Things We Will Never Understand

Did you ever wonder why?
Some comedian has said: You tell a man there's 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, but tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it? Why?
Why is it called a hamburger when it's made out of beef? Why do you put suits in garment bags and put garments in suitcases? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms -- are they afraid someone is going to sneak in there and clean them?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic? When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss -- it sounds like a near hit to me?
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they know you don't have? Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway? Why are they called apartments when they're stuck together? Why are they called buildings when they are already finished? Shouldn't we call them builts? If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Why? Probably the most asked and least-answered question in the English language.
At human birth the brain weighs, on average, 14 ounces. It usually reaches its maximum size at age 15 (proving the size of the brain has nothing to do with intelligence level). At its maximum size, the brain weighs an average of 46 ounces, slightly less than three pounds. In liquid measurement, that's about a big gulp from the soda machine at the local gas station. There is no way for medical professionals to prove this, but the old theory was that we only used about 10 percent of our brain capacity. If that were true and we only start out with a big gulp in the first place, we're down to about a quarter-pounder with cheese by the time we're done. And we think that with our quarter-pounder with cheese, we're going to comprehend the infinite, decipher the mysteries of the millenniums, we're going to answer all the questions? Right!
Isn't it logically impossible that we as finite creatures could ever fully understand the infinite? Yet God reaches out to us, and invites us to know Him, and be known by Him - in that curious mixture of knowing, and yet not knowing fully. We walk by faith, in the knowledge of God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Responsive Prayer - Growth

Lord God Almighty, every year you renew the face of the earth;
Every Easter we are reminded of your will to renew this world, fallen into sin and death. Though each year brings us back to this remembrance, it is not your will for us to remain as we are.
Forgive us, Lord, for remaining as those on pure spiritual milk,
For failing to grow in our salvation,
For resisting your urge for us to chew on meatier matters of life and faith.
We must pause and ask ourselves whether we have truly discerned in Your Son the dawning of true life.
(Silent Reflection)
Lord, you have invited us to share in this new creation.
Teach us how to be a people who are ever seeking to move on into new territory,
Leaving behind yesterday’s struggles, and moving into the new challenges of the present, and the future.
All creation speaks of your renewing touch, Bringing new life from old.
Grant that we too might demonstrate your renewing touch – in our work, and in our worship. Grant that by the power of His resurrection we may be born anew to a living and dynamic hope, and so overcome the world.
Let your resurrected life renew every part of our life. Through Jesus Christ,
Crucified and risen Lord, we pray. Amen

Who’s the Cheat?

Sitting at the bar after a game, Joe said to a club member, "I'm not about to play golf with Jim Walsh any more. He really cheats!"
"Really?"
"Well, just today he suddenly found his 'lost' ball only two feet from the green."
"That's possible."
"Not when I had the ball in my pocket!"

Prayer of Trust

O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death
I will not fear,
for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me
to make my journey alone.
Amen

- Thomas Merton

The Bird in the Cage

There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New
England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying
a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.
Several eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak...
"I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, 'What you got there son?'"
"Just some old birds," came the reply.
"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.
"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time."
"But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"
"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."
The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"
"Huh?? Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing - they ain't even pretty!"
"How much?" the pastor asked again. The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?" The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.
The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.
Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story......
One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.
"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don't want those people!!"
"How much?" He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all your blood."
Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.
The pastor picked up the cage, opened the door and walked from the pulpit.

The History Of The Praying Hands

In the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, a father of eighteen children worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade as a goldsmith and any other paying chore he could find. Two of Albrecht Durer the Elder's children wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew that financially it was not possible.
Finally, the two boys worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would work in the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by labouring in the mines. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were highly regarded so by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.
When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant homecoming. After the meal, Albrecht rose to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled him to fulfil his ambition. His closing words were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you."
All heads turned to where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No ...no ...no ...no." Finally, he rose and wiped his tears. He glanced around at the faces he loved, and then said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look ... look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother ... for me it is too late."
More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolours, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world. Yet, like most people, you are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. and may very well have a reproduction of it.
One day, in honour of all that Albert had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The Praying Hands."
The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Let it be your reminder, if you still need one, that no one - no one - - ever makes it alone!

