Making Our Deaths Gifts

How do we make our deaths gifts for others? Very often people's lives are destroyed, harmed, or permanently wounded by the deaths of their relatives or friends. We have to do whatever we can to avoid this. When we are near death what we say to those who are close to us, whether in spoken or in written words, is very important. When we express gratitude to them, ask forgiveness for our shortcomings and offer forgiveness for theirs, and express our sincere desire that they continue their lives without remorse but remembering the graces of our lives, then our deaths can become true gifts.

- Henri Nouwen

Dying with Grateful Hearts

We often wonder how death will occur for us. Through illness, accident, war, or a natural disaster? Will our deaths happen suddenly or gradually? There are no answers for these questions, so we really should not spend time worrying about them. We don't know how our lives will end, and this is a blessed ignorance! But there is an important question that we should consider: When our time to die comes, will we die in such a way that those we leave behind are not devastated by grief or left with feelings of shame or guilt?
How we leave others depends largely on how we prepare ourselves for death. When we can die with grateful hearts, grateful to God and our families and friends, our deaths can become sources of life for others.

- Henri Nouwen

Praying to Die Well

Many people say, "I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying." This is quite understandable, since dying often means illness, pain, dependency, and loneliness.
The fear of dying is nothing to be ashamed of. It is the most human of all human fears. Jesus himself entered into that fear. In his anguish "sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood" (Luke 22:44). How must we deal with our fear of dying? Like Jesus we must pray that we may receive special strength to make the great passage to new life. Then we can trust that God will send us an angel to comfort us, as he sent an angel to Jesus.

- Henri Nouwen

Emptiness and Fullness

Emptiness and fullness at first seem complete opposites. But in the spiritual life they are not. In the spiritual life we find the fulfillment of our deepest desires by becoming empty for God.
We must empty the cups of our lives completely to be able to receive the fullness of life from God. Jesus lived this on the cross. The moment of complete emptiness and complete fullness become the same. When he had given all away to his Abba, his dear Father, he cried out, "It is fulfilled" (John 19:30). He who was lifted up on the cross was also lifted into the resurrection. He who had emptied and humbled himself was raised up and "given the name above all other names" (see Philippians 2:7-9). Let us keep listening to Jesus' question: "Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?" (Matthew 20:22).

- Henri Nouwen

Spirit Born

Jesus says [to Nicodemus], "The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit" (John 3:8)
Listen to the wind, Nicodemus. Listen to the wind.
Again, and again, in both the Old and New Testaments, God's Spirit - the Holy Spirit - is described as being like the wind. Both the Hebrew of the Old Testament (ruach) and the Greek of the New Testament (pneuma) employ a word that can mean wind, breath, or spirit. When the writer of Genesis explains our divine origins, he tells us that God breathed into the human nostrils the breath of life (Genesis 2:7); that is, God inspirited us. When the Holy Spirit entered our world in a new way on the Day of Pentecost, one of the manifestations of the Spirit's coming was "a sound like the rush of a violent wind" that filled the house where the believers were sitting (Acts 2:2). Even so, when Jesus wanted Nicodemus to understand how he could be born from above, Jesus said that it was like the wind. You might not understand it, and certainly you couldn't control it, but you could feel its reality.

- J. Ellsworth Kalas in "New Testament Stories from the Back Side"

On The Journey Toward Reclaiming my Identity

I was on a business trip, it was 3:30 a.m. and I simply had to pick up the phone and call my wife. I had just finished reading a riveting story of a young Jewish man's identity struggle, My Name Is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok. I too grew up in an isolated religious community the middle child of seven, six boys and a girl, with a father who coached basketball and a mother who taught music. Identity issues were rampant.
All of us live with a deep-rooted need to belong that stokes the fires of a relentless identity search. As a young person, I tried to establish my own identity by being funny, radical and likable. As an adult, I linked my identity to my business success, accumulation of material goods, leadership at church. Our culture attempts to tell us who we are by defining who is the best, the strongest, the smartest, the most beautiful. We depend on other people, something outside ourselves, to name who we are. And it seems that we never hear the affirmation we long for.
We were created in the fullness and completeness of a God relationship that radiated His presence, an infused identity of being loved. Jesus Christ, through the power of His death and resurrection, offers us the restored inner certainty that we are loved. In being open and receptive to Love, we claim our true identity.

by Steve Imbach

How Do You Attract Opportunity Into Your Life?

