worse shape than the Pillsbury
doughboy, but if I tell people stuff like that, they get offended. It's bad for
business. They don't come back. I want this to be a safe place where you feel
loved and accepted." You'd be furious! You'd say to the doctor, "When
it comes to my body, I want the truth!"
Obviously,
when something matters to us, we do not want illusory comfort based on pain
avoidance. We want truth.
John Ortberg, "Loving Enough to Speak the Truth," PreachingToday.com
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