True Intimacy

Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.
It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.

by Henri Nouwen

Perspective

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Who the Bible is Written For

Soren Kierkegaard once said that reading the Bible is like coming to a street corner and waiting for the traffic to pass before crossing the street. And while you are waiting, you overhear the conversation of the two women in front of you. They are oblivious to your presence, but as they talk, you realize that the conversation is about you. And what they say reveals to you things that you never suspected about yourself.
When I read the Bible in the power of the Holy Spirit, it's just like that. Though it was not written to me, I sense that is was written for me. I don't hear just what the Bible says to people in places long ago and far away. Rather, I feel as though I am overhearing messages that were meant just for me. In my devotional reading of the Scripture, as distinct from my times of study, I feel my soul being opened up to glimpses of Truth that are incredibly personal.

- Tony Campolo in "Following Jesus Without Embarrassing God"

The Nonpossessive Life

To be able to enjoy fully the many good things the world has to offer, we must be detached from them. To be detached does not mean to be indifferent or uninterested. It means to be nonpossessive. Life is a gift to be grateful for and not a property to cling to.
A nonpossessive life is a free life. But such freedom is only possible when we have a deep sense of belonging. To whom then do we belong? We belong to God, and the God to whom we belong has sent us into the world to proclaim in his Name that all of creation is created in and by love and calls us to gratitude and joy. That is what the "detached" life is all about. It is a life in which we are free to offer praise and thanksgiving.

by Henri Nouwen

The Basis of Our Security

What is the basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, connections, insurance, and so on. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may tell us otherwise. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, our anxiety often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things.
A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created things, good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love. We probably will never be completely free from our attachment to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free way, we'd better not belong to it. "You cannot be the slave both of God and of money" (Luke 16:13).

by Henri Nouwen

No Longer Aliens

No [one] desires anything so eagerly as God desires to bring [us] to the knowledge of Himself. God is always ready, but we are very unready. God is near us, but we are far from Him. God is within, and we are without. God is friendly - we are estranged.

- Meister Eckhart

The Barometer of Our Lives

Although the table is a place for intimacy, we all know how easily it can become a place of distance, hostility, and even hatred. Precisely because the table is meant to be an intimate place, it easily becomes the place we experience the absence of intimacy. The table reveals the tensions among us. When husband and wife don't talk to each other, when a child refuses to eat, when brothers and sisters bicker, when there are tense silences, then the table becomes hell, the place we least want to be.
The table is the barometer of family and community life. Let's do everything possible to make the table the place to celebrate intimacy.

- Henri Nouwen

On The Journey Towards Compassion

Let me tell you about heaven! I haven't actually been there, but I did take about thirty children from Saint Andrew's School there last Friday. It was a guided visualization, and the kids' sights and insights were incredible.
We arrived at heaven and I asked: "What do you see?" "Huge, shiny golden gates with angels," said some, while others said "God" or "Jesus" was there to welcome them. We went through the golden gates, and I asked what heaven looked like. "It's so beautiful, filled with really green fields and pools and trampolines and slides." "What do the people look like, and who do you see?" I asked. The answers were almost immediate. "My cousin, my grandparents, my gerbil, my grandmother's brother who died at birth."
I waited about half a minute and said, "I see a very bright light moving toward us. What do you think it is?" Some said it was God and others, Jesus. "He's going to speak," I said. "What does he want to tell us?" "Don't judge people by the colour of their skin; be kind to people; I'm so glad to see you and I wish you could stay longer, but I'll see you at another time."
I explained to the kids that a Jewish text teaches that the manna given by God to the Israelites in the desert tasted like whatever they imagined it to be. "Imagine that it's lunchtime in heaven, what do they serve there?" The answers reflected cultural, ethnic and childhood appetites: "Pizza with pepperoni, lasagna, hot dogs with chili, cotton candy, bacon, sausage and pancakes." Now I was getting hungry!
I asked my tourists to take in a very deep breath, "all the way to the bottom of your toes," and then let it out. "Now, here's the really hard part," I said. "Can you let that big breath out but hold on to the very best scent of heaven?" They did it! I asked them to keep that smell and the sights and tastes in a very special place in their minds and hearts.
I learned that if you ask children the right questions - in a respectful way - they will help you to create heaven on earth.

by Albert M. Lewis

The Intimacy of the Table

The table is one of the most intimate places in our lives. It is there that we give ourselves to one another. When we say, "Take some more, let me serve you another plate, let me pour you another glass, don't be shy, enjoy it," we say a lot more than our words express. We invite our friends to become part of our lives. We want them to be nurtured by the same food and drink that nurture us. We desire communion. That is why a refusal to eat and drink what a host offers is so offensive. It feels like a rejection of an invitation to intimacy.
Strange as it may sound, the table is the place where we want to become food for one another. Every breakfast, lunch, or dinner can become a time of growing communion with one another.

by Henri Nouwen

The Music Of Life

The church has spent so much time inculcating in us the fear of making mistakes that she has made us like ill-taught piano students: we play our songs, but we never really hear them because our main concern is not to make music but to avoid some flub that will get us in dutch.