Someone recently asked me the question: "How can I have more opportunities come into my life?" Good question, but I think my answer surprised them a bit.
I bypassed the obvious (and necessary) points about hard work, persistence and preparation. They actually were very hard workers. And they had the great attribute of being seekers, they were on the outlook. But I felt maybe they were missing this next and most valuable point - attraction.
I always thought opportunities and success were something you went after, then I found out that I needed to turn it around. Opportunities and success are not something you go after necessarily, but something you attract - by becoming an attractive person.
That's why I teach development of skills. If you can develop your skills, keep refining all the parts of your character and yourself, your health, your relationships, etc. so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace - you'll attract opportunity. Opportunity will probably seek you out. Your reputation will probably precede you and someone will want to do business with you. All of the possibilities are there by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract.
The key is to continue making yourself a more attractive person by the skills you have, the disciplines you have, the personality you've acquired, the character and reputation you have established, the language and speech you use - all of that refinement makes you more attractive to the marketplace.
Personal development - the never-ending chance to improve not only yourself, but also to attract opportunities and affect others.

by Jim Rohn

Attitude & Association

Charlie Tremendous Jones said that you will be the same person five years from now that you are today except for the books you read, the tapes you listen to and the people you associate with. In other words, where you are five years from now will greatly be determined by how far you have personally grown five years from now. You should be excited because it means that we can have more than we have because we can become more than we are. Since books, tapes, and people will be our main source for personal growth, let's take a look at each one and see how they can help us positively transform our lives.
Research has found that 58% of high school graduates never read another book from cover to cover the rest of their adult life. Approximately 78% of the population has not been in a bookstore in the last 5 years. The average child spends less than 1% of their free time reading and about 54% of their free time in front of the Television (either watching it or playing video games). There is a wealth of knowledge in books that can help us professionally and personally grow into the person we will need to be in order to achieve our goals. We suggest you read at least 10 pages of a good book a day. The key word is good. That means a book about Madonna or a Stephen King novel doesn't count.
What do most people listen to while driving in the morning on their way to work? That's right you guessed it the radio. When was the last time you listened to the radio and heard of all of the exciting, positive, and empowering things occurring in the World? It's time to turn your automobile into a moving University. There are tapes produced on just about every imaginable subject especially personal growth related issues. Turn off the radio and turn on the tape player. Put in tapes that can help take you to the next level both personally and professionally and you will be pleasantly surprised at the results you get. The results will not come because of luck or fate. They will come because you will be operating within the guidelines of natural laws. And one of Nature's Laws is the Law of Sowing and Reaping, which says that you will Reap what you Sow. By listening to empowering tape programs you are Sowing the seeds of prosperity and as long as you keep Sowing those seeds and cultivating them, you have no other choice but to Reap the harvest of the seeds you planted. The Compounded effect will eventually kick in.
The people you associate with will have a bigger influence on your success than any other factor we've thus far discussed. This is because when you're dealing with a human being, you are not only dealing with words, but you're also dealing with emotions. The emotions of love, hate, joy, sorrow, courage, fear, etc. Even though we don't like to admit it, we are more emotional in nature than rational. You are not in a product business or opportunity business, you are in a people business. As you have probably already realized, people don't like things that go against traditional methods of operation. Therefore, you may find resistance in some people regarding your Network Marketing business. Some people may even ridicule you and think you have lost your mind for getting started in such a non-traditional business. In order for you to be all that you can be (no this is not a commercial for the Army), you should ask yourself the following questions regarding the people you currently associate with:
1) Who are they? Hopefully your can answer this in 2 seconds.
2) What are they doing to me? In other words, what do they have you thinking, going, and doing? What kinds of conversations do they have you engaged in? What type of dreams do they have you visualizing?
3) Is that OK? If the answer is "Yes" then you may want to Expand your association with them because you are on track to personal growth. If the answer is "No" then you may want to Limit your association with those people. In other words maybe you can spend 2 days with some people, but not 2 weeks. Maybe you can spend 2 hours with some people but not 2 days. Or you may have to even completely Disassociate from some people for a while. The key words are for a while. In other words, just long enough for you to get some momentum going in your life. The statement that says, Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude is very true. So every day in every way you want to work on improving your attitude because only then can you more effortlessly and easily move towards accomplishing your every desire.

by Jerry Clark

The Necessities Of Life

Many wise men have said in many different ways that there are at least four things by which men must live in the world. They were speaking, of course, of spiritual values, not of material necessities. Food, shelter, clothing, and the like, man must also have. But if he has nothing more than these, life will be barren indeed. The other things that he must have are love, work, play, and worship. There can be no lasting happiness without love; there can be no satisfaction of achievement without work; there can be no release from tension without play; and there can be no experience of the joy and peace and power of life without worship.

