Wet Pants

Come with me to a third grade classroom. There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk, and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet, and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before and he knows that when the boys find out, he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again for as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop, so he puts his head down and prays this prayer: “Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat." He looks up from his prayer, and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says that he has been discovered. As the teacher is coming to snatch him up, a classmate named Susie is carrying a gold fish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl in the boy's lap. The boy pretends to be angry but all the while is saying, “Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus!"

Now all of a sudden the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the children are on their hands and knees around his desk, cleaning up the mess. The sympathy is wonderful!

The ridicule that should have been his was transferred to someone else; Susie. As the day progresses the sympathy grows better and Susie's ridicule grows worse.

At the end of the day they are waiting for the bus. Susie has been shunned by the other children. The boy walks over to Susie and says, “Susie, you did that on purpose, didn't you?" Sue whispers back, “I wet my pants once too."

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The Gift

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box.
Curious, and somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.
Angry, he rose his voice to his father and said “with all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realised his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still gift-wrapped Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, “And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?"
As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL. How many times do we miss God's blessings because we can't see past our own desires?

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Useless But Interesting Facts

* The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
* The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
* The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan"
* Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.
* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

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What I've Learned (from the mouth of children)...

I've learned that my daddy can say a lot of words I can't — age 8
I've learned that if you spread the peas out on your plate it looks like you ate more — age 6
I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it mom makes me clean it up — - age 13
I've learned that you can be in love with four girls at the same time — age 9
I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk — age 7
I've learned that if you laugh and drink soda pop at the same time, it will come out your nose — age 7
I've learned that when mummy and daddy shout at each other it scares me — age 5
I've learned that when daddy kisses me in the mornings he smells like a piece of Jolly Rancher candy — age 10
I've learned that when I eat fish sticks, They help me swim faster because they're fish — age 7
I've learned that when I wave at people in the country they stop what they're doing and wave back — age 9
I've learned that when I grow up, I'm going to be an artist. It's in my blood — age 8
I've learned that you can't judge boys by the way they look — age 12
I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up — age 13
I've learned that you should never jump out of a second story window using a sheet for a parachute — age 10
I've learned that parents are very hard to live with — age 12
I've learned that sometimes the tooth fairy doesn't always come. Sometimes he's broke — age 8
I've learned that if you talk too long on the phone with a girl, your parents suspect something is going on — age 11
I've learned that girls sweat just as much as boys — age 11
I've learned that when wearing suspenders with one strap down, you need to be careful going to the bathroom — age 10
I've learned if you put a June bug down a girls dress, she goes crazy — age 6
I've learned that it always makes me feel good to see my parents holding hands — age 13
I've learned that you shouldn't confuse a black crayon with a Tootsie Roll — age 10
I've learned that I would like to be a horse and live on a ranch, if only cowboys didn't wear spurs — age 8
I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night" — age 7
I've learned that sometimes I don't like to play ball with daddy because he gets mad when I drop the ball — age 10
I've learned that milk helps keep your bones from bending over — age 7
I've learned that the teacher always calls on me the time I don't know the answer — age 9
I've learned how to hold animals without killing them — age 5
I've learned that when you have three of your wild friends in the car the driver freaks — age 9
I've learned that gold fish don't like jelly — age 5
I've learned that you should say your prayers every night — age 9
I've learned that the older I get the less attention I get — age 6
I've learned that sometimes my mother laughs so hard that she snorts — age 7

Kid In Russian Airspace

Years ago military experts said the Russians had developed and positioned the most effective anti-aircraft system in all the world. Powerful radars probed the air above major Soviet cities, and missiles were poised to bring down enemy aircraft at any altitude. None of these cities was more heavily defended than Moscow and its famous Red Square just outside the Kremlin, and seat of Communist government at that time.
That explains why the world was shocked (and more than a little amused) when a young German piloted a small rented single-engine airplane from Denmark into Soviet territory and buzzed the Kremlin before landing in Red Square. Before he was taken away by the police, he managed to greet some surprised Muscovites who just happened to be in take area at the time. He even signed a few autographs. And when the incident was over the youthful German was elated; the Russian government was embarrassed; a couple of top generals were abruptly sacked; and the world laughed.
We are kind of like Moscow. We can get overconfident with our spiritual defenses and all of a sudden discover we are a lot more vulnerable than we think we are. Compare this with Peter who absolutely assured Jesus that, though all deny Him, he never would.