- Robert Farrar Capon

The Meal That Makes Us Family and Friends

We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another's plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body.
That is why it is so important to "set" the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, "This is a very special time for us, let's enjoy it!"

by Henri Nouwen

Seeing the Beauty and Goodness in Front of Us

We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide. There are trees and flowers to enjoy, paintings and sculptures to admire; most of all there are people who smile, play, and show kindness and gentleness. They are all around us, to be recognized as free gifts to receive in gratitude.
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.

by Henri Nouwen

Celebrating Being Alive

Birthdays are so important. On our birthdays we celebrate being alive. On our birthdays people can say to us, "Thank you for being!" Birthday presents are signs of our families' and friends' joy that we are part of their lives. Little children often look forward to their birthdays for months. Their birthdays are their big days, when they are the center of attention and all their friends come to celebrate.
We should never forget our birthdays or the birthdays of those who are close to us. Birthdays keep us childlike. They remind us that what is important is not what we do or accomplish, not what we have or who we know, but that we are, here and now. On birthdays let us be grateful for the gift of life.

by Henri Nouwen

Words That Create

Words, words, words. Our society is full of words: on billboards, on television screens, in newspapers and books. Words whispered, shouted, and sung. Words that move, dance, and change in size and color. Words that say, "Taste me, smell me, eat me, drink me, sleep with me," but most of all, "buy me." With so many words around us, we quickly say: "Well, they're just words." Thus, words have lost much of their power.
Still, the word has the power to create. When God speaks, God creates. When God says, "Let there be light" (Genesis 1:3), light is. God speaks light. For God, speaking and creating are the same. It is this creative power of the word we need to reclaim. What we say is very important. When we say, "I love you," and say it from the heart, we can give another person new life, new hope, new courage. When we say, "I hate you," we can destroy another person. Let's watch our words.

by Henri Nouwen

Words That Feed Us

When we talk to one another, we often talk about what happened, what we are doing, or what we plan to do. Often we say, "What's up?" and we encourage one another to share the details of our daily lives. But often we want to hear something else. We want to hear, "I've been thinking of you today," or "I missed you," or "I wish you were here," or "I really love you." It is not always easy to say these words, but such words can deepen our bonds with one another.
Telling someone "I love you" in whatever way is always delivering good news. Nobody will respond by saying, "Well, I knew that already, you don't have to say it again"! Words of love and affirmation are like bread. We need them each day, over and over. They keep us alive inside.

by Henri Nouwen

Unable to Fly Free

“Several years ago our family visited Niagara Falls. It was spring, and ice was rushing down the river. As I viewed the large blocks of ice flowing toward the falls, I could see that there were carcasses of dead fish embedded in the ice. Gulls by the score were riding down the river feeding on the fish. As they came to the brink of the falls, their wings would go out, and they would escape from the falls. “I watched one gull which seemed to delay and wondered when it would leave. It was engrossed in the carcass of a fish, and when it finally came to the brink of the falls, out went its powerful wings. The bird flapped and flapped and even lifted the ice out of the water, and I thought it would escape. But it had delayed too long so that its claws had frozen into the ice. The weight of the ice was too great, and the gull plunged into the abyss.”

Dr. George Sweeting

The Real Problem

“What’s wrong with the world?” a newspaper editorial once asked.
G. K. Chesterton wrote in reply, “I am.”

The Last Step

If there are a thousand steps between us and God, God will take all but one. God will leave the final one for us. The choice is ours.

- Max Lucado

A Call to Prayer

We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven. We have been preserved, the many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to God that made us It behooves us, then to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.
- President Abraham Lincoln’s Proclamation for a National Day of Fasting, Humliation and Prayer, April 30, 1863

Repentance

It is not repentance that saves me; repentance is the sign that I realize what God has done in Christ Jesus. The danger is to put the emphasis on the effect instead of on the cause. Is it my obedience that puts me right with God? Never! I am put right with God because prior to all else, Christ died. When I turn to God and by belief accept what God reveals, instantly the stupendous atonement of Jesus Christ rushes me into a right relationship with God. By the miracle of God’s grace I stand justified, not because of anything I have done, but because of what Jesus has done. The salvation of God does not stand on human logic; it stands on the sacrificial death of Jesus. Sinful men and women can be changed into new creatures by the marvelous work of God in Christ Jesus, which is prior to all experience.