- from "The Christian Observer"

Holding the Cup

We all must hold the cups of our lives. As we grow older and become more fully aware of the many sorrows of life - personal failures, family conflicts, disappointments in work and social life, and the many pains surrounding us on the national and international scene - everything within and around us conspires to make us ignore, avoid, suppress, or simply deny these sorrows. "Look at the sunny side of life and make the best of it," we say to ourselves and hear others say to us. But when we want to drink the cups of our lives, we need first to hold them, to fully acknowledge what we are living, trusting that by not avoiding but befriending our sorrows we will discover the true joy we are looking for right in the midst of our sorrows.

- Henri Nouwen

God Visited The Earth

The Gospel has a once-and-for-all quality. It is unique. There is nothing like it in history or in any other world religion. Someone put that truth in the form of a story about a conference in outer space to which the many planets sent delegates to report on the progress made by their civilizations. Some reported that they had abolished poverty and war, others that they had eradicated all illness and disease, others that they had closed the prisons and reduced the crime rate to zero. Aware of their failures in this regard, the earth delegates sat there embarrassed. Finally their leader rose to his feet and said, "We have no good news to report. Nothing important has happened to us, except, maybe, one small thing. A few centuries ago God visited the earth." The others looked at him in amazement. "You say God visited the earth. How did you receive Him? What did you do with Him?" Earth's delegate hung his head in shame and confessed, "Actually we killed him... But he rose again... God visited the earth."
That says it all! God visited the earth in Jesus Christ who lived and died and rose again for our salvation, who ascended to heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts and community of Christian believers. That is the Gospel, the Christ-event, the foundation of our faith. It happened once and need not happen again. All that we Christians believe is based on it.

- Rev. Dr. A. Leonard Griffith in a sermon, "The Faith Entrusted to Us"

Sharing Freely Our Knowledge

Often we think that we do not know enough to be able to teach others. We might even become hesitant to tell others what we know, out of fear that we won't have anything left to say when we are asked for more.
This mind-set makes us anxious, secretive, possessive, and self-conscious. But when we have the courage to share generously with others all that we know, whenever they ask for it, we soon discover that we know a lot more than we thought. It is only by giving generously from the well of our knowledge that we discover how deep that well is.

- Henri Nouwen

Statistics

Some statistics from a recent presentation on health issues of Australian 13-24 year olds.
Births to teenage mothers
Year Married Not-married
1971..... 20,281..... 9,951
1981 ......7,736.... 10,076
1991 ..... 2,593 ... 12,048
2001 .....1,110 .... 10,706
(Married numbers in above table do not include de facto relationships)
In South Australia in the period 1995/99, 53.8% of all teenage pregnancies were terminated (not all states publish data on induced abortions).
A study in Queensland in 2003 indicated that more than 10% of year 10/11 females self harmed in the last 12 months.
In 1997, around 13% of 13-17 year olds were diagnosed with mental health problems.
In 1997, around 27% of 18-24 year olds suffered from some form of mental health problem.
In 1999, 10.7% of females and 2.9% of males aged 18-24 suffered from affective mental disorders (depression, mania, dysthymia, hypomania, bipolar affective disorder).
In 2003, it was estimated that 100,000 children and adolescents in Australia suffered from depression.
In 2003, around 20,000 prescriptions for anti-depressants were issued per month to people under 19.

The Cup of Life

When the mother of James and John asks Jesus to give her sons a special place in his Kingdom, Jesus responds, "Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?" (Matthew 20:22). "Can we drink the cup?" is the most challenging and radical question we can ask ourselves. The cup is the cup of life, full of sorrows and joys. Can we hold our cups and claim them as our own? Can we lift our cups to offer blessings to others, and can we drink our cups to the bottom as cups that bring us salvation?
Keeping this question alive in us is one of the most demanding spiritual exercises we can practice.