Magnificent Man

Man, man, magnificent man;
Creates forces that outshine the stars.
He can shoot himself up and tap-dance on the Moon;
Or hurl himself clear out to Mars.

He can unleash a force that evaporates steel
Since he's learned how an atom behaves.
Yet he has no recourse but to bow to the force
That summons the dead from their graves.

from Johnny Hart (BC comic strip Nov 1994)

Doing the job well

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.

- Martin Luther King, Jr. -

The Pastor and the Eggs

The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for their entire 25 years of marriage.
Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, "WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbours for $1.

Spelling Trivia

If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
POTATO would be spelled: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

Renewal

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.

- Albert Schweitzer -

Inspiration and Passion

Inspiration and passion usually go together. If you are going to try to persuade others to go with you, it certainly doesn't hurt that you've got very strong convictions about where you are going. Like Columbus did, for instance, to discover the New World. And, if you've got passion and conviction, you're more likely to be inspiring. If you're inspired yourself and you're passionate about something, you're more likely to succeed at it, and you're more likely to get others to come with you.

- Ted Turner -

On the ark

A rabbi asked a six year old boy what his favourite bible story was. "I guess the one about Noah and the ark, where they floated around on the water for 40 days and 40 nights" replied the boy.
"That was a good story" said the rabbi, "and, with all that water, I bet they had a good time fishing, don't you think?"
He boy thought for a moment, then replied "I don't think so... they only had two worms".

God Knows

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.
When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish...
God has counted your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.
When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.
When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn...
God has a solution.
When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.
When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.
When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe...
God has smiled upon you.
When you have a purpose to fulfil and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing...
GOD KNOWS

Joy

Joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstance... A man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy.

- William Barclay -

Undercover Clergy

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

Spoiled Rotten???

"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own colour TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when he misbehaves?" asked his friend."
"I send him to our room."

Be Still... Psalm 46:10

Most of the significant advances in human history - great social and political reformations, artistic productions, unique inventions, etc. - have come not from rushing around but from being still. They required periods of deep and rigorous contemplation, for only in this way can we escape the clamour of outer voices that remind us of 'how we've always done it.'
How do we find this time for solitude and introspection? We must stake it out for ourselves. One top manager I know does not allow his people to talk on the phone or meet between 8:30 and 9:30 in the morning. This is their quiet time. I used to talk to people on airplanes. Now I use that time to reflect, read, write, or just quiet my mind. I am amazed by my creativity after a long flight.
The point here is that there is no way to do silence wrong. The only thing 'wrong' would be not to do it.

Ken Blanchard, The Heart of a Leader

Just One Little Contribution… So Great

A minister once was asked to conduct the funeral for a man who had helped develop the famous Boeing 747 aircraft. After the service, I spoke with the widow and commented on how remarkable it was that her late husband had helped build that marvellous machine. She said, "The truth is, he worked on one little switchbox smaller than a loaf of bread. That's all he worked on for 15 years. But when that 747 lifted off the ground for the first time, it was the happiest day of his life."
He worked on one small switchbox for more than a decade. Yet the huge plane couldn't have lifted off without this man's contribution. Often we see only our seemingly small efforts and feel we aren't very important. But when the great Kingdom of God "lifts off," we'll be thrilled to find out that all of our efforts were essential.