- Oswald Chambers

Powerful Prayer

Do you wish your prayer to fly toward God? Give it two wings: fasting and almsgiving
- Saint Augustine -

Healing through Prayer

Richard Foster, in his book entitled Prayer, tells about a man who lived in constant fear and bitterness for twenty-eight years. The man had trouble getting to sleep at night, and when he did sleep he often would wake in a cold sweat, screaming. He had not laughed for many years. One day he told his pastor what had happened that caused such a deep sadness to hang over him. During World War II, he was in charge of thirty-three men. They became trapped by enemy gunfire. With deep sorrow in his eyes, the man told of how he had prayed desperately that God would get them out of that mess. Then, he sent his men out two by two—only to watch them get killed. Finally, he was able to escape with six men. From that experience he felt that God was very far from him. His heart was filled with rage, bitterness, and guilt. His pastor said, "Don't you know that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who lives in the eternal now, can enter that old painful memory and heal it so that it will no longer control you?" Together, the two men prayed that Jesus would go back those twenty-eight years and walk through that day with him. "Please, Lord," the pastor prayed, "Draw out the hurt and the hate and the sorrow and set him free." He asked for peaceful sleep to be one of the evidences of his healing work. The next week this man had a sparkle in his eyes and a brightness on his face. "Every night I have slept soundly and each morning I have awakened with a hymn on my mind," he proudly exclaimed. "And I am happy—happy for the first time in twenty-eight years." He was healed through the power of prayer.

What Prayer is About

Prayer is less about changing the world than it is about changing ourselves

- David J. Wolpe -

A Catalyst for Prayer

My grandmother had prayed first thing in the morning ever since she was a girl. But recently she has been reading the newspaper first, so I asked her if prayer had become less important to her. "Oh, no," she said, "I'm just looking to see what I should pray about.

Prayer

Prayer is the soul of religion, and failure there is not a superficial lack for the supply of which the spiritual life leisurely can wait. Failure in prayer is the loss of religion itself in its inward and dynamic aspect of fellowship with the Eternal.

— Harry Emerson Fosdick

A Greater Gift

Tolstoy, the great Russian writer, was passing along a street one day when a beggar stopped him, pleading for alms. The great Russian searched through his pockets for a coin, but finding none, he regretfully said, "Please don't be angry with me, my brother. I have nothing with me. If I did I would gladly give it to you." The beggar's face lit up, and he said, "You have given me more than I asked for. You have called me brother."

Taken on Trust

World citizen and contagious Christian Terry Waite entitled his autobiography Taken on Trust. In it he recounts his horrendous experience as a hostage in Beirut prisons for 1,763 days, almost four years of which were in solitary confinement. His first cell, underground, was 7 feet by 10 feet. Because he is 6 feet, 7 inches tall, Waite had difficulty standing erect. He learned to sit in a lotus position. Although living in cramped quarters, he made himself walk; some days he estimated seven miles. Day and night were indistinguishable. He was led to the toilet once a day. Early in his "detainment" Terry Waite vowed that his captors would not capture his soul. "Whatever is done to my body, I will fight to the end to keep my inner freedom."
He discovered that fasting increased his spiritual strength. His prayer life was consistent and beautiful. From memory, he would go through the communion service as recorded in the Book of Common Prayer, without the visible sacrament, of course.
This man, who served as envoy for the archbishop of Canterbury for many years and who had personally negotiated hostage releases for six years, had at last become one himself. Painful as was his condition, he accepted and recited his mantra: "No regrets, no sentimentality, no self-pity."

Things Left Behind

"During early childhood I had a fiery temper that often caused me to say or do unkind things. One day, after an argument had sent one of my playmates home in tears, my father told me that for each thoughtless, mean thing I did he would drive a nail into our gatepost. Each time I did a kindness or a good deed, one nail would be withdrawn. Months passed. Each time I entered our gate, I was reminded of the reasons for those ever-increasing nails, until finally, getting them out became a challenge. At last the long- awaited day arrived—only one more nail! As my father withdrew it I danced around proudly exclaiming, 'See, Daddy, the nails are all gone.' Father gazed intently at the post as he thoughtfully replied, 'Yes, the nails are gone—but the scars remain.'"

—Hazel Farris

The Nagging Secret

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his parish priest asked. "Enough to build my own home and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters. And our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."

Tax Returns

A man cheated on his income tax returns for years. His conscience eventually got the best of him; his guilt would keep him awake late into the night. Finally, he sent a letter to the IRS detailing his fraud. He ended the letter by saying, "Enclosed please find $500.00 cash. If I find I am still unable to sleep, I'll send the balance of what I owe. Signed, Anonymous."

The Stumbling Block

A revival meeting being held was showing no signs of success until one evening an elder stood up and said, "Pastor, I don't believe there is going to be revival as long as Brother Jones and I don't speak to each other." He went to Jones and said: "Brother Jones, we have not spoken for five years. Let's bury the hatchet. Here's my hand." And crying broke out in the congregation. Soon another elder rose and said: "Pastor, I've been saying mean things about you behind your back and nice things to your face. I'm asking your forgiveness." Many more members followed suit, confessing their wrongs, and God's presence was felt among them.

— F. B. Meyer