- Henri Nouwen

Choices II

Another one that does the email rounds from time to time - not sure how accurate its portrayal is, but there is an element of truth contained... is this a cause for concern, or a sign of grace and hope?
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

Choices I

An old chestnut... still worth pondering from time to time
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
A: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Why Change is Like a Slinky

1. You have to take it out of the box to have fun with it.
2. It comes in many styles and colors.
3. Somebody has to launch it on its way.
4. The course it takes once it begins is entirely unpredictable.
5. It routinely gets stuck halfway down the stairs and has to be relaunched. Repeat as necessary.
6. It is messy, noisy, and chaotic.
7. Before it is launched, it has stored potential energy. When launched, that energy force becomes kinetic energy.
8. You really don't control it once it begins its journey.
9. It rarely lands where you predict.

- from Change Is Like a Slinky by Hans Finzel (Northfield Publishers, 2004)

Do You Want Me To Help You Buy That Car?

How many of you are under sixteen? How do you like the idea that you might be driving a Cadillac when you're sixteen? When my son was your age, he wasn't quite as excited as you. I said, "Jerry, do you want to have a car when you're sixteen?"
"Yes."
"Do you want me to help you buy that car?"
"Yes sir, dad."
"Alright, son, we're going to do it, but the free ride is over. No more allowance. I'm going to give you a way to make a lot of money. Here is the deal. I am going to pick out books for you to read. There will be motivational books, history books, inspirational books; and every time I give you a book, you give me a book report. Every time I get a book report, I'll put money in your car fund. Another book report; more money in the car fund. In two years if you read in style, you'll drive in style. But if you read like a bum, you're going to drive like a bum."
Overnight he developed a fantastic hunger for reading. The first book I had him read was Dale Carnegie's, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Somebody said, "Why did you have him read a book like that?" I'll tell you why. The first day he read that book, he smiled and said, "Dad, there's a whole chapter in here about smiling." And he smiled at me - he smiled at me. I couldn't believe it - he's smiling and he's only 14 years old - smiling already. Then he took my hand and he shook my hand and he said "Dad, there's a whole chapter in here on shaking hands." He shook my hand. I couldn't believe it - oh my.
Next, I had him read the book of Joshua. Oh, I love the book of Joshua. It's on discouragement. We all have a right to be discouraged, but none of us have the right to act discouraged. So we're going to Sunday school one day, and I said, "Jerry, how do you like that book on Joshua?" He said, "Dad, everybody ought to have to read that book." And when he said that, he hit my leg. He hit my leg! First sign of life in 14 years - he hit my leg!
Well, let me tell you this. That may not sound like much, but many people have read great books, and never once have they said, "You've got to read this book." If you don't have a passion and desire to share what you're reading, you may as well not read it. But if you're not living your life out, you're a dead sea. Well, he read 22 books. He didn't buy a car; he kept the money and used my gas!
He went on to college; he wrote me a Dear Dad post card every day for four years. And some of those cards - I'd like to read you a couple - because they were tough years of my life. You know, no matter how anybody looks on the platform, we all have our ups and downs and hurts and what-have-you, but if you're wise, you'll always keep your hurts to yourself and you grow through and you never suck your thumb and complain and tell people about them. And so here come these cards, and those years I was going through tough times, and sometimes I would just put my head on the desk and shed some happy tears. Because I was so grateful to realize that it was a book he read where he got his seed thought, to put it on a card and write to me every day. And the other thing so beautiful about it, he may not have known the meaning of some of these great truths, but the thought was in his mind, and you have to get it in your mind, you have to memorize it before you can start to realize it.
And here are a couple of cards:
Dad, the only happy man, successful man, confident man, or practical man is the one who is simple. See it big - keep it simple.
Unless his mind can crystallize all the answers into one powerful punch of personal motivation, you live nothing but a life of uncertainty and fear. Tremendously too, Jerry
Dad, it's simple to be able to know that when you're in a slump, just like that baseball player will break out in time, so you'll break out of yours. Yea, time really cures things. Like you said, you don't lose any problems. You just get bigger and better ones - tremendous ones. Tremendously, Jerry
Dad, I just started reading "100 Great Lives." Thanks for what you said in the front, the part that every great man never sought to be great. He just followed the vision he had and did what he had to do. Love, Jerry
Dad, I just got done typing up little quotes out of the Bible and Napoleon Hill, so that everywhere I look I see these quotes. When people ask what they are, I tell them, "They're my pin-up's."
Dad, I'm more convinced than ever that you can do anything you want to. You can beat anyone at anything, just by working hard. Handicaps don't mean anything because often people who don't have any handicaps, have a bad attitude and don't want to do anything.
Dad, nothing new. Just the same old exciting thought--that we can know God personally and forever in this amazing life.
Dad, The mind of God is so unbelievable. He throws nothing at us but paradoxes. He makes us completely and utterly helpless and depraved, and then He takes our failure which normally knocks us out, and makes it our greatest asset.
Dad, when you're behind two papers in the 4th quarter and you're exhausted from the game, and you have to make up a set of downs in order to stay in the game, and you get up to the line and see 5 250-lb tests staring you in the mug, you're too excited to wait and find out what play the Lord is going to call next.
Wow! Well, anyway just imagine, if I had it to do over again, I'd have paid him $1,000 a book report. How many have grand-children here? Okay here's what you do. You tell your grandchildren from now on you'll pay them $100 for every book report, and they get $5 bucks and the rest goes into the college fund. So that way, when they're 8 or 9, they'll have $10,000 or $15,000 to put toward college education and they'll have the satisfaction of paying for it. Plus they will have read books that will truly make a difference in their lives.