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Felix The Flying Frog

A Parable About Modern Management
Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence on what he earned working at the Wal-Mart, but he always dreamed of being rich. “Felix!" he said one day, hit by sudden inspiration, “We're going to be rich! I will teach you to fly!"
Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect. “I can't fly, you twit! I'm a frog, not a canary!"
Clarence, disappointed at the initial response, told Felix: “That negative attitude of yours could be a real problem. I'm sending you to class." So Felix went to a three-day course and learned about problem solving, time management, and effective communication - but nothing about flying.
On the first day of the “flying lessons," Clarence could barely control his excitement (and Felix could barely control his bladder).
Clarence explained that their apartment building had 15 floors, and each day Felix would jump out of a window, starting with the first floor and eventually getting to the top floor.
After each jump, Felix would analyse how well he flew, isolate the most effective flying techniques, and implement the improved process for the next flight. By the time they reached the top floor, Felix would surely be able to fly.
Felix pleaded for his life, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. “He just doesn't understand how important this is," thought Clarence. “He can't see the big picture."
So, with that, Clarence opened the window and threw Felix out. He landed with a thud.
The next day, poised for his second flying lesson, Felix again begged not to be thrown out of the window. Clarence opened his pocket guide to “Managing More Effectively," and showed Felix the part about how one must always expect resistance when introducing new, innovative programs.
With that, he threw Felix out the window - THUD!
On the third day (at the third floor), Felix tried a different ploy: stalling. He asked for a delay in the “project" until better weather would make flying conditions more favourable.
But Clarence was ready for him: He produced a timeline and pointed to the third Milestone and asked. “You don't want to slip up the schedule, do you?"
From his training, Felix knew that not jumping today would only mean that he would have to jump TWICE tomorrow. So he just muttered, “OK, yeeha, let's go." And out the window he went.
Now this is not to say that Felix wasn't trying his best. On the fifth day he flapped his legs madly in a vain attempt at flying. On the sixth day, he tied a small red cape around his neck and tried to think “Superman" thoughts.
It didn't help.
By the seventh day, Felix, accepting his fate, no longer begged for mercy. He simply looked at Clarence and said, “You know you're killing me, don't you?"
Clarence pointed out that Felix's performance so far had been less than exemplary, failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had set for him. With that, Felix said quietly, “Shut up and open the window," and he leaped out, taking careful aim at the large jagged rock by the corner of the building.
And Felix went to that great lily pad in the sky.
Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had failed to meet a single objective that he had set out to accomplish. Felix had not only failed to fly, he hadn't even learned to steer his fall as he dropped like a sack of cement, nor had he heeded Clarence's advice to “Fall smarter, not harder."
The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyse the process and try to determine where it had gone wrong.
After much thought, Clarence smiled and said, “Next time, I'm getting a smarter frog!"

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Scuba Diver Sucked In

In June of 1989 a Florida scuba diver found himself sucked through 1,650 feet of intake pipe at the Florida Power & Light's St. Lucie nuclear plant. A security officer saw and rescued him as the pipe deposited him into a canal at the plant.
A plant spokesman said that the intake is marked by a warning buoy and shielded with a 70' by 70' cap that sits just above the intake. He explained that someone would have to swim underneath the cap and then head for the intake to get sucked in.
The spokesman's description sounded like an explanation of the way many people get “sucked into" sin. They get themselves in trouble by avoiding warning signs and positioning themselves in situations where the danger of sin is imminent. Then they act surprised when temptation swallows them whole.

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Reasons to Keep an Open Mind

•    "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
•    "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
•    "I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
•    "But what ... is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
•    "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
•    "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." - Western Union internal memo, 1876.
•    "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" - David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
•    "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
•    "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" - H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
•    "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in “Gone With The Wind."
•    "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." - Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
•    "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
•    "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." - Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
•    "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this." - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M Post-It" Notepads.
•    "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
•    "Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools." - 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary work.
•    "You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training." - Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the “unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.
•    "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." - Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
•    "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
•    "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
•    "Everything that can be invented has been invented." - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
•    "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". - Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
•    "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon". - Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

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The Lesson

Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them around him, he

taught them saying,

            Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

            Blessed are the meek...

            Blessed are they who mourn...

            Blessed are the merciful...

            Blessed are they who thirst for justice...

            Blessed are you when persecuted...

            Blessed are you when you suffer...

            Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in heaven...

Then Simon Peter said, 'Do we have to write this down?'

And Andrew said, 'Are we supposed to know this?'

And James said, 'Will we have a test on it?'

And Philip said, 'What if we don't know it?'

And Bartholomew said, 'Do we have to turn this in?'

And John said, 'The other disciples didn't have to learn this.'

And Matthew said, 'When do we get out of here?'

And Judas said, 'What does this have to do with real life?'

Then one of the Pharisees present asked to see Jesus' lesson plans and inquired of Jesus his terminal objectives in the cognitive domain.

And Jesus wept...

source: Anthony de Mello, Song of the Bird

Trust

According to the Glen Eyrie News, in a story dated August 19, 1992, a poor widow of Sao Paolo, Brazil, had four children to feed but only five cruzadoes in her purse (about 20 cents). The decision she had to make was to buy either milk, which meant her children would go without food, or to buy bread, in which case they would go without drink. She prayed for two hours, and He told her to buy all the groceries she needed for three months at a huge supermarket and go through checkout stand seven (there are 124 check stands).
She went to the supermarket and dutifully filled up three carts to overflowing and went to checkout stand number seven. But the employee was leaving for lunch and motioned her to go through another stand. The woman replied, “But my Father told me to go through number seven." The checker left for lunch, but this widow, who heard God's voice, trusted and stayed at checkout stand seven for one hour with 20 cents to her name.
The checker returned, astonished and puzzled to see the same lady waiting all that time. As her groceries were added up, an announcement came over the loud speaker, “Good afternoon, shoppers! Today is the seventh anniversary of our opening, and the person in checkout stand seven gets all her groceries today free!"
God is still capable of doing miracles like that and I'm sure that many of you have some interesting stories to tell. But God doesn't always do those sorts of miracles. Rather, His plan seems to be very similar to the way it was in the Old Testament times. Just as their obedience to the laws about harvesting made provision for the fatherless, that responsibility falls on the rest of God's people.

