Back In My Day...

In my day, we didn't have any rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope you could outrun him.