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

Success Lessons I Learned From My Single Mum

I was at a dinner party the other night when someone posed this question: Who has influenced your life the most? I thought for a moment and said what no one else said, "My mother." You see, when I was four, my dad died. At the time, it seemed like we were on top of the world. My dad was making over $80,000 a year (in 1969), and we were living in the largest house in one of the most prestigious country clubs in Seattle. Then my dad came down with cancer and was gone in 6 months.
After his death, we found out that my dad had only $30,000 in life insurance (I don't sell life insurance, but I can tell you this - you need more!). My mum and I went from the upper bracket to the lower middle financial bracket almost overnight. A year after my dad's death, we were comfortably lower middle class.
As I reflect back on my life, most of what I am today I learned from a "tough-as-nails" woman who went to work and busted her tail to get me ready for life. I realize now how many success principles she displayed while living out her life. The following success principles, though they can be and should be applied by all of us, are dedicated to all of those single mums out there. You are doing a tough job. Keep plugging away, be tenacious, and love your kids. They'll see your life and turn out all right.
Don't whine during tough times. You know, my mum got a bad deal, but as I look back on it, I cannot ever remember her complaining about her lot in life. That spoke volumes to me and has been a lesson ever since. Two people working, one whines, the other makes the most of the situation and works harder - who do you root for? Successful people don't whine, they work harder and beat the odds.
Be creative. My mum immediately went to selling real estate. She did all right, but she also bought old houses and fixed them up and sold them. We would move in and she would hire the workers from the real estate office to fix up the house on the weekends. A couple of years later we would sell the house and pocket some much needed money. I moved a lot, but you do what you have to when your back is against the wall. Successful people get creative when it comes to solving problems.
Sacrifice for others. I know we didn't have much growing up but my mum always found ways to give me the extras. We would cut back here and there so that we could take the mandatory trip to Disneyland or get new athletic shoes. Finding purpose by sacrificing for others is one of the highest calling in success. Successful people live not only for themselves but for those around them as well.
Be independent. My mum didn't cut corners or get a leg up in anything. She worked hard for what she got. And she taught me to do the same. I can remember being taught to do things on my own that other parents were doing for their kids. Many of those kids still need their parents to get the job done. Successful people don't rely on others to do for them what they can do themselves.
Believe in yourself. When I would say I wanted to do something but didn't think I could, my mum would ask me, "Has anybody else ever done it?" I would say "Of course, lots of people." Her reply? "Then you can too. You are smarter than them!" Well, I probably wasn't smarter than them, but point well taken. If someone else has proven it can be done, then you have a chance! Successful people believe that they can do it!
Have a dream and pursue it - even if it takes years. My mum kept a dream alive and pursued it on the side as I grew up. The year I graduated from high school, my mom graduated from college. She was 54 years old. She kept her dream alive and worked at it bit by bit and finally it happened! Successful people dream big dreams and then complete them no matter how long it takes.
Stretch yourself. I can remember my mum taking me to business and real estate seminars when I was a twelve-year-old kid. Not because she couldn't find babysitting, but because she wanted me to learn something! Most parents wouldn't even think that their twelve- year-old could learn something there. Mine did. And I did learn a thing or two. Successful people stretch themselves.
Experience is the greatest teacher. My mum used to pull me out of school all the time and take me on these wild trips and journeys. I would say, "Uh, mum, shouldn't I be in school." She would always answer the same way, "Chris, we can't let school get in the way of your education!" Successful people understand that going to school can get you some knowledge and a degree, but nothing beats actually doing it.
Some things are worth more than money. One of the greatest sacrifices my mother made for me was when I began high school. I did well in sports and played in the evenings, so my mum quit selling real estate, which takes up a lot of evenings, and took a lower paying job as a secretary at the University. She rarely missed a game all through high school. Successful people realize there are some things money can't buy.
So as I said earlier in the article, but it bears repeating: Keep plugging away, be tenacious, and love your kids!

- Chris Widener

Seeing the Miracle of Multiplication

The opposite of a scarcity mentality is an abundancy mentality. With an abundancy mentality we say: "There is enough for everyone, more than enough: food, knowledge, love ... everything." With this mind-set we give away whatever we have, to whomever we meet. When we see hungry people we give them food. When we meet ignorant people we share our knowledge; when we encounter people in need of love, we offer them friendship and affection and hospitality and introduce them to our family and friends.
When we live with this mind-set, we will see the miracle that what we give away multiplies: food, knowledge, love ... everything. There will even be many leftovers.

- Henri Nouwen

A Mother's Love

It seems an angel slipped out of heaven and spent the day roaming around on earth. As the sun was setting, he decided he wanted to take along some mementos of his visit. He noticed some lovely roses in a flower garden, plucked the rarest and most beautiful, and made a bouquet to take back to heaven.
Looking on a bit farther, he saw a beautiful little baby smiling at his mother's face. The baby's smile was even prettier than the bouquet of roses, so he took that, too. He was about to leave when he saw the mother's love pouring out like a gushing river toward the little baby in the cradle, and he said to himself, "Oh, that mother's love is the prettiest thing I have seen on earth; I will carry that, too."
He winged his way to heaven, but just outside the pearly gates he decided to examine his mementos to see how well they had made the trip. The flowers had withered, the baby's smile had faded, but the mother's love was still there in all its warmth and beauty. He discarded the withered flowers and the faded smile, gathered all the hosts of heaven around him, and said, "Here's the only thing I found on earth that would keep its beauty all the way to heaven -- it is a mother's love."

- Source Unknown

Principles for Life

These do the email rounds from time to time marked as "Lotus Touts"... There are some good principles involved here that are well worth pondering regularly... and acting upon.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

The Temptation to Hoard

As fearful people we are inclined to develop a mind-set that makes us say: "There's not enough food for everyone, so I better be sure I save enough for myself in case of emergency," or "There's not enough knowledge for everyone to enjoy; so I'd better keep my knowledge to myself, so no one else will use it" or "There's not enough love to give to everybody, so I'd better keep my friends for myself to prevent others from taking them away from me." This is a scarcity mentality. It involves hoarding whatever we have, fearful that we won't have enough to survive. The tragedy, however, is that what you cling to ends up rotting in your hands.

- Henri Nouwen

God's Will In Everyday Activities

On the eve of the Day of Atonement when the time had come to say Kol Nidre (the most solemn time of prayer in the Jewish year) all the Hasidim were gathered together in the House of Prayer waiting for the rabbi. But time passed and he did not come. Then one of the women of the congregation said to herself: "I guess it will be quite a while before they begin, and I was in such a hurry and my child is alone in the house. I'll just run home and look after it to make sure it hasn't awakened. I can be back in a few minutes."
She ran home and listened at the door. Everything was quiet. Softly she turned the knob and put her head into the room - and there stood the rabbi holding her child in his arms. He had heard the child crying on his way to the House of Prayer, and had played with it and sung to it until it fell asleep.

- Martin Buber

The Doctor's Strong Words

The role of a doctor may be the most revealing image in thinking about God and sin. What a doctor does for me physically - guide me toward health - God does for me spiritually. I am learning to view sins not as an arbitrary list of rules drawn up by a cranky Judge but rather as a list of dangers that must be avoided at all costs - for our own sakes...
Sin represents a grave danger to my spiritual, and perhaps my physical, health. The more I see my sins in this light, the more I understand God's strong words against them. I find myself gazing into the grieving eyes of a Doctor whose patients are destroying themselves. As Jesus said, applying the doctor image to Himself, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

- Phillip Yancey

Signposts on the Way to God

How do we know about God's love, God's generosity, God's kindness, God's forgiveness? Through our parents, our friends, our teachers, our pastors, our spouses, our children ... they all reveal God to us. But as we come to know them, we realise that each of them can reveal only a little bit of God. God's love is greater than theirs; God's goodness is greater than theirs; God's beauty is greater than theirs.
At first we may be disappointed in these people in our lives. For a while we thought that they would be able to give us all the love, goodness, and beauty we needed. But gradually we discover that they were all signposts on the way to God.

- Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Toward Reclaiming my Identity

Having just made the commitment to become a Bat Mitzvah (I am not thirteen!), I keep asking myself, "Why this journey now?"
I think because the women's spirituality movement has brought me closer to the heart of my faith. Because the feminine, in-dwelling aspect of God helped me to find the beauty and meaning of my tradition. And because I want to feel God's presence in a way I couldn't before, as an indivisible Oneness, a way of relating to each other at the deepest level of our humanity, a way of living, loving and caring for each other, our reason for trying. This is the faith I have found and love.
This is also what a dream told me could be unknown to my then unborn grandchildren.
I needed my children, and theirs, to know they have a faith and a family that goes back almost four thousand years. One that knows the inevitability of pain, struggle, losing our way, yet whispers, "We will always be there for you," "New beginnings are as close as your next breath."
I want them to know wonder, mystery and possibility; to feel their hearts crack open in response to the unspeakable beauty in the world; and to keep those hearts open to the pain in the world, helping to heal the brokenness.
Searching for what I thought was about leaving a legacy, I wandered through a spiritual wilderness, making my way back to my roots and finding what I needed for my Self, remembering why this journey now.

- Shelle Goldstein

God's Generosity

God is a god of abundance, not a god of scarcity. Jesus reveals to us God's abundance when he offers so much bread to the people that there are twelve large baskets with leftover scraps (see John 6:5-15), and when he makes his disciples catch so many fish that their boat nearly sinks (Luke 5:1-7). God doesn't give us just enough. God gives us more than enough: more bread and fish than we can eat, more love than we dared to ask for.
God is a generous giver, but we can only see and enjoy God's generosity when we love God with all of our hearts, minds, and strength. As long as we say, "I will love you, God, but first show me your generosity," we will remain distant from God and unable to experience what God truly wants to give us, which is life and life in abundance.

- Henri Nouwen

The Mosaic That Shows Us the Face of God

A mosaic consists of thousands of little stones. Some are blue, some are green, some are yellow, some are gold. When we bring our faces close to the mosaic, we can admire the beauty of each stone. But as we step back from it, we can see that all these little stones reveal to us a beautiful picture, telling a story none of these stones can tell by itself.
That is what our life in community is about. Each of us is like a little stone, but together we reveal the face of God to the world. Nobody can say: "I make God visible." But others who see us together can say: "They make God visible." Community is where humility and glory touch.

- Henri Nouwen

Mountaintop Experiences

Mountaintop experiences are incredible. They are important parts of shaping who we are. They remind us of the best times of our lives. They remind us of the greatest and most wonderful memories we have. But they are not where we live, day to day. None of us actually live within a mountaintop experience. We visit the summit. We look around. We savour the moment. But then, we return to the world from whence we came.
Those insane folks who climb up Mt. Everest learn something all of us should learn too: that you can't actually live - day to day - up there on the top of Everest. For one thing, there's no air up there to breath. For another, there's no food. No running water. It's too cold, and there's no way to sustain yourself. Quite literally, it's a nice place to visit, but you really can't live there.
Metaphorically, that's the way of all mountaintop experiences: they are nice places to visit, but you really can't live there. Because life is always an experience of moving forward, one moment to the next, one experience to the next. No one single experience ever persists forever, no matter how much we might want to cling to it...
Having any mountaintop experience of God is a true gift. But what God tells us about them is this: "Keep these experiences. Ponder them. Give thanks that they happened. But then remember that, in the spiritual life, things are always changing.
Abundant life still awaits you, down in the valley."

© Eric Folkerth 2002

Friends and Their Unique Gifts

No two friends are the same. Each has his or her own gift for us. When we expect one friend to have all we need, we will always be hypercritical, never completely happy with what he or she does have.
One friend may offer us affection, another may stimulate our minds, another may strengthen our souls. The more able we are to receive the different gifts our friends have to give us, the more able we will be to offer our own unique but limited gifts. Thus, friendships create a beautiful tapestry of love.

- Henri Nouwen