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Choice

It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose love ...
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy ...
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... the tool of the lazy thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.
I will refuse to see any problems anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace ...
I will live forgiven.
I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience ...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so.
Rather than complain that the wait is too long,
I will thank God for a moment to pray.
Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness ...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness ..
I will go without before I take dishonest gain. I will be overlooked before I will boast.
I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness ...
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that father will not come home.

I choose gentleness ...
Nothing is won by force.
I choose to be gentle.

If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control ...

I am a spiritual being.
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.

And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

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You Be the Judge

The devil had a convention to address his evil angels. He said, “We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep then from reading their Bibles & knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from conservative values. But we can do something else. We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding experience in God. If they gain that connection with God, our power over them is broken.
"So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that experience in God. This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"
"How shall we do this?", shouted his angels.
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life & invent un-numbered schemes to occupy their minds," the devil answered. “Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then, borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince the wives to go to work because they have to and the husbands to work 6 or 7 days a week, 10-12 hrs. a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work.
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, the VCR, & their CD's going constantly in their homes. And see to it that every store & restaurant in the world plays music constantly. This will jam their minds & break that union with God.
"Fill their coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hrs. a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, sweepstakes, mail order catalogues, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering, free products, services, & false hopes.
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted & unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out in nature. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts & movies instead. And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions."
"Let them be involved in soul-winning. But crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from God. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family unity for the good of the cause."
It was quite a convention in the end. And the evil angels went eagerly to their assignments causing God's folks everywhere to get busy, busy, busy & rush here & there.
Has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge.

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Unlock Your Potential

Michaelangelo worked on forty-four statues and completed fourteen of them. The unfinished ones are in a museum in Italy - the unfulfilled potential of a great genius. What's sadder to see are people who could become masterpieces - if only they were developed. You say, “How do I discover and develop my gifts?" First , look up. Find somebody who's a little bigger and a little better than you are, then spend time with them. That's what Joshua did with Moses and Timothy did with Paul. It's still God's way.
Next, give up. You've got to be willing to give up what you are, in order to be what you can become - Abraham gave up his home to seek a better country. Moses gave up the riches of Egypt to identify with the people of God. Paul gave up the comfort of being a Pharisee to pay the price of being an apostle. Every achiever has a 'give up' story - nothing comes free!
Finally, show up. If you want to win the game, you must face your opponent! Jephthah said, “ . . . I have opened my mouth unto the Lord and I cannot go back." (Judg 11:35) In spite of his terrible family background and his personal problems, he became Israel's youngest judge and finished up with the heroes of faith in Hebrews chapter 11. God can do it for you too - if you'll let Him!

Setting the Sidewalk

Someone recently shared the following story they had heard. I thought you might find it interesting grist:

"Some developers bought out a city block of park area to erect skyscrapers. All but one of them laid down side walks and walk ways to enter and exit their buildings. The one developer that didn't was ridiculed by the others because he left bare grass in front of his building. As time went by and the building was now open to the public, people had trampled a path in the grass to enter and exit the building. After it hit dirt level the developer came back and laid his marble slabs in the path of how the people were walking. The developer noticed how they were walking and built his walkway around them instead of them around his walkway."

Do we force people to walk our way as a disciple unnecessarily?

The Pastor who posted this mentioned that they abandoned Sunday School, Sunday evening services and Wednesday prayer meetings. The people were not walking that way. They came late for SS and evening church, and attendance was less than 50%. Wednesday night was 10% or less.

The leadership got together, went out and talked individually to families, and realized the church was forcing them to either exhaust themselves (already exhausted by the week) on Sundays, or feel like second class christians. They got some feedback, kicked around some ideas with the congregation, did some teaching, and made the above changes.

They added some tools and training via sermons and handouts and skits on how families could spend 20 or 30 minutes in family devotions a few nights a week to train their children (the parents role anyway). They added home groups every other Wednesday that shared a meal together, each bringing a small part to a hosts house, and having prayer and bible discussions, nothing formal, just ideas and problems shared.

They also encouraged people to spend one or two nights a month pursuing a hobby or connecting in some other way with unbelievers (ceramics, sports, painting class, photography class, etc). Some got together and used their freed up time to walk through the neighbourhood’s inviting people to church and handing out flyers they made about their new focus.

I am not, and he did not, advocate the conclusions they came to and implemented were the only way to go, just the way the path was when they looked closely.

What paths do you see that are being missed in your fellowships, that might allow the people to better connect, and to be more natural and less forced about it (something that is resisted)?

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Good at What He Does

"We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless I've studied a map, that isn't necessarily true.

So I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. "You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they asserted.

"I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now."

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