Yom Kippur Confession (The Al-Chet)

For the mistakes we committed before You under duress and willingly.
For the mistakes we committed before You through having a hard heart.
For the mistakes we committed before you through things we blurted out with our lips.
For the mistake we committed before You through harsh speech.
For the mistakes we committed before You through wronging a friend.
For the mistakes we committed before You by degrading parents and teachers.
For the mistakes we committed before You by exercising power.
For the Mistakes we committed before You against those who know, and those who do not know.
For the mistakes we have committed before You through bribery.
For the mistake we have committed before You through denial and false promises.
For the mistake we have committed before You through negative speech.
For the mistakes we have committed before You with food and drink.
For the mistakes we committed before You by being arrogant.
For the mistakes we committed before You with a strong forehead (brazenness).
For the mistakes we committed before You in throwing off the yoke (i.e. refusing to accept responsibility).
For the mistakes we committed before You through jealousy (lit: 'a begrudging eye').
For the mistakes we committed before You through baseless hatred.
For the mistakes we committed before You in extending the hand.
For the mistakes we committed before You through confusion of the heart.

Two thoughts on Adam and Eve

* Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
* At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

How to promote the absence of God

(some tips from C. S. Lewis)

“Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully. But you’d be safer to stick to the papers. You’ll find the advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or snobbish appeal.”

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologise to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.
But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologised to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister together, and as God calls you to the tasks He has appointed for you, don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength, and that "In Him every one of God's promises is a Yes."

Overcoming the "impossible"

Many men fail because they quit too soon. They lose faith when the signs are against them. They do not have the courage to hold on, to keep fighting in spite of that which seems insurmountable. If more of us would strike out and attempt the "impossible," we very soon would find the truth of that old saw that nothing is impossible... Abolish fear and you can accomplish anything you wish.

- C. E. Welch -

God knows

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.
When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish...
God has counted your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.
When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.
When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn...
God has a solution.
When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.
When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.
When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe...
God has smiled upon you.
When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing...
GOD KNOWS

A lesson on Value

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."
He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.
"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God's eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to Him.
Psalm 17:8 states that God will keep us, "as the apple of His eye."
THOUGHT: The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we are but by WHOSE WE ARE!

Still Learning

There's a chimp at the Fort Worth zoo who's making headlines - they've taught him to read! He's now reading the Bible, and Darwin's "Origin of the Species." It is confusing him - he's not sure if he's his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother.

True Heroes

The Christian ideal changed and reversed everything so that, as the gospel puts it, "That which was exalted among men has become an abomination in the sight of God." The ideal is no longer the greatness of Pharaoh or of the Roman emperor, nor the beauty of a Greek nor the wealth of Phoenicia, but humility, purity, compassion, love. The hero is no longer Dives, but Lazarus the beggar; not Mary Magdalene in the day of her beauty but the day of her repentance; not those who acquire wealth, but those who have abandoned it; not those who dwell in palaces, but those who dwell in catacombs and huts; not those who rule over others, but those who acknowledge no other authority but God's. - Leo Tolstoy in What Is Art?

Growth and Change

I believe a man is born first unto himself - for the happy developing of himself, while the world is a nursery, and the pretty things are to be snatched for, and pleasant things tasted; some people seem to exist thus right to the end. But most are born again on entering manhood; then they are born to humanity, to a consciousness of all the laughing, and the never-ceasing murmur of pain and sorrow that comes from the terrible multitudes of brothers.

- D. H. Lawrence -

The state of humanity

A person asked God, "What surprises you most about mankind?"
And God answered:
"That they lose their health to make money, then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."
"But this is no real surprise to me, for what may be known about Me was plain to them -- I made it plain to them. Ever since the creation of the world, My invisible qualities -- My eternal power and divine nature -- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
"For although humankind once knew me, they neither glorified Me as God nor thanked Me, so their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged My truth for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than Me, their Creator -- who they should praise forever."
adapted from Paul's letter to the Christians in Rome.

(source unknown)

Success and Mistakes

To some people, I am kind of a Merlin who takes lots of crazy chances, but rarely makes mistakes. I've made some bad ones, but fortunately, the successes have come along fast enough to cover up the mistakes. When you go to bat as many times as I do, you're bound to get a good average.

- Walt